Death

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#OutoftheBlue#VictoryStory

Tuesday, July 14th, 2020

“What is it with me?” I have to ask. This is the third book review in a row? This is the second that has to deal with cancer. You might be wondering the same thing. Is Bill trying to tell us something? Truthfully, not that I know of. Who knows what is going on inside my body…or yours for that matter.

While I was reading Dream Big by Bob Goff (my review is here) Bob told how he was asked to do a Preface for a book by Greg Murtha. So I pursued it a bit further since Bob told a little of Greg’s story and it sounded interesting. Greg wrote a book called Out of the Blue and finished it on June 19, 2017. He went “to the head of the line” on June 22, 2017.  This book is Greg’s story and life lessons learned during 5 years of chemotherapy and fighting through 75 chemo treatments.  This was literally one of those books I had trouble putting down.  I started reading it Saturday evening since I didn’t have to preach and had to pry it out of my hands to go to bed. Then as I tossed and turned I wondered if I should have just stayed up and read some more. I finished it Sunday night after attending church with friends, having lunch with them, and coming home to cut grass. The rest of my evening was spent putting the finishing touches on reading this book. IT WAS THAT GOOD!

Greg was a hard-driving and successful man, but by his own admission not a great husband or father. Provider? Yes. Engaged? No.  But here is how his journey began: “On a cold December morning in 2011, I ran eleven miles on the picturesque Crocket Hills Trail in Middle Tennessee…As a 46 year old man in what I thought was peak physical condition, eleven miles was nothing. Afterward, sweating but pumped, I headed for the bathroom at the YMCA. That’s when my runner’s high deflated. It appeared as if someone had poured a container of bright-red blood into the toilet. It was a lot of blood, and I realized instantly, this is not good.”

So begins his story of 5 years/75 treatments. And so begins one of the most captivating books you will ever read.  One month after that 11 mile run, Greg and Tracey (his wife) found out he had Aggressive Stage 3 colon cancer (I’ll leave out the details)  which soon became Stage 4.  Out of the blue his life was changed forever.  Out of the blue his well-planned life had been radically changed. Hence, now you know the reason for the title of the book.

And out of the blue I was slammed by the lessons Greg learned.  How often, even though I want to be a pastor who is tender and open to that still, small voice of the Holy Spirit, have I walked past people who are obviously hurting?  How many times have I been so preoccupied with my own issues or concerns that I have failed to see the signs of others who are needing someone to care?  How many times have I sensed that nudge from the Spirit to reach out and failed to do so? I can honestly say…way too many.  I shed tears during this book.  Not for Greg but for how his heart was made tender for others. How his heart was molded into a heart like Jesus.  And I shed tears because I am so lacking in that department. Like Joni, Greg says cancer was a blessing and he wouldn’t change a thing.  His biggest regret was leaving behind his wife of 23+ years and his 15 year old son.

Out of the blue God taught me how I needed to be much more open to others; how I needed to be much more sensitive to His voice and available to His lead.  I say “out of the blue” because I was not expecting this book to be what it was-a lesson in listening to God’s voice and acting upon it.  Greg’s journey on this earth is over, but then again, maybe it has just begun…in me. I pray my heart will be open to the Father’s leading as his was.

Get this book. But just be forewarned: you will be hit out of the blue with powerful lessons.

Out of the Blue: The Unexpected Adventure of Life Interrupted

#Lent#32

Friday, April 10th, 2020

Today, April 10,2020 is Good Friday. A day of sickness and death for many, but for people all over the globe it is a day with a different meaning,

From Darkness to Light.

From Pitch Black to Blinding Luminescence.

From Dark Rumbling Clouds to Glorious Sunshine.

From Hatred to Love.

From Loss to Gain

From Loser to Winner.

From Death to Life.

It’s Friday…but Sunday’s Coming!

#Lent#29

Tuesday, April 7th, 2020

I have a grandson who is now 13. He hates losing. He has been that way ever since I can remember. He gets emotional, i.e. angry and (used to) cry when he didn’t do well or the team lost. He was probably around 8 maybe when we went to see the Pirates (my team) play the Reds (his team) at PNC Park in Pittsburgh. The game had see-sawed. It looked good for the Pirates until the Reds rallied to tie it late in the game.  It was the bottom of the 9th with one or two outs (I can’t remember) when my favorite player came up and hit a game-winning Home Run. He was sitting on my lap so he could see better and immediately dropped his head into my lap. About a minute or so later-after I celebrated by yelling and clapping and the fireworks went off-I noticed his head was still there. So I lifted his head and he was crying! When I asked him why he was crying he said, “Because they lost and you should never lose or accept losing.” When I tucked him into bed that night at the hotel, I asked him why he said what he did. Who told him that? He told me and I was both sad and angry. I lovingly told him that it was good to win and to want to win, but sometimes losing is part of the game and life.  You accept it. Learn from it. And move on. Yeah, I know, maybe a lot for an 8 year old. But he got it!

It astounds me that people would give us so easily and want to follow a loser. A defeated foe. A supposed victory of death by crucifixion was changed three short days later by a victory. He thought he had won. He looked like he won, but that late inning resurrection snatched victory out of his hand and rendered him a big one in the “L” column.

Satan is defeated and will never recover. Follow Jesus. Don’t follow a defeated enemy. Jesus won!

#Lent#28

Monday, April 6th, 2020

There has been and always will be a difference in the work and motives of God and the work and motives of Satan. God works for good; Satan (the enemy) works for evil.

Take Jesus’ death for example. Satan saw it as an opportunity for evil, to get rid of his sworn enemy. But God saw it as an opportunity for good, to have a sacrifice in the place of sinners to bring about the salvation of those sinners. I like the way John Piper put it much better than I just did:

The heart of the Bible is not an explanation of where evil comes from, but a demonstration of how God enters into it and turns it for the very opposite-everlasting righteousness and joy. (p.118)

Ironically, Jesus had to endure evil and suffering in order to overcome evil and suffering. It still amazes me that He was willing to go through all that evil and suffering in order to declaw them. It’s like what Paul asked at the end of I Corinthians 15: “O death, where is your sting? O death, where is your victory?”  (verses 54-55)  Declawed for good. No Energizer bunny here.

#Lent#27

Wednesday, April 1st, 2020

I have said in the past, “I was saved by grace; I am being saved by grace; and in the end I will be saved by grace.” Paul put it this way: “This grace by which I stand.” (Rom.5:2)

You see, the whole idea of salvation relates to the past, the present, and the future. Using what I said earlier, I could say, “I have been saved; I am being saved; I will be saved.”

Take the death of Jesus. His death saved; His death saves; His death will save. He paid for all sins of the past. He paid for all sins today so I can know I am saved and secure in His grace. He paid for me to know my future home is waiting, kept in heaven for me. 

I’m rejoicing this Easter season that even though there is a quarantine (2020) that will keep us from meeting publicly as a body, nothing can damper the promise of forgiveness of sin-past, present, and future. His shed blood is a stamp guaranteeing eternity for me. And it can be for you as well.

#Lent#24

Friday, March 27th, 2020

In yesterday’s devotion, I focused on Jesus conquering death, hell and the grave. Let’s focus a bit more on the latter one today. I absolutely loved John Piper’s statement:

The keys of death were hung on the inside of Christ’s tomb. (p.100)

WOW! I love the picture that gives. As I walk into my house, on the wall to my left is a hook. It is where I put my keys as soon as I walk in the door.  That way I know where they are when/if I need them. When I leave in the morning the last thing I get before I walk out the door is my keys. If I need to run to my truck to get something I know where my keys are. My imagination can do a great picture of this. Just before or as the stone was rolled away, I can picture Jesus reaching over the grabbing the key called “Resurrection” and take it off the hook and walk out.

I simply cannot say it better than Piper did.

The resurrection of Jesus is God’s gift and proof that His death was completely successful in blotting out the sins of His people and removing the wrath of God. (p.100)

It was like God’s stamp on the whole deal. It’s like getting loan papers in the mail with a big stamp of PAID on it. PAID. IN. FULL. The Law was satisfied. The debt was paid.  Eternal life promised.

Oh yeah! He rose!  Signed. Sealed. Delivered. Love that key!!

#Lent#12

Thursday, March 12th, 2020

In yesterday’s post (#Lent#11)  I gave some thoughts about what survivors need after a loved one has died.  I encourage you to read that before reading this post (if you haven’t already done so).  In this post, I’d like to carry on with how to treat a survivor with some thoughts on Things Not to Say and Things to Say.

THINGS NOT TO SAY:

  1. “He/she is in a better place now.”  The question which begs to be asked is, “How do you know for sure?” Unless the victim was a follower of Christ,  you are better off not giving false hope.
  2. “I know how you feel.” No, no you don’t. You know how you feel, not how they feel.
  3. “All things work together for good” or “Everything happens for a reason.” Honestly, not only do I want to gag when someone says this (even though it may be half true), but it sounds more like an empty platitude.
  4. “God never gives you more than you can handle.” Not biblical.
  5. “What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.”  Catchy Kelly Clarkson song, but this comes from Nietzche, who was an atheistic philosopher. He publicized the “God is Dead” movement.
  6. “Let me know if there is anything I can do to help.” This may sound good coming from your lips but it is virtually a worthless use of words. Why not offer something tangible like “I’m going to bring you a meal” or “Let’s go out for a run or coffee.”
  7. Any joking about people killing themselves is out of bounds. “Oh, if I fail this test, I’m going to kill myself.” (Roll eyes)

THINGS TO SAY:

  • Nothing. (But be present).  Being there and letting them talk or cry or just holding them or just sitting with them is much better than endlessly spoken, weary words. 
  • “I’m so sorry.”  (And mean it when you say it. Yeah you would be surprised).
  • “I don’t know what to do or say. ”  (See the first one of this section).
  • “Do you want to go out for coffee?”  (See #6 above).
  • “Tell me what you remember about him/her.”  (I do this for the funeral experience. It helps them remember the good times).
  • “Tell me your story.”  If they have been married a long time this helps heal.

Some added thoughts: 

  1. Be careful of using “committed suicide.” This implies criminality.
  2. Be careful of saying “completed suicide.” This sounds like a laudatory accomplishment, like completing a project or a grade.
  3. It is much better  to say, “Took his/her own life” or “He or she died.”

I know it is hard to know what to say. It is made worse by “tongue-tied disease.”  People want to give comfort but don’t know how.  Granted, much of what I have written is concerning suicide, but in many cases the advice can apply to any death and survivor.

Some of what I have shared comes from a book by Albert Y. Hsu entitled Grieving a Suicide. I simply cannot recommend this book enough.  The thoughts are a mash up of his and mine (mostly his). 🙂

#Lent#11

Wednesday, March 11th, 2020

I’m going to take a break from my regularly scheduled Lent posts for a commercial.  Actually, the break is real; the commercial is not.  Lent’s focus is to prepare us for Good Friday and, ultimately, Resurrection Sunday.  Its design is to bring our minds to the importance of the crucifixion.  I’ll be honest: I’m not doing the normal Lenten thing of giving up something. I don’t observe Lent, as such, but I do want to portion a time of my morning Quiet Time to focus on what it is all about.  Hence, the Lent posts over the past 10 days or so.  I am calling this #11 even though it is not a typical Lent post. But I have something on my mind that won’t let go.

DEATH

The natural focus is the death of Jesus which will be observed in a few weeks. Sermons will be preached on “stand out” passages like Isaiah 53, the 7 last sayings of Jesus, and others. But my mind and heart are elsewhere this morning. Last Monday, the 2nd, our community suffered the loss of one of its members by suicide.  I was asked to do the funeral (on the 9th) even though he or the family did not come to OVCF.  I did not know the man; I know his wife; and I know his children from sports.  I refuse to judge the man or his destiny based on the act, but I was “charged” with saying something at the funeral.  I focused on his relationship with kids in sports and then spoke to the family about the faithfulness of God using Psalm 23. 

But the preceding Sunday (the 8th) I took some time out of our morning worship to speak to the church about how to respond; what to say; what not to say, if they should see the family or go to the visitation that afternoon.  I’m going to split what I said into two posts: this one and then one tomorrow.

I’m taking as my model Jesus’ concern for those He loved as He hung on the cross, particularly His mother and John. His love for His mother never stopped, nor did His love for John. He gave them each a charge: “Here is your son. Take care of my mother.” (paraphrased)

Part one of two posts is basically centered around what can friends of survivors do? Keep in mind this is for more than just suicide.  This can be applied to the survivor of any death.

  • Pray for them. Listen to them.  Send cards.  Provide company. Help with practical details, funeral arrangements, food, phone call, and so on.  Do what you can to help ease the immediate pain.
  • Survivors need presence, not platitudes. They don’t need pat answers to incomprehensible questions. They need the loving presence of friends to keep going. They need companions on the journey, not empty words and answers.  They don’t need their pain minimized; they want others to be willing to be with them in their pain and grief.

When Jesus was looking down at His mother and John, compassion and love rolled up within Him for both.  He wanted to make sure His mother was taken care of and He was giving His friend a high honor.

This post is long enough for today. Tomorrow I want to share with you what to say and what not to say. I hope you will join me. But more than that, I hope you can learn and use (unfortunately) what I am learning.

#Lent#7

Thursday, March 5th, 2020

Grace. That is the theme of two very important events: the birth of Jesus and the death of Jesus.

The birth of Jesus is a picture of grace. More specifically, His lineage. I’m sure you have heard the analysis of the women in His lineage. If not, here it is:

  • Tamar- played the prostitute with Judah to have a child.
  • Rahab- was a prostitute who saved the spies.  She became the mother of Boaz.
  • Ruth- a Gentile who married Boaz and became the great grandmother of David.
  • Bathsheba- an adulteress the mother of Solomon.
  • Mary- the mother of Jesus. A virgin, yes, but not sinless. One of us.

PURE GRACE.

The death of Jesus is also a picture of grace.  Maybe it would be more accurate to say it was grace in action.  Grace is defined as “unmerited favor.”  Who of us can say we deserved that kind of love?  None of us. But that kind of love is grace in action. The King dying on a cross He didn’t deserve, for someone like me, who didn’t deserve that display of love. As the old hymn says, “I stand amazed in the presence of Jesus the Nazarene/And wonder how he could love me a sinner condemned unclean/ O how marvelous, O how wonderful and my song shall ever be/ O how marvelous, O how wonderful is my Savior’s love for me.”

GRACE. PURE GRACE.

#Lent#3

Saturday, February 29th, 2020

The way the story of the Bible, the way the truth weaves its way through the whole Biblical narrative has never ceased to impress me.  It starts in Genesis 3 with the Fall and God’s judgment on the serpent-the animal and the force behind it.

  • “On your belly you will go and eat dirt”
  • “And I will put enmity between you and woman and between your seed and her seed.”
  • “You will bruise His heel; He will bruise your head.”

And then this!  “For this purpose the Son of God was manifested, that He might destroy the works of the devil.” (I John 3:8)

Satan would only bruise Jesus’ heel (cause Him to suffer), but Jesus would bruise Satan’s head (destroy him). Unless you are Achilles, a blow to the heel won’t kill you.  A blow to the head can and, if it lands just right, will.

The cross was that place.  Jesus suffered (His heel was bruised) but Satan was defeated by suffering a fatal blow (head slammed).  Thank God for the cross and the resurrection!