Last week I put out a call for any who would like to tell their story.  I asked Jan to tell hers.  She graciously said yes.  I met Jan in 1987 and our friendship has developed through the years, even though separated by miles.  It is longer than my normal posts, but her story is worth it.  She is not a blogger so no place to link you to.  If you would like to submit a story, please email me at pastor@ovcf.org.

Hi!  I’m Janann (Jan), a small town girl (pop.1,000) from Illinois.  I always wanted to be a teacher, but college wasn’t for me, so I got married and started having children. We moved to Indiana, where we became involved in church & my husband & I were saved.  Bill later came along & was the preacher at this church.

I have 4 boys & 1 girl.  I was married for 18 turbulent, volatile years.  During this marriage, our 4th son went through a very serious lawnmower accident. While running behind the riding mower my oldest son was using (he was 13), James slipped and his left foot was almost amputated.  He had just turned 7 & was a very happy, rambunctious 1st grader.  Long story short, he was airlifted to a major hospital in Indianapolis, with the blade still in his foot.  When we arrived at the hospital, the Dr. told us that he’d never seen anything like this before, but the major vein that runs through the foot was “kinked”, causing the blood flow to stop. The Dr. told us if that vein hadn’t “kinked” my son would have bled to death.  Praise God!  Someone asked me if I was mad at God.  I replied, “No, He just saved James’ life.”  After 13 surgeries, James foot was saved. He lost his ankle, but can walk and run, something the Drs. told us he would never be able to do.  James is 22 now, and other than having arthritis pain in the winter, he is fine. God has since saved James many times from other serious accidents he’s been involved in.  His healing power, I have witnessed through this child!

I was a stay at home mom, & became very involved in my children’s school as a volunteer & President of the P.T.O.  Children were my priority & I loved being around students.  When my youngest entered Kindergarten, the Principal asked me, “Would you like a job here?”  I jumped for joy with a big “YES!”  Thank you God.  I worked in my kids’ school system from 1996-2011, grades K-12 & special education.  I feel that God placed me in the school system. Imagine, a stay at home mom with just a high school diploma!  I had a good rapport with kids, especially in the High School & many of them just needed someone to care & listen to them. Yes, God can use even a stay at home mom to influence & encourage the lives of young people. While I couldn’t become a teacher, He used me in that capacity in other ways at school.

I went through a very horrible divorce that was quite devastating on my children. I was in an abusive marriage & I thought an affair was my final way out.  I had left my husband several times, but always returned because I was scared I couldn’t make it on my own.  I really thought God had forsaken me for sure.  To say that my children were angry with me is an understatement. They too had suffered physical & emotional abuse, but their loyalty was with their father.  Our divorce went through quickly & the children stayed with my ex.  I remarried. We were both Christians and knew what we had done was sinful & wrong.  I was so afraid God would never bless our marriage and that we would never be a family with my children and his 1 daughter.  I went through a very serious depression and just wanted to die.  I didn’t eat, sleep or care about anything. I was grieving the loss of my children & felt like a total worthless human being, and felt I had let God down in doing my job as a mother.  What kind of mother doesn’t live with her own children?  As a result of this depression, I was hospitalized twice.  Through it all, my husband attended church & had people praying for me. Slowly my children started coming around, and after swearing they would never step foot in my new home, they started to visit me.  This took almost 2 years, but I never once stopped contact with them.  My pain was so deep that I knew God would never forgive me. Praise God, my children forgave me. I know that was God working in them.

In these last 8 years of marriage, we have successfully become a family with 6 children ranging from ages 30 to 20.  The kids all get along & family get-togethers are very entertaining.  God has also blessed us with 2 grandsons, now ages 2 yrs. & 5 mos. God has been revealing His blessings & I feel he honors our marriage now.  I have been learning that God has forgiven me & that Satan likes to use this to weaken my faith.  I have to constantly stay in the Word. My husband & I are strong together, and even stronger with God leading our way.

I would say that my pitfalls were my lack of faith & believing that God would never love me again for my horrible sin, that I was just a nobody with nothing good in me.  I’ve had many perils- the accident, abusive marriage, affair, divorce, separation from my children, & many other hardships that my young adult children have gone through- which have affected me deeply.  I see now that the possibilities are endless with God.  He knows what’s best for me and will never leave, nor forsake me.  I have His promise of unconditional love, forgiveness and an eternal life just waiting for me! 

God has moved us to a city we love & to a beautiful house. I am living about 40 miles from my children, which to me seems like a lot, but since moving God has used my alone time to get me into His Word. I joined a ladies bible study & can actually feel Him transforming my heart & attitude. At first I questioned why I had to be alone here. My husband works a lot of hours & with no kids in & out of my house, I was getting depressed again.  But, I see now that God has used this time for us, Him & me.  And, I know that He is preparing me for something.  I feel the need to become involved in our new church & I just feel that He’s going to place me right where He wants me.  He knows my gifts, I’m not always sure what they are, but I am comforted in knowing He is sovereign over my life & I want to live my life to glorify His name! His grace is sufficient for me!

Thank you for reading my story.  🙂

Please feel free to comment.  Jan can respond.