August 16th, 2012

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Grudges

Thursday, August 16th, 2012

 

Someone once said,

We are most like beasts when we kill.  We are most like men when we judge.  We are most like God when we forgive.

Archibald Hart, a Christian counselor says,

Forgiveness is surrendering my right to hurt you for hurting me.

Talking about David over the past couple of months has led to several posts and sermons on forgiveness.  So it is not my intention to beat a dead horse.  I don’t think I am singing a new song when I say that talking about forgiveness is a touchy subject.  Many would prefer to hold a grudge than to forgive.  I am certainly no expert in this, since I am not a trained counselor.  I can only speak from almost 40 years experience as a pastor and an observer of people.   I can say with all that is in me:  people seem to prefer- no matter how much it hurts them- to carry grudges and the desire for revenge, sometimes to their grave.  One of the greatest blessings a person can do is forgive, but I am not naive enough to think it is an easy thing to do.

Some people have the ability to do that easier than others.  Depends on personality. Depends on the offense.  Depends, for many, on the strength of their relationship to Jesus.  I don’t say this to brag so I hope you don’t take it that way, but God has blessed me with the ability to forgive fairly easily.  Granted, it may take a little time as I work through my thoughts, burn down a house, spread rumors, etc (I jest, I jest), but I realize it is not healthy to maintain the grudge.  I have literally seen people eaten alive by the failure to forgive and I just don’t want to be in those shoes.

Have you ever heard of Shimei?  No?  Check him out here.   He was just a spittin’ and a fumin’ over David’s rule.  He threw stones.  Kicked up some dust.  Taunted.  Maybe even said a few choice words.  :)    David chose not to lash out.  But when David returns to Jerusalem to resume his reign, Shimei sure sang a different tune.  David forgave him and let him live.  Say what?  Yep, he let him live.  Good thing too.  David could have made short work of Shimei and his cohorts quickly.

Showing mercy was a sign of strength.  Not a sign of weakness like so many think today.  Being the “bigger man” is a good idea. I would be remiss to leave out one vital end part.  David is giving his last minute talk to Solomon when he says this.  Honestly?  I don’t know what to make of that.  It is sad to think of the singer of Israel approaching his final days with revenge on his lips.

What are your thoughts about this?  I sure am open to hearing your thoughts.   Do you forgive easily or tend to hold grudges?

Posted in Christian living, Preaching, Scripture look, Sermon Series/Topic | 28 Responses »

Positive

Thursday, August 16th, 2012

QUICK QUIZ…….

Have you ever met someone who exudes a negative attitude?

OR….

Have you ever met someone who exudes a positive attitude?

Who would you rather spend time with?  Silly question isn’t it?  Unless we spend our days getting up on the wrong side of the bed, none of us enjoy spending time with a person whose life centers around negativity and cynicism.  If you do, well….

We hear a lot about attitude and its importance.  I certainly won’t deny that.  I can’t even count on all my fingers and toes how many times I have heard in one form or another “Attitude is everything.”   There is no doubt that attitude is important, but it isn’t everything.  A person can have the greatest attitude in the world but that won’t make him a good/best leader around.  It won’t be the cure to a debilitating disease.  I have known pastors who have the best attitude of anyone I know but their church still flounders.

A leader’s attitude is like oxygen to the body.  Case in point: I am allergic to smoke.  Cigarette/cigar smoke about “kills” me.  Campfire smoke I tolerate a little better, but I can’t wait to get a shower and get the smell out of my hair and nostrils.  (No I don’t shampoo them). :)   For me to breathe in “toxic” air soon takes its toll on my ability to breathe.  The same is true of attitude.   My attitude shapes how I see people and life in general.  A leader must have a positive attitude…

BUT THAT IS NOT ALL IT TAKES!

Attitude goes a long way, but it also helps when leaders actually like people.  I once knew a leader who disliked people, and except for a few cases, disliked being around people.  He was also authoritarian.  While  he made a good leader when it came to decision-making and policy, he was lousy when it came to sensitivity and listening.  It wasn’t that he couldn’t do it; he didn’t want to.  He would just as soon walk around you than stop and listen.   For a church leader that is disastrous.  To be autocratic and authoritarian but not like people is like…well…I can’t find the words.  You see, people know when they are liked or not.  They know when they are an appendage or really matter.

This whole idea doesn’t just apply to leaders.  It goes for all of us.  People want to know they matter to you, to me.  They don’t want to be seen as a statistic, or a notch on the belt.  “Yep, that is #5 for this year.”  Some churches caught in the numbers game do that-perhaps inadvertently-but they do it.  We can also begin to see people at “clients” or “targets,” unless we are careful.   They want to know “Do I matter to you?”  Of that I am absolutely positive.

How do you view people?  How do you view yourself?  What sort of attitude do you display?

Posted in Christian living, Church, Friendship, Leadership, Pick me Up | 36 Responses »