Today (Monday) I had an occasion to meet with a family from Florida who have returned to bury his mother on Tuesday. I did not know the family, but had a delightful visit. They shared some memories of his mom so I can have a little glimpse of her for the service. It got me to thinking of my mom and her death in 2004. This woman was 75 and died sort of unexpectedly, although she had been suffering for years from a lung problem.
The mother of one of the leaders in the church also died unexpectedly early Monday morning. She had been feeling fairly good lately so the death was sort of a shock.
After my post yesterday, and the news today, I’ve been doing some thinking (dangerous I know). People talk about “bucket lists” and all. I can’t honestly say I have one. Sure, I would have liked to have ridden my bike cross country by the time I was 50, but I can promise you than “ain”t a happening.” 🙂 Anyway, I found this:
If I had my life to live over again, I’d try to make more mistakes next time.
I would relax, I would limber up, I would be sillier than I have been this trip.
I know of very few things I would take seriously.
I would take more trips. I would be crazier.
I would climb more mountains, swim more rivers, and watch more sunsets.
I would do more walking and looking.
I would eat more ice cream and less beans.
I would have more actual troubles, and fewer imaginary ones.
You see, I’m one of those people who lives life prophylactically and sensibly hour after hour, day after day. Oh, I’ve had my moments, and if I had to do it over again I’d have more of them.
In fact, I’d try to have nothing else, just moments, one after another, instead of living so many years ahead each day. I’ve been one of those people who never go anywhere without a thermometer, a hot-water bottle, a gargle, a raincoat, aspirin, and a parachute.
If I had to do it over again I would go places, do things, and travel lighter than I have.
If I had my life to live over I would start barefooted earlier in the spring and stay that way later in the fall.
I would play hookey more.
I wouldn’t make such good grades, except by accident.
I would ride on more merry-go-rounds.
I’d pick more daisies.
Of course, not all that applies to me, but I do like the thought. So…let me ask you: what would you do differently next time around if given the chance?
There are some things that I wouldn’t change too much, but the list of things that I would change is larger and getting larger by the year. If I had another chance to do things again, I think the biggest thing that I would do is to let go more often. Clutching so tightly to my rote routine has done so much damage in some areas of my life. It has caused me to be selfish to my great detriment.
So thankful for your honesty Daniel. I have also found it hard to “unclutch” on some things. And you are right: they do cause pain.
I would let go of things that aren’t really that big. I would guard my heart more in some cases but open it in others. I would make sure to say the words “thank you”, “I love you” and even “I miss you” when given the opportunity. I would realize that it really is okay to say no- but sometimes, even in the times you WANT to say “no”- a “yes” is what is needed more. I would learn to listen more and talk less.
Love that you are young and learning this. You definitely are your father’s daughter. 🙂 I love you much.
I would take more risks.
I’d cultivate a range of healthy habits earlier. Habits like reading and spiritual disciplines.
I concur on both Rodney. I have tended to play it too safe in some things. And I definitely wish I would have chosen a healthier lifestyle (cycling sooner instead of trying to play basketball longer than I should have). I would also have adopted better eating habits and not waited so long. Good to hear from you “across the pond.”
I would have worked less when I was a kid and played more.
I played more and worked less. 🙂 but what you suggest is a common malady of some: never having a chance to be a kid.
Man. That one will get you thinkin’… I have to say, I might travel more for the experience although I don’t really appreciate it. I’d try to be less serious I guess, I like having fun and try to even when maybe I shouldn’t, but I think I’d be less reckless, more controlled, less wild.
I just came from a trip with only my briefcase, if I forget something I’ll wing it when I get there. I do stop for sunsets, I wear gym shorts everyday of the year and usually for work. I’ve lived my life mostly to the beat of my own drum, and have to say only the beat of my Father’s drum gives me cadence or any kind of lasting peace and joy regardless of where I am and what I’m doing. If I had another time I’d like to think that would be my all and all. My Alpha and Omega. Hope that doesn’t sound to cliche’.
Nope understand. I know I would change how well and how often I listened to the Father’s voice and not my own or those around me. It would be tough for me to wear gym shorts all year round: cold and my job. 🙂 You lucky dog!!
Adopt some kids while I still had enough energy to chase after them.
Give a lot more
Say I’m sorry more.
Enjoy more moments
Sing more
Get saved at earlier age
Go on more trips for fun
Practice being swift to hear and slow to speak more.
Wait till I was older to get married. Never lived on my own.
Go to college
Get a degree in counseling
I am sure there are more but just reading through what I wrote I realized most of this I can do NOW. Good thoughts brother, good thoughts.
I love what you have written Betty. Maybe you can ask God for a “do over.” 🙂 Glad you are not done dreaming though.
If I had the chance I would love to change some of the choices I made and have lived to regret. When I was 19 I was working full time, going to school full time and taking piano lessons – I quit the piano lessons. I never stopped playing just wish I had developed my skills more. On a similar note, I started to study music theory in college once and dropped out because I didn’t think I was good enough. Wish I hadn’t. There are plenty more examples but I don’t want to bore you all to sleep.
If I could go back, I wouldn’t be so reserved, I’d be more outgoing. I’ve always been way too worried what people think about me. My recent forays into blogland are partially an attempt to get “out of myself”, take some risks and put myself out there. The beauty is, though I can’t go all the way back, I can still make some course changes and leave behind fewer regrets in my future.
Thanks for making me think!
WOW David! That took a lot to admit that first paragraph. Perhaps it is not too late??? As for your latter paragraph: I was always outgoing. I wonder if I had been more reserved what I would have been like. Insufferable still. 😉 As for choices made I regret? I echo Frank Sinatra: I’ve made a few.
Well, the piano wasn’t a total loss, I was blessed to have spent some where around 20 years playing with the worships group at 3 different churches. I might try again if ever I get plugged in somewhere again.
If you were close….
Never thought much of a “bucket list”… didn’t seem much different than a “to do” list and I rarely like lists of any kind! Still, going forward, I’m trying to be less of that “loud mouthed, opinionated guy”, trying to be more comfortable in the skin God gave me, and allow the connection between Father and son touch everybody I meet.
Maybe that’s my “little pail” list! 😉
I don’t have a bucket list either jay. I like your “little pail” list idea. I wouldn’t know anything about being a loud-mouthed, opinionated guy. 😀
Great question:
I would not change my bike ride cross country at age 16 🙂
knowing what i know now, i would have stayed out of debt, so i could have more freedom to do all the fun stuff
like taking a year off and working in some far off land (like Sheboygan or Burma)
Great post Bill.
I’m jealous Ben. 🙂 I would definitely take a do over financially.
I have no regrets. Maybe I can wish I knew something then that I know now. But that’s not how it works. Only what I am going to do matters. I still have things I am going to do. I want no do overs. I want the b******t with the good times. That’s life. I am happy. That is all that matters.
I know there are things i wish I knew then what I know now. But as you said, it doesn’t work that way.
(Edit was mine)
I’m thankful that I don’t have a lot of regrets. I love to learn and doing things the wrong way is the best way to do that. I do, however, really like this list. 🙂 Thanks, Bill!
So true Melanie: learning from mistakes and those things we do wrong is so important. Oh…you’re welcome.
I’d try harder to succeed in thw work world.
I’d try harder to succeed with my artistic talents.
I’d try harder to succeed in my personal relationships.
And most importantly I’d sure try my hardest to succeed in knowing God more!
🙂
Good list Ed. But you can also start now.
This question overwhelms me so much that I can’t possibly write them all down. 🙁 Good post though.
Take your time. 🙂