Not everyone can keep secrets.
Perhaps you have heard the story of the three pastors who got together to talk. They decided full honesty and transparency was necessary as they talked about what besetting sin they struggled with.
The Baptist pastor admitted he liked to take a drink of wine when he came home at night to relax.
The Methodist pastor admitted he would sometimes watch a movie that was risque’.
The Pentecostal pastor admitted he struggled with gossip.
We may chuckle at that, but unfortunately we don’t have to be talking about pastors to see the difficulty with failing to keep secrets. I read of one musician who put the following words in a song: “Tell me your deep dark secret/ and I will tell you mine/ Is that your deep dark secret?/ Oh well, never mind.”
My very first mentor once told me one of the secrets to longevity in ministry is being able to keep secrets/confidences. He was trying to teach me early on I could avoid a ton of heartache if I learned to keep my trap shut. I finally learned.
Someone trusted me enough to tell me something. I ought to be trustworthy enough to keep it to myself.
How about you? How well do you do in keeping secrets/confidences?
I’m carrying one about a member of my team right now. She doesn’t know I even know. I’ll let her tell me and tell our team in due time.
Best way is when person themselves come out with it.
I rarely get ahold of any juicy gossip. Actually, I always seem to be the last person to know what is going on. But I have known people who took words uttered to them in confidence who then seemed to try to tell as many people as possible. Grrr.
The latter is the one I am particularly concerned with. Consider yourself blessed people don’t come to you. That could very well be a high compliment to your lack of desire to know junk.
Pretty well.
I told Mrs. Johannson that I would never breathe a word that she was unfaithful to her husband.
And so far I have kept that word as best as I know how.
🙂
As a kid I struggled with keeping a secret, but now, I’m resolute and my lips aren’t going to betray anyone or myself in uttering something I said I wouldn’t. Although, I really don’t want to know secrets!
I am pretty tight-lipped these days also Floyd. Unfortunately, I am often the person for certain kinds of secrets.
“Three can keep a secret, if two of them are dead.”
Seriously, secrets can be deadly. They will eat you alive from the inside out. It seems it is best to live a life without secrets. Dig them out of your heart and purge yourself. Start fresh and clean.
As for the secrets others tell me, I’m an excellent secret keeper. My brain puts told secrets into a box and sets the box on fire. However, I do talk to the person about why it is a secret. If it is a secret, why tell me? When someone tells a secret, there is usually a reason. Maybe they are reaching out for help. Maybe they are trying to do that dig it out and purge thing but are afraid to do it publicly….they are beginning with me. A secret gets told for a reason.
Good thought Roxie. You are right about secrets being deadly. Too many are eaten up inside by them. You reason makes sense about why they share their story with you. In that case, it is good to be the one who can be trusted.
Ditto’s on what Roxie wrote. Sometimes I wish I was not so easy to talk to. I have carried a few secret for over 50 years…and yet I have been guilty of telling secrets, not on purpose but in a multitude of words a slips occurs. My loose lips comes from pride, wanting to be elevated, wanting others to think I am something that someone would confide in me. Understanding the root of gossip has helped me keep my mouth shut many times. Good post brother, made me dig deep.
I think you hit on the right cause for much of our “loose-lipness” Betty: pride. Just sort of adds to this “I am more religious than you” mentality. Thanks for the input.
I’m usually pretty good with keeping information confidential. I do prefer to just not be given the information to begin with though.
Sure is safer not knowing to start with. 🙂
It’s incredible the amount of information people trust with a pastor, but I never felt any need or want to share that information, other than at times I would ask if I could share something with my wife. As a kid, I wanted to know people’s secrets, but as I got older I think I actively avoided it! Meaning that I didn’t try to find out information–it’s just better for people to share when they’re ready. Anyway, interesting discussion, Bill! Thanks.
I’ve noticed the same thing Jason. When young it is almost like a “tell me everything” mentality. As we get older it is almost like we actively avoid it. Good observation. Thanks.
We have a saying in the rooms that “we are only as sick as our secrets”; I suspect most would see the truth of that, and we are told to confess our sins one to another for just that reason. The first of many problems arise when the other decides to broadcast my sins because they have no discretion. I learned the hard way (don’t we all?) that I can and must keep the confidences of others if I expect them to keep mine – and even if they don’t, since I am not able to guarantee or predict the conduct of another. I am responsible for my side of the street alone.
Great post. I am with you 100% with the learning to keep a secret, and stay away from gossip. It seems very difficult for many people to follow that very sound advise.
It takes character and integrity to not share the secrets of what someone tells us. It shows a lot about a person if they do or don’t tell the secret. Though there are some cases, like working with youth, where a person (I’ve had to) tell a secret that the youth shared with me due to the potential of self-harm.