I mentioned in this post that OVCF would be hosting a Grief Recovery Weekend called “From Mourning to Joy.” We had several reasons for hosting this type of weekend.
One, there are so many hurting people in Owen County (just like every where else).
Two, a new small group ministry is beginning in Spencer called GriefShare. OVCF is serving as the umbrella for the group, but it is meeting somewhere else.
Several points were highlighted with regularity and I thought I might share them with you and say a few words about each one.
1. Grief knows no bounds. That is a given. We focused primarily on death, in particularly death of a child and spouse. We left out, to my chagrin, death of a parent. I hope to remedy that next year if we do this again.
2. Grief is not limited to death. Again, I failed to really address this in the event and the publicity. Divorce is a grieving situation for many. Joblessness. Failing business. Runaway children/spouse. I’m not sure how to address all these life-changing events, but hope to do so somehow.
3. There are certain things to say and not to say. I could go on and on about this. Maybe in a future post I will.
4. It was an emotionally draining weekend. We did a Friday night and Saturday (9-2:00). That may have been too long. I was wiped out (and still am to some degree). My anti-draining activity? Since I didn’t have to preach Jo & I went to Captain America. Yowzer! 😀
5. Grieving is never over. Everyone who spoke made sure this point was made. You still gotta move on though and not be paralyzed.
I honestly believe people were helped and given some hope. That is all we can ask for. Now for God to continue growing the seed of hope placed inside them.
Too all of you who read my post and said you would pray: Thanks. I believe your prayers were answered.
Any thoughts on what I wrote?
Bill, we are meeting tomorrow for the second time with a couple who spent years in France as missionaries. Their ministry came to an abrupt halt and they tried to pick up somewhere else, it fell through. So they are home now and both are grieving in different ways. We have been talking to them about going back to France and getting some closure.
It took a friend who is a social worker for Hospice to help me recognize I was grieving over my mother having to be in a nursing home. I thought I was just feeling guilty. Somehow being able to name it helped me to prepare for it when I go see her.
Because missionaries and their children are always moving there is a lot of grief to deal with. Your points were good, lots of good books out there on this. Like any emotion the more we understand it the easier it is to get help for. Good post Bill.
Perfect example, Betty, of grief other than death of a person. Thanks for sharing those examples. Thanks for being available to God.
Bill there is something very special about a person who steps up to lend assistance to a grieving person not because they expect anything in return but because they care and have a tender heart. I have known a few people along the way who made a big impact in pulling me back from the edge.
Powerful words Daniel. And I, too, am grateful for those people who helped pull you back from the edge. I most likely would never have gotten to know you.
A timely post, Bill. Our family is grieving a tragic situation that transpired last week in the family of a college friend. There are so many unanswered questions and future consequences for what happened. We must rely on the hope that God can work wonders through the junk of our lives and that He is there even when life doesn’t make sense.
Thanks Jon. I think the unanswered questions are tougher to deal with at times than the “we knew they were dying” kind. That hope is so essential.
That’s awesome. Glad folks were helped.
Sure am praying that to be true. Only time will tell I suspect.
I like investments that pay dividends. I suspect this one will whether you know when or where or not. Good luck on the efforts.
That is a good thought Jeff…looking at it as an investment. Who knows how it will turn out. Thanks.
Glad it went well and prayers were answered. I think it’s great to give it a platform that others can use to help their own grief. We all get a turn, this isn’t the Garden of Eden.
You were one of those who committed to praying Floyd. I am grateful. Thanks. And you are right…it is not the Garden.
Sounds interesting. It might be worthwhile for me to attend the next (future) session. 🙂
Love to have you Ed but Las Vegas and Spencer are world’s apart. 🙂
I don’t think it was too long, Bill. It was just the right amount of time for me to deal with some emotions I was going through that weekend. It is very true that grief is not limited to death. The story told by Dirk and Susan (names?) resonated VERY strongly with me, as you can imagine (my own daughter having cancer at age 3). While they lost their child, mine lived. I should feel wonderful, right? But actually, I suffered through a death. I lost a host of things: innocence, confidence, dreams, etc. I used to be supermom, able to fix the greatest of boo-boo’s with a band-aid and a kiss. Our lives were normal, expected, filled with dreams. In the blink of an eye, everything changed. I had no control. I couldn’t fix it. My daughter could die, and there wasn’t one single thing I could do about it. (“Mommy, if I have to go live in heaven with Jesus, will you go with me?”) And the grief sneaks up on me and jabs me every so often. I cry buckets at special events….events that at one time I was certain we would never get to experience (singing a solo in the choir, graduation, prom night, etc.). I feel an intense stabbing in my heart when something happens to plunge me back in time….as the speakers mentioned, it might be a smell, something someone said, a song, a food, the tiniest of things. This past weekend, I was in that dark place again. The grief was washing over me anew, and my heart was aching. During the singing I really lost it. I spent the night working it out with God that, if he called us to face that dragon again, I would do my best. I trust my God to not lead me to anything He cannot lead me through. Sorry I got a little winded here. It was a good weekend, a great start to something that can only grow and get better, reaching more people and healing their hearts.
I am grateful you took the time to write such a long comment Roxie. I knew you were dealing with stuff. (Yeah i was watching). I know the subject of childhood cancer hit home to you. It is easy for “survivor’s guilt” to be a common visitor. I would say God has a plan for Elizabeth. I’m glad this week helped you face your dragon again. (And it is Sherry). 🙂 Glad it was a good weekend.