Floyd’sSecondChance

Written by cycleguy on May 19th, 2014

If you have been following my blog you know I have been doing a series on Second Chances. Rather than put a whole series of links to direct you to each story, I’ll just ask you to go to this post where all but today’s can be linked from.  Today’s post is from someone who has rapidly become one of my dearest “friends” via the internet. We have never met in person, but we have spent plenty of time burning up the internet in comments and personal emails. There is no doubt in my mind that if we were to meet it would be as if we had known each other all our lives. Floyd blogs at www.theregoi.com. If you haven’t been reading his you need to. (That’ll cost you Floyd for me saying that). Here’s Floyd writing about his Second Chance.

MOUNT PRIDE

You hear things, can memorize them, think you truly get the meaning behind the words, and still be found weighed, measured, and severely wanting. No wonder Solomon told us wisdom is more valuable than gold or silver.

It’s the things we can’t see, like wisdom, that end up being the most expensive item on the menu, the invisible one that is.

“Pride goeth before a fall’, young man!” I heard more than once.

I thought to myself, “Yeah, yeah, ‘tis better to give than to receive’ – I know – I know, I’ve heard em’ all.”

I knew the lingo, even learned how to act, how to play the part. I really did want to do right, be good, have my talk match my walk. False humility might get you an Oscar, but it can’t begin to crack the code for character.

People with a lot of pride tend to justify their actions, even use some Bible stories to back them up, I know I’m one of them. Folks with all that pride are really just hiding their immense insecurity, wanting others to think much of them.

Around twenty years ago, I was paying a few laborers cash, the street term is “under the table”. It was easy enough to justify, I called it “survival” at the time. A few years later when the IRS came knockin’, they dug up things I thought we’d done by the book. I even had a seasoned bookkeeper swear to it, but that didn’t carry as much weight as a feather with the government.

I thought I was doing pretty well, on my way, my ego was well fed and my pride plump. What I had defined who I was… That’s an ugly trait and contrary to all I knew and had learned, or thought I’d learned. Memorizing isn’t learning – understanding is wisdom.

All that I had was suddenly gone. All that I valued was being taken from me. How I defined myself stripped from me. My pride poured out of me like water into a filthy tan and threadbare carpet that covered the floor in a one bedroom apartment.

I was in the middle of a divorce, lonely, and finally at the end of myself.

“Okay, Father… I surrender… I lay down my pride… Give me strength to move on in humility from my failure,” I mumbled over and over, face down in someone else’s carpet.

The events of the following months after, are nothing short of miraculous in more ways than monetary. The price of the wisdom I’ve gained, I can truly share, is worth more than any amount of money I might ever get my hands on.

And while I struggle with pride as my weakness, I’ll never again be that person who defines myself by what I have. I define myself by Who I serve. I’m reminded of that in many ways, one of which was written for folks like me, “Pride goes before a fall.”

I have this sneaking suspicion Floyd is not alone. Well…at least I would have to stand (or is that be face down) with him.

 Any comments you would like to make?

 

 

 

58 Comments so far ↓

  1. Betty Draper says:

    Floyd, I understand now why you kept telling me our son Jared reminded you of yourself. Pride is a heavy thing to carry, day in day out, it weighs one down till you have to fall and thank God for the fall. I sense no pride in your writing, only a man bent on serving the one who met him on that threadbare carpet. God is never picky where He meets us…He’ll come to our lowest place and lift us up with His love and grace. Thanks for a peek into your second chance.

    By the way Bill you and Floyd were the first male written blogs I started following along with several women. From both your blogs I have met some incredible people who also pour themselves out with words that encouraged. It’s an honor to follow you two men of God I love to call brother.

    • cycleguy says:

      Floyd has a “realness” to his writing Betty which I like. I am so glad he learned. 🙂 As for the last comment: I am honored and humbled you stop by and feel as thought I pour some good stuff into your life. thanks so much.

    • floyd says:

      Only He who makes them strong can break the strong. It’s taken me a long time to realize how ugly that pride can be. Likewise, I’ve learned that the only way to know and draw nigh unto our Father is in humility.

      I’m honored to be a part of you and your family’s life, Betty. You’re a blessing to me and mine as well, and you’re a wonderful sister to all of us. Blessings to you, Ace, and the whole family. Thanks from the bottom of my heart, Betty.

  2. Daniel says:

    I definitely have had my share of battles with pride. Slowly, I am learning, but I need regular reminders. Thanks for sharing.

  3. Pride is, I think, the source of most of our sin and problems. Good to know more about Floyd.

  4. Lisa notes says:

    “False humility might get you an Oscar, but it can’t begin to crack the code for character.”

    A classic Floyd-ism right there. 🙂 Love it.

    But this post hurts because I know I still have too much pride, and it needs to go. Just this morning I was listening to a well-known preacher explain exactly what scripture means, and his pride made me so angry. It was another red flag that pride itself is still a burning issue for me, too.

    Floyd, you’ve been a great example and teacher of humility to me. Thank you, brother. And thank you, Bill, for highlighting him here. You guys both rock!

    • floyd says:

      I always appreciate your kind words and soft heart, Lisa. For me this is a life long battle, where my nail bends so to speak, but I know for sure searching for our Father’s will and His heart without humility is like looking for a needle in a haystack the size of Texas.

      You’re not alone, Lisa. Thanks for being you, sister.

      • cycleguy says:

        Thanks for coming by Lisa. I have been honored to have Floyd and all the others take part in this. If a book had not already been written and a movement already started, I would include their stories in one. 🙂 As a pastor, i know I can struggle with pride, even when teaching the Scripture. Thanks for the kind words.

  5. Meekly Seeking says:

    Wow, Floyd. The hidden sins are the ones that sometimes kill us most. Probably because we can even fool ourselves for a time. Then we wake up to all the backlash and must figure out how to hide that also.

    Thank you for sharing that so openly. Hopefully we can learn from your lessons and dig out any pride or other hidden things that are separating us from God. I know there are times that I’m deep in it myself.

    Thank you again for choosing to be so transparent to people who would otherwise have never known.

    • floyd says:

      Great point about the hidden sins. We all have something or a group of somethings I think. It was a tough one to write, but Bill is pretty persuasive. Looking at situations in the world or in others is fairly easy, looking at the content of our heart is another. I’ve learned though that pride is the biggest obstacle between God and us. I’m just trying to make sure that wall of pride is broken for good. Thanks so much for the kind and encouraging words.

      • cycleguy says:

        You are right MS (and Floyd). It is those we think we are getting away with that conquer us so easily. I appreciate Floyd’s candor.

  6. Nancy says:

    Yep, “The Fall, The Tough Times, The Unconsolable Losses” have a way of showing us our true treasures and how truly blessed we have been. Thank you, Lord, for these reminders….but I’m going to strive to go in the way you want me to go so you won’t have to remind me…

  7. floyd says:

    Wow. Profoundly wise words, Nancy. Funny how the tough times become our nuggets of wisdom that the worth is so valuable that it’s worth can’t be calculated in numbers. I’m praying to be wise enough to not have to be reminded. Wonderful words! Thank you, Nancy.

    • Nancy says:

      Thanks, Floyd. I’ve become an expert on ” why me, why now, God.” I get so bogged down, I can’t see the Forest for the trees… Guilty of looking down and not realizing I am on a journey because He wants me to rely on Him. It seems like a perpetual situation. I think everything is going good , then, voila, I get a jolt and I make a royal mess of fixing it myself. (I need to learn to skip the last step but it happens so instantaneously, after all, I am so capable…) God looks down and reminds me, once again, He is in control. Am I going to remember to ask for His help first next time? I surely hope so… Humble usually doesn’t visit until after the fall…

      • floyd says:

        You’re not alone, Nancy. Funny how that landing knocks the pride right out of us. I appreciate your prose and wisdom, “Humble usually doesn’t visit until after the fall.” Those are wise and inspiring words, Nancy. I sense a post in there somewhere!

  8. Kari Scare says:

    Do you find that God “reminds” you from whence you came? In other words, does He allow you to feel the sting of that time in your life to keep you from going there again? Or, do you not need it?

    • cycleguy says:

      Floyd emailed me that his site is down so he may be late in answering Kari. So I will on my own. I find the gentle and some not-so reminders are needed from time to time. “lest I forget…” I’m okay with that honestly. I know my nature. 🙂

      • Kari Scare says:

        Me too. He lets me know when I’m getting a bit out of alignment. I’m grateful that it happens early on, so I can stop a full fledge plummet from happening.

    • floyd says:

      Great question, Kari. I think you could say that I am the living stones, a monument set up specifically to remember. Funny how the most difficult times in our lives end up being the most beneficial. If it weren’t for that time of trial, I wouldn’t be the person I am today. Yes. I remember it in vivid detail, but even more importantly, I remember His grace and redemption. I always appreciate your sharp mind, sister!

      • Kari Scare says:

        Difficult times definitely bring us tremendous benefit. We’ve sort of trained God that they work best for getting our attention and for perfecting us, haven’t we? Times of struggle have made me who I am today as well, and I am also thankful for the hope He continually renews in me for victory. Back at ya, Floyd!

        • floyd says:

          Indeed we have… Wish it were easier, but He already knows us better than we know ourselves. “Renews in me for victory.” Well said, Kari.

  9. Thanks for the honesty my brother, methinks we have both needed a case of humble pies to chew on, but the grace of God was there to meet us and change our hearts.

    “A proud man is always looking down on things and people; and, of course, as long as you are looking down, you cannot see something that is above you.” – C.S. Lewis

    • cycleguy says:

      I’m tracking with you and Floyd Jay. So grateful for the grace of God in my life. Love the quote. Thanks for commenting.

    • floyd says:

      Oh yeah, I’m a humble pie expert, Jay! Love that quote by Lewis, a good reminder that the foot of the cross is level. Thanks, Jay!

  10. TC Avey says:

    Thanks for your honesty, Floyd. Since you and I share a brain, it’s no surprise to you that I’ve experienced the sting of pride more than once. It’s lead to Psalm 119:71 being one of my favorite verses, “It’s good that I have been afflicted that I may learn your statues.”
    My afflictions have all too often been self inflicted- rooted in my pride. It’s teaching me how valuable God’s word is.

    • cycleguy says:

      Must be a three-headed brain then TC. 🙂 I have this “fondness’ for pride also.

    • floyd says:

      If we were in a boat right now we might be in trouble of overloading it!

      That’s an awesome verse, TC. I hadn’t even thought of that one. Excellent scripture for this lesson… and all the other ones that are so hauntingly familiar!

      And no… I’m not surprised. We could finish one another’s sentences! Thanks, TC.

  11. Rick Dawson says:

    Adding superlatives to an already overcrowded boat? Not going to happen, but Floyd? I’m grateful to God you are become the son He wanted you to be, else we might never have met – online or no.

    Good post, my friend.

  12. Lynn D. Morrissey says:

    You have said it all, Floyd, and which of us hasn’t fallen flat on his prideful face? I recall in writing a book, where I thought I had turned in a perfect ms, and a good editor sent it back redlined. We all need to humble ourselves before God and others. That’s when He can work with us. And I can’t help but thinking about the prodigal son, and how his father welcomed him with open arms after REALLY blowing it. God is so much more generous and forgiving than he. How I thank Him for the many new beginnings He’s given me. Thanks for sharing! Important post!
    Lynn

    • cycleguy says:

      Humble pie is not easy to swallow Lynn. but as you state there is something which comes from thanking Him for the many new beginnings. Thanks for stopping by to comment on Floyd’s post.

      • Lynn D. Morrissey says:

        Thanks, Cycle Guy! (And your name is?) I’ve seen your gravatar over at Floyd’s. So nice to make your acquaintance. And I can’t tell you how many times I’ve almost choked on that pie before swallowing it. Oh my!
        Lynn

    • floyd says:

      Thanks, Lynn. I can say first hand, as your friend and brother, you practice what you preach, sister, and that’s refreshing and encouraging!

  13. Barb says:

    Thanks for sharing that, Floyd. Isn’t it brilliant and wonderful how God takes those hard times in our lives and uses them not only for our own good, but also the good of others?

    I struggled with pride in grade school and on and off through life, but mostly I’ve struggled with insecurity. It seems like the two go hand in hand because they’re flip sides of the coin that sees ourselves as who we are in the world’s eyes.

    I’m with you – the more I define myself by who I am in God’s eyes, the better off I am.

    • cycleguy says:

      Well said Barb. That last line is worth its weight in gold. Thanks for stopping by and commenting.

      • floyd says:

        Very well said, Barb. Those two really do go hand in hand and both sides of that coin aren’t pretty! I’ve seen my reflection in both sides more times than I can count! But His grace and wisdom Lights our way. Thanks, Barb.

  14. Ceil says:

    Hi Floyd and Bill! Wow, God sure does take our situations and turn them to a lesson to be more like him. I can just see you in that apartment. At the end of you. (Great phrase, by the way.) So painful.

    That’s the time I really learn, and I think God knows that. I don’t want to fall so hard, but sometimes it’s just the only way. Darn it. But God knows me so well, and will always catch the pieces and put me back together.
    I wished your post wouldn’t end… Always a sign to me of a great job. Thank you!
    Nice to meet you Bill!
    Ceil

    • cycleguy says:

      Nice to have you stop by Ceil. I like that phrase as well (at the end of me).

    • floyd says:

      I like the picture of our Father catching us in His sovereign hand as we fall to pieces… His grace and love always patch us together, and only He can make us better and stronger than we were before. Proof of His Authority over His creation! Thanks for trudging this path of life with us, Ceil. The company is splendid!

  15. Pride is sneaky and deadly. I haven’t experienced it in the same ways you have, but I have seen it work in me and it’s never pretty. Thanks for your honesty and openness, Floyd. I appreciate you immensely and I’m thankful to know you!

    And thanks for sharing this, Bill. 🙂

    • floyd says:

      My brother… you know I think so highly of you and your family. The paths that you and Bill have walked are so much more elevated than the ones I’ve stumbled across, and yet you and Bill can relate in a way that is only and could only be from the heart of our Savior that it lifts all of us higher, including you two. I’m blessed to share a small part of my life with both of you. God has blessed all of us. I pray His blessings on all of you. Thanks so much, Jason.

  16. Floyd knows how to get to the heart! We all have pride, some of us just won’t admit it. Thankful for people like Floyd who will not only admit it but put it out there for the rest of us to learn by. Blessings!

    • floyd says:

      You’re a breath of fresh air, sister. How easy it would be for you to point a finger and make judgments, but you see all lives from the perspective of our Savior.

      God bless you and the Sweetheart, (you have to visit Nannette’s site to find out who that is!) as well as all your family, sister. Thanks, Nannette.

  17. Sharon says:

    Floyd, another great post, with gritty Truth. Pride can take a lot of forms, in my opinion. Yeah, there’s the boastful egomaniacs, but I have also found more subtle forms of pride within myself. In some ways, I think my worrying is a form of pride – in that I must feel in some way that I want control over life, when in fact it is the Lord who sits on the throne. I also think putting ourselves down all the time can be a form of pride – in that we are focusing on our selves, and our inabilities and shortcomings, instead of on our saved state of grace and His power.

    There was a time when I could not forgive myself for wandering from the Lord. I was consumed with guilt. Finally I realized that that, too, was also a form of pride. As long as I stared at my guilt, I was not accepting the Lord’s forgiveness. My self-judgment was more important than His grace. Finally let go of that.

    I don’t want to fall. So I’m working on the pride!

    GOD BLESS!

    • floyd says:

      Very profound thoughts, Sharon. It’s easy to tell when someone had given much thought to a particular subject, as well as seeing and or hearing the wisdom from our Father in their words.

      It all starts with self, the sin of selfishness, and only goes south from there! Thanks for sharing those thought provoking observations, Sharon. God bless you and yours too, sister.

      • cycleguy says:

        The boastful egomaniacs are easy to spot. It is those who aren’t so “out there” that have trouble admitting their pride. Agree with your assessment that failing to forgive is a form of pride. Thanks for coming by Sharon and commenting.

  18. Got me thinkin’ as usual. So much adjusting takes place, in our viewage, our heart, and our service to the Lord and to plain old family and friends and national stuff. Only the Lord can keep us moving the right direction. Hope I read this right, Brother, b/c my brain ain’t working significantly right now, but I shared what grabbed me. Bless you.