I have received a few “Fs” in my career. Mostly in high school and they always had something to do with Math. Math and I were never, never, NEVER close friends. Still aren’t to this day. Algebra. Geometry. Trig. Chemistry. Anything that has anything at all to do with math was considered anathema to me. I hated failure but there were just some things I was never able to grasp.
And in case you didn’t know it…math was one of those things. 🙂
But failure comes in all sizes, shapes, and colors. It is not just a grade on a card or test. It is relationships. It is career. It is sports. It is building maintenance (I don’t do so well with that either).
Failure dogs many of us. Some have risen above it. Some (many) have not. Their whole life seems to be one failure after another in their eyes. While some people have the “Midas touch,” others have the slush touch.
My daughter, Tami, had a link to an article on her FB page and Jo told me about it. I asked Tami to send it to me and after reading it I thought it would be good to share with you. It is sort of long so you will need a few minutes…but it is a few minutes well worth your time.
Here is the link to the article by Jennifer Dukes Lee. If you have a few moments, please read it. Then I would love to hear you comments when you come back here.
For you it was math, for me it was relationships with people. Actually, I wish I could use the past tense and be done with it, but the truth is, that I will have trouble with relationships until I leave this earth.
I will have trouble with math until I leave this earth.
So glad He approves us when there is no reason for Him to other than His grace.
Can’t add anything to this Larry. You are right on.
I read the article. I love the spirit, intention, and basic message of the article. But surprisingly, I also have a part of me that is not in full agreement with its message. The reason for this conflicting view is from what God has done in me over the past four years. Four years ago, the first thing God broke me free from, slowly and steadily, was my need for approval from others. But this past year, God has shown me my unhealthy desire for His approval. I had a fear of being wrong, not obeying the Bible, and thus “earning” His disapproval/disappointment. The problem with my thinking, as God eventually showed me, is that it was based on an incorrect view of who He is. Deep down in my heart, God was a stern cop who gave me a ticket when I got even a little bit off the road, despite all of my best efforts for staying on the road (following all the rules). This was fleshly effort and EXHAUSTING! Then I read two books, The Shack and He Loves Me, and subsequently, God taught me in a dream. All these things coalesced and I realized in my heart, “Wow. He loves me. I’m His son. He loves me just as I am. I don’t need to earn His approval.” So I guess this is my long way of saying that I see a trap in seeking God’s approval IF we have a wrong understanding in our hearts of who God is. Thanks for the opportunity to chime in. I hope I wasn’t too antagonistic.
Not too. I allow diverse views. Besides, the general thought of your article is true. We can’t earn God’s approval. That is a fallacy many have, therefore, they strive for His approval. He loves me no matter what. And knowing or understanding God better goes a long way toward alleviating that pressure. Thanks Steve.
At times I actually glory in the fact that I am a failure when it comes to doing the things that He demands.
After all…He came for the ungodly.
If I were capable…then I wouldn’t need Him.
So true Stephen. It is in my weakness that I realize how much I need Him and His grace becomes sufficient.
Wow. That was a great read indeed. You know, it’s just so easy to play the compare/contrast game. Always looking at someone else’s *greener grass* and feeling like we’re coming up short. It’s hard living with that nagging feeling that we’re not enough, that we’re somehow letting people down, that we’re failing at whatever it is we’re supposed to be or do.
But God sees us differently. This verse (1 Samuel 16:7, NLT):
“The LORD doesn’t see things the way you see them. People judge by outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart.”
And when God looks at we believers, He sees us through the blood of Christ. Isn’t that wonderful?! We may not be worthy of His grace, but He deemed us worthwhile. His opinion is all that should count.
I live for the day when I might hear, “Well done, good and faithful servant.”
All the other negative chatter arises from the father of lies!
GOD BLESS!
True about the negative chatter and where it comes from Sharon. You are also right in saying we get caught up in the compare/contrast game. My only check on what you said was “I might hear.” I would say, “I will hear.” 🙂 Thanks again for dropping by.
Thanks, Bill, for helping me this morning with the comment problem. I hope it’s fixed now!
It is.
I don’t know where you meet so many people that consider themselves failures, are down on themselves, or feel they need some sort of justification from others or an invisible deity. I don’t think it is at all important what others think of me. If it is positive that is good and if it is negative they are wrong minded. I definitely don’t consider some sort of Godly approval as having any meaning. The most important thought is not how others think or how God thinks but rather how we think about ourselves.
Most all of the people I know are positive thinkers that don’t rely on some third party approval(real or imaginary) to justify themselves.
Maybe that is why I find Theism such a negative.
The only thing I know to say Jeff is I get around. I talk to a lot of people and I think they feel comfortable with being honest with me. I think part of the problem is what you picked up on: people have a lousy view of themselves and it is often tied to their theism. Their view of God’s love and acceptance is skewed. Mine was for years until I realized I could do nothing to earn His praise nor justify myself. That one truth changed everything. As always though I do thank you for your insightful comment.
I think many of us have a self-seeking and competitive spirit in us – I know I am one such person. Keeping up with the rankings and the grades and the feeling of accomplishment is just in my nature. So I’ve had to fight this struggle again and again. I can very much understand and agree with her article.
I would love it if Jeff would read your comment Loren. You can see what he said and how I tried to answer him. That competitive spirit stayed way too long in me as well.