Truthfulness

Written by cycleguy on January 27th, 2015

thefi5thgospel

One of the hardest things (least I think so) is to hear the truth about yourself. Especially if it particularly not on the “good side.”

No husband or wife likes to hear he/she is failing their mate.

No parent likes to hear they are “the reason for their child’s misbehavior.”  (Although granted that is sometimes a cop out).

No pastor likes to hear he bombed on Sunday or he is not connecting with the people.

No boss likes to hear he does not have the respect of his coworkers.

The list goes on and on. Oh yeah…no church likes to hear it is failing in its mission. Transparency is hard. That is why the statement credited to Ghandi is so difficult to hear:

I like your Christ. I do not like your Christians. Your Christians are so unlike your Christ.

No matter if said years ago or just yesterday, those are not easy words. I know some people who would say the same thing. And maybe…maybe…that is not all bad. As Bobby points out: “They matter because they tell us how we are representing God and communicating His message.” (p.37). I can’t disagree with that. How are we ever going to know how well we are representing Jesus if no one is honest with us? As Bobby also states: “Plainly stated, some people resist Christ because…well, they know some Christians.” (p.39) (That is called a zinger).

This raises a great talking point and is also a good stopping point. Do you have someone who will be honest with you about your walk? Do you agree with Ghandi and why?

There is so much in this chapter that I have decided to do Chapter 2-Take 2 next week.

 

26 Comments so far ↓

  1. Betty Draper says:

    Loved this quote…Christianty is not a philosophy to be argued but a Person to be known. Finding areas of disagreement really isn’t much of a challenge, is it? The real challenge is to build bridges, not walls. Well said, well said. I am challenged.

    I do have someone who is honest with me even when it hurts, my husband, that man loves me. and even though I get so mad at times, I love him.

    Gonna be a conviction book…thanks for bringing this to my attention.

  2. that quote always bothers me.

  3. Daniel says:

    Strong is the person who can take criticism and make something positive out of it. Too often when I am criticized, I turn defensive and feel the need to fight back. I think criticism is hard to hear from others because it is often accompanied by strong emotions and stress. We need to work our way through this morass and see ourselves as others see us.

    • Nancy says:

      I agree Daniel. Our generation was taught that failure is failure, not a learning experience. It has to be someone else’s fault if we fail so shame won’t fall on us or our families. I remember the few test questions from school that I missed… And the answers! I don’t know if I remember all the answers I memorized for the test. We learn from our difficult moments…we become stronger…

      • cycleguy says:

        Have to agree with both of you. It is not easy hearing about “soft” spots in our armor and where we need to improve. Even criticism done in love by someone we know who loves us is not easy to take. But necessary.

  4. the Old Adam says:

    Each and every Sunday our pastor lets us all have it (God’s law)…and in that measuring stick, we are all cut off at the knees. No left left standing. Except Jesus.

    And then the pastor announces the good news. That Christ came for the ungodly.

    The godly don’t need a Savior.

  5. Jeff says:

    I don’t know about my walk but yea I know people that will give me their honest opinion if I ask. I think Ghandi is accurate as far as a lot of Christians are concerned. My thoughts about Jesus have nothing to do with the Christians I know. I don’t think Christians as a group are any different than any other group. Some good, some bad, some not too bright, some bright enough, some weird, some jerks, some ok some not ok. The fact that they say they are Christians really doesn’t seem to make any difference in how they are or how they act.

    • cycleguy says:

      You are right, of course, Jeff. People are people and there are all kinds. Sort of like there are good whites and good blacks. There are bad on both sides of the equation as well. What upsets me is the truth of your last statement. There really should be a difference.

  6. It’s rare as hen’s teeth to find another soul who can speak the truth with tender love and genuine grace.

    And maybe rarer still to find one who is truly willing to heed their wise words without defensiveness or excuses.

  7. Nancy says:

    I love this quote of Ghandi’s! It is so true about many Christians and the non-Christians’ judgements about us. As with our children, they seem to learn what we do, not what we say. As non-Christians they see what we do doesn’t always match up with what we say. After all we are imperfect humans and Christians are expected to be perfect but we fall short also. We need to be Christ like in our actions, our thoughts and our words . Honey and sincerity do gather more flies/believers. Love one another…

    • cycleguy says:

      True Nancy. Because we are judged and people make judgments based on our actions rather than our words, we do fail. I know it is a hard “ruler” to be judged by but it is true nonetheless.

  8. Ceil says:

    Hi Bill! Ouch, that Ghandi quote stung.

    But I have to say that it has some validity. My sister left our church tradition because she said “It’s not welcoming.” She is now attending another Christian denomination.
    It really hurts to hear something like this. Christ welcomed EVERYONE, even Judas. Why can’t we seem to get that message? A church is not a fraternity or sorority, it should be a refuge, a solace, an encouragement. She gave me a lot to think about. And so did you.
    Blessings,
    Ceil

    • cycleguy says:

      First, I pound my toes every time I hear or read that quote Ceil. Second, I feel really bad about your sister. I don’t know what denomination you are involved in, but sadly that is true. The pendulum can also swing the other way as well and be too inclusive. I agree about your picture of what the church should be.

  9. I heard this quote from Ghandi many years ago, and it cut me to the quick. Truly, I stopped right then and there and took stock of my own Christian walk. Was I shining the light of Christ to others, or hiding my light under a basket? I wonder what India would look like now had Ghandi seen Christians walking the walk, not just talking the talk.
    Blessings, Bill!

  10. floyd says:

    Ouch… We all fail and I think that often the world expects Christians to be perfect, which I quickly point out, if given the chance, that there’s zero chance of any of us accomplishing that.

    With that said however, I do think the biggest problem with the church is hypocrisy. Believing that the lost world should know and play by the rules of those of us that know the Truth is like expecting a duck to talk because he’s handed a microphone…

    • cycleguy says:

      I think I gotta agree with you on the hypocrisy thought Floyd. Too many not backing up their words with actions. I (sometimes) are one. How does a duck hold a microphone?

  11. I think close accountability is so important – people who can help you see yourself. But I don’t think those people should be unbelievers. When a lot of people say they like Christ but not Christians, it’s really just them saying that Christians don’t live up to their unrealistic and often worldly expectations.

    • cycleguy says:

      I agree about accountability needing to be a follower of Christ. Least for me it is important. i can have friends who aren’t, but for truth I want a follower. Unrealistic expectations is a problem.

  12. Jacci says:

    This is a good post. I like it because it is short (just kidding, well kinda :)).

    I think it is important for your spouse to be that honest person for you and if you are young, your parents. People are so worried about hurting their kids feelings that they don’t want to play the parent role. I let my kids know what they are good at, but I am also the first to point out their flaws. Andy is always the first to let me know that I might not be on the right path. Honestly, if it wasn’t for him and keeping me grounded…well, I won’t give him too big of a head if he happens to read this :).