Answers???

Written by cycleguy on February 18th, 2015

Over the past few weeks I have expressed here and here that I feel God is calling me to draw near to Him. One of my readers commented saying:

“God calling me to a time of drawing near to Him” is a totally foreign concept to me. What is it you are waiting on? What do you expect to happen that would end the wait? ”

To be honest: those are very fair questions.

And to be equally honest: I’m not sure I have the answers to them.

It is harder to explain to one who does not share my faith (which he readily admits he doesn’t). But please don’t take that as a slam. I know he won’t. I have often written about using Christianese in our speech-using words and phrases only an “insider” would know. So, yes, it would be a foreign concept to him since he has no idea what I mean.

However, his questions are valid. Very much so. Some of the answers I am waiting for involve the church. Some involve me personally. Some involve my ministry.

The church is in need of some space but we have chosen not to add to our mortgage and finance a huge debt. We want to pay off what we owe first. But it may take awhile since we are not a rich church by any stretch. What to do in the meantime…besides wait?

My wife is retired and that means a change in income. Which also means a change in ability to help. It bugs me I can’t do what I used to be able to do. Some other personal things as well.

Am I leading as i should? Am I setting the example of forward thinking? Am I setting an example of seeking after God? Of being a grace-giving person?

I just know the approach I was taking was not getting me anywhere. I wrote this on February 9th in my Moleskine: “Father, I’m not really sure what is happening in me. I should but I don’t. I don’t know if it is a call from you to realign my priorities better. I’m not sure if you are preparing me for a major life change…I want You more alive in me. I want You to burn in me so I can burn into others. I want to be a world-changer, even if my world is only Spencer or my family or OVCF…You could be using me in a way I never thought…You could be planning to rock my world in a not-so-good way. I don’t know. I just want to be prepared spiritually.So prepare me please. Show me my next step/door. Let me be willing to walk through it, to walk where Your hand leads. My steps are ordered by You.”

I’m not sure I answered Jeff’s questions because I’m not sure I have the answers. But this sort of touches on what I am talking about and what I am asking prayer for.

Got any thoughts?

I apologize for the long post. I try to keep them between 100-250 words. I’ve gone way over that. If you stayed with me, thanks. 🙂

And if you are from OVCF and reading this: this DOES NOT mean I am leaving, planning to leave or want to leave. So don’t even go there. 😉

 

35 Comments so far ↓

  1. Daniel says:

    I love this post as it shows your heart and your passion and how you want to live. But mostly it shows your priorities. God bless.

  2. Tami Grandi says:

    Maybe it’s just the change that’s going to happen when I move back home for a while and God has me teaching you patience 😉 LOL (just kidding of course)- as you know this is very much where I am so I love reading this

  3. floyd says:

    As usual your honesty is welcome and refreshing.

    The lost world thinks that they are “the gods” of their world. Even if they don’t believe that is their world view… they prove otherwise by believing that they can save their soul or “preach” their way into a heaven that only exists in their imagination…

  4. I think we sense these times and, like Jeff asked, we wonder why we have to wait. Why not just get to it? But you know, it was about 14 years from the time Paul was called until he really started his known ministry.

  5. Steve says:

    My brother in Christ, on 11/9/2014, I had a dream from God and you were in it. This morning God woke me up earlier than normal. During my quiet time with Him, I felt pretty certain that he wanted me to share this dream with you (and the other guys)on our upcoming trip next week. I don’t know if it will encourage you, but I know it did me…and it’s full meaning is still being revealed. Know this: You are an instrument in His hand!!!

    God bless. Much love to ya.

  6. Jeff says:

    I think this is probably as good an answer as there is. I too have times when I sense a change coming or a need for change. I want to do a couple home improvements but not sure I want to spend the money. I like my job but at my age I know that is going to change. I am in great health but again I know that is going to change. I guess we just have a different approach to dealing with these kind of things. I can’t imagine thinking a supernatural invisible entity is in any way involved in working through the changes. I am just not wired that way. Nothing wrong with it for someone else though. If it helps a person cope or gives them some hope I say go for it.
    As for Floyds comment concerning my membership in the lost world I must say I don’t think I am God. I also don’t think I have a soul that needs saved and have no interest in taking the Glory ride to the Christian heaven. I think the “lost world” considers all of that just a fairy tale that isn’t worth the time think about.

    • cycleguy says:

      As I made mention in the post, Jeff, we are on opposite sides of the faith issue. but I appreciate your candor. That, of course, also means I agree with Floyd. 🙂

  7. Often I will ask one of my kids to come here just because I want to love on them. I think this is the Father’s way, to draw us close so we slow down and allow His love to wash over us. Our faith is energized when we are close allowing us to see the invisible.

    It was by faith that Moses left the land of Egypt, not fearing the king’s anger. He kept right on going because he kept his eyes on the one who is invisible.
    Hebrews 11:27

    The only way I know to keep our eyes on the invisible is to be close enough to touch Him.

    Praying for you!

  8. Some of the best questions have no easy answers.

    And that only gives us cause for pause. Consideration. Reflection. And connection to the One who’ll take us there …

  9. I love what you wrote in your journal, Bill. You are open to God and His grace no matter where He may lead you. I pray with you that when the door appears, you’ll know immediately that it is His doing and step through with faith.
    Blessings!

    • cycleguy says:

      Thanks so much Martha for your prayers. As you can imagine, it isn’t going to hurt having others praying along with me. And I also pray for recognition of the door.

  10. Pam says:

    I love Jay’s take on this! Praying for you, Bill. I think the key word in what you wrote is “prepare”. Asking God to prepare you for whatever may come not only concedes to His will, it says, “I am willing.”

  11. TC Avey says:

    Thank you for sharing such personal information. I think it’s good for people to hear that pastors are human, that they don’t have all the answers, that they struggle.
    Sometimes people put pastors or those in the Bible on a higher level and they don’t realize that they are real people with real struggles…but they are people (like you) who go TO God. That’s key. Going TO God, not trying to figure it out on their own.

    Praying for you, your family, and your church. God bless.

    • cycleguy says:

      I never want to appear “above the fray” so to speak TC. I am human and feel it is not good to cover up weaknesses and struggles. I don’t want to be put on a pedestal. Thanks for your prayers.

  12. Ike says:

    You stated….” I feel God is calling me to draw near to Him.” Doesn’t the bible call all Christ followers to draw near and He will do the same? When Christians meet…they ususally talk to each other about their Christian work and Christian interests…their Christian acquaintances…the state of the churches etc….but rarely of their daily experience of God. And I would say the later is what all Christ followers are called to do…in drawing nearer. And to Jeff’s question…..I don’t see an end. A million years from now we will still be scratching the surface of drawing near to Him. Now maybe I’m not following the your thoughts correctly……which is usually the case with me:-)

    • cycleguy says:

      Yes He does call to draw near but this is a different type. Sometimes there is a need for realignment and only by drawing near can that be seen. There are those who, because they are not followers of Christ (like Jeff), have no use for talk of eternity, heaven, etc. The “end,” of course, is judgment for the lost and eternity in hell.

  13. Deb Wolf says:

    I always wanted to know what to do and get on with it. It’s harder to wait. Especially when I don’t know what I’m waiting on. Good. Not so good. I love your prayer that you will be prepared and willing. Simply to trust and obey.

    I often pray – Lord when you want me to know please make it very clear . . . until then, I will wait on You.

    Blessings and prayers.

    • cycleguy says:

      As you state, waiting is the hard part. The good thing here is I know God has something; it is just “seeing” it when it happens. Good prayer for you to pray Deb. I will also include that.

  14. Gingi says:

    The majority of my friends are non-believers (all of my hobbies and spare time projects somehow land me in the hippy, new age crowd, haha!) so I have found myself steering clear of “Christianese” quite a bit. I try to live out and convey my faith in terms that others can understand. I have seen many come to faith over the years when someone takes the time to speak to them in a way they can understand.. it’s so easy to fall into a club-like lingo that makes others feel left out or like outsiders.. anyhoo, great post. I wish I had something of more substance to share in response, lol! – http://www.domesticgeekgirl.com

    • cycleguy says:

      My world is largely Christ-followers Gingi (as you can guess) so it is easy to allow my language to become to Christianese. I try not to use words or phrases which will turn people off if I am outside the realm of the normal world.

  15. Ceil says:

    Hi Bill! I think you have to trust the voice that calls you closer. In whatever that means. I think the Lord loves empty vessels, the stone water jars, the open hearts…because he wants to fill them.

    You are praying just the right thing. To be an instrument. What more could God ask of you? If the prophets teach anything, it’s that chaos precedes the call. Being consternated and unsure is a prelude to peace and a call.
    Try your best to be patient in the whirlwind. It will end. And you will look back and see what God was doing in the confusion. Because he’s always working, always blessing, always changing.
    You are in a holy time my friend.
    Ceil

    • cycleguy says:

      Thanks for the encouragement Ceil. At this point I have no trouble with patience because I know something is going to happen or break through. But you are right in that I can create a whirlwind.

  16. I understand what you mean. It’s hard to explain what you’re searching for because you’re not sure where He’s leading, but you trust He’s leading. Sounds crazy! But if He’s there and hold out, it will unfold as He promises. My problem is always sticking to His timeline. 🙂 Thanks Bill.

  17. Debbie says:

    I read this and cried. It is so much of what I feel too . ..just wanting to be closer to Him. Needing to be closer to Him. Recently He showed me a house plant I have, that is leaning badly. It needs more potting soil to help it stand up. But, the poor little thing is blooming and happy! And He told me that I am at my best, closest to Him, when I am leaning on Him . . .when I am needing Him. God bless you, Pastor Bill, as you draw close and closer still.