As in “you have a big mouth.”
As in “do you always speak before you think?”
As in “does your mouth always engage before your brain?’
Guilty as charged. Growing up I was not allowed to be “mouthy” towards my parents. I paid the price for doing so. The day I thought I was “too big for my britches” was the day my dad decided a lesson was definitely needed in humility. Yeah…you get the point.
Being an extrovert, I tend to speak first before thinking. As I have gotten older, I have learned to “engage brain before mouth.” I got myself into a lot of hot water by my failure to do so. There is a verse of Scripture I needed to listen and learn: “Set a guard, O Lord, over my mouth; keep watch over the door of my lips!” (Ps.141:3) Reading in Proverbs recently revealed the following:
“A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.” 15:1
“There is one whose rash words are like sword thrusts, but the tongue of the wise brings healing.” 12: 18
There are more, of course. I’m sure I could retire on the interest alone if I had a dollar for every ill-spoken word I have said in my 62 years. But that cycle can stop…and stop it must! Maturity has hopefully given me some wisdom to know when to speak and when to keep my mouth shut. But I know I still speak out of turn.
I plan to explore this strange phenomena of our speech this week. I hope you will join me. Meanwhile, what do you do to curtail your words?
One thing that I have learned when I have to write a potentially charged email is to write it and then let it sit for a while. When I am calmer I can edit it to remove anything inflammatory or incendiary, and just kind of soften the unnecessarily sharp edges and tones.
Wise approach Daniel.
It’s not always hard, being a slight introvert, but I have times where my mouth gets me in trouble.
So it isn’t just extroverts?
It seems like this is more of a female problem. I could be wrong. What do you think?
I think I will stay out of that one. 🙂
When I was younger, this was a real problem for me because I tended to be a bit opinionated (okay, a lot) and words would just fly out of my mouth. I resolved to work on that behavior when something I said really hurt a friend. It was a wake-up call, I can tell you that! Yes, may the Lord always guard what we say aloud and what we write.
Blessings, Bill!
those types of responses to serve as wake up calls Martha. too bad it takes hurting a friend before we wake up. I’m sure things are different now.
From Martha via email: Oh, so VERY different! This happened back in my 20’s before I had a relationship with Jesus. He has been my help and my shield since I accepted Him.
First, I’m an introvert and still struggle with this, especially when emotional. Second, to answer your question, I have learned to be a quieter person in general, especially when in public. If I need to say something, there’s often a more appropriate time to say it than when I first think of it.
You are a wise woman Kari. Waiting to cool off is essential.
I’ve been fortunate enough to learn the importance of thinking before I speak and to make sure I’m not talking to much. It’s saved me a lot of grief and pain (especially as a kid).
I’m better at it than I used to be. Sad it took so long.