My posts generally try to be upbeat and uplifting while still maintaining Biblical integrity, i.e. not getting into the “God-wants-you-to-believe-your-best-life-is-now” scenario. But I’ve been reading a disturbing book, one that has taken me some discipline to sit down and read because of the subject.
That book? A 1987 (yeah you read that right) book called Counseling for Family Abuse and Violence. I certainly can’t summarize it in this small space…nor do I want to.
What is disturbing me? This: wife beating is a persistent fact of history. Yep, read that again. The cycle has been going on for years. Illustrations:
In Roman life the father had absolute right to sell his children as well as the power of life and death over the child. He had the ultimate position of power over all members of the family.
In Greek life the wife and children were also man’s absolute property. The order was father, cattle, mother, children.
In Jewish life the common phrase was, “I thank God that He made me neither a Gentile, a slave, or a woman.” Makes you realize how radical Jesus and the early church’s teachings were on “there is neither slave nor free, male nor female.”
During the Renaissance women were routinely subjugated and physically punished.
The medieval church taught the husband had the right, and sometimes the obligation, to beat his wife.
In the Middle Ages physical punishment was sanctioned.
The Protestant Reformation (Calvin, Luther, Knox, etc) was just as stern as their Catholic contemporaries. It was okay to physically discipline her.
That is just in the first chapter!! Let me go on record: there is absolutely no time, no excuse, and no amount of reasoning where physical, mental, or verbal abuse is ever okay. NEVER!! Some might say, “Whew! Least I don’t hit my wife or children!” But there are other kinds of abuse. Abuse, no matter the kind, is wrong…ALWAYS WRONG! I don’t care if someone has had a bad day. I don’t care if someone is extra tired. I don’t care if everything is going wrong.
THERE IS NEVER AN EXCUSE FOR ABUSE OF ANY KIND, SHAPE OR FORM.
It is time the cycle stopped. If you are an abuser, get help. If you are a victim of abuse, get help. If you know of someone being abused, don’t turn a blind eye.
And, of course, this discussion is not done. Not yet.
Thanks Bill for speaking out against abuse of any kind against women, children and even men for that matter.
you are right, of course, Betty. There is also the other victims to be concerned about.
Amen! So glad to see a pastor putting this right on the table for everyone to see. Check out Leslie Vernick’s book THE EMOTIONALLY DESTRUCTIVE MARRIAGE (and her blog) for lots of solid, biblical guidance on this whole mess.
Preach it, brother …
Gonna have to check that out Linda. Thanks for passing along the info about Leslie’s book and blog. Do you have her blog address to share? Never mind Linda. I googled it and found it. Looks good. I’ve put it in my Feedly list. It is http://www.leslievernick.com for anyone interested.
I like to beat my wife. You know, at games and such. Seriously, I can’t comprehend abusing Jan at all.
I’m with you, except jo doesn’t like to play games, especially when i win. 🙂
Sometimes we get to thinking that because we live in an “enlightened” period, that this sort of belief and this sort of action is not prevalent in our society today.
Agreed Daniel. And that type of thinking is what gives people the right to either turn a blind eye, bury their head in the sand, or simply deny it.
And in some cultures, this horrific treatment of women and children is still sanctioned . . . Abuse of any kind is intolerable, and I pray those abusers and victims will get the help they need.
Blessings, Bill!
Just read today about the unearthing of the graves of trafficked women. When will it ever stop? You are right Martha about it still being sanctioned, even in “civilized” countries.
Thank you for this post. Most of the abuse in my life has been verbal, and I am here to tell you that it is quite as damaging physical abuse. Just as painful in the long run. And totally as difficult to find healing.
You’re welcome Susan. And, of course, you are right about abuse being damaging and painful. I hopefully tried to say that in the post. It is good to hear from you again.
Thank you Bill. I think there are some who continue to believe that the church subjugates women, when Jesus’ truth was so freeing. His message of love rejects any and all kinds of abuse. We must share and live by His truth. Blessings!
Sadly, I know there are churches who still do that. I know women who have been abused by their “church” or their pastors or others in leadership. The message of love must be shared.
THERE IS NEVER AN EXCUSE FOR ABUSE OF ANY KIND, SHAPE OR FORM.
I think we all agree.
I think the man(male)-made religions always present the Godly way as having the male in a dominate position. And beatings in the old holy books was an acceptable method of correction or punishment.
Maybe the Jesus story put a little different spin on things but I don’t think he addressed this issue directly.
This is a discussion and a problem that will never end.
Good to remind everyone of our responsibilities to not being part of the problem.
As for addressing it directly: other than giving time and day to women in a culture that didn’t, he didn’t say much…least what is recorded. But you are right about reminding everyone about our responsibilities.
Absolutely correct, Bill! I remember when my daughter was a teen and it was “cool” to punch guys in the arm “in fun”. We had a very serious discussion very quickly–one never knows when the person you are “kidding” with will take that seriously and you find yourself on the receiving end of something that is far from funny.
Wise words Pam. Sadly, many of the girls who do that still do it and still think it is funny. I see nothing funny at all about it.
Hey Bill … you won that Michael W. Smith CD!
http://creeksideministries.blogspot.com/2015/05/a-michael-w-smith-giveaway.html
Please email me your address – lindastoll@juno.com!
Congrats!
Thanks and I did. 🙂