I’ve been reading #Struggles by Craig Groeschel and in a chapter on Compassion he includes this quote:
Compassion is the knowledge that there can never really be any peace and joy for me until there is peace and joy finally for you too. Frederick Buechner
In all honesty, I’m not sure how I feel about that quote. I see the value of it. And yet…I wonder if the scenario he suggests says I will never arrive at having my compassion satisfied.
The nature of my job exposes me to people all the time who either “play the system” or just have trouble finding the “key” to what they are missing. If I help people does that guarantee they will come to a place of peace and joy? The obvious answer is no. But compassion is what drew me to try to help.
#easytobehard. Three Dog Night sang a song back in the late 60s/early 70s by that title. It is easy to be hard. It is also easy to be cold. I find that true especially with those who keep coming back for more when they have done nothing to better their situation or themselves along the way. #easytobecynical.
But compassion is something we all need. I pray I never grow so cold or hard or cynical that I stop seeing people who are hurting. “Forgive me, Father, when I close my eyes to the ones who need to experience a touch of Your hand on their life. I may be the only one to do that. Give me compassion for the lost and hurting soul.”
It’s easy to be hard when someone drives 30 miles to ask you for help. It causes you to wonder why they came way out of their way. Did they stop at the 30 churches between asking as well? Had they worn out their welcome at all of those? It’s definitely easy to get my cynical and lose compassion.
Understand Larry. It is easy to be hard for that. Has happened here.
You can’t help someone that won’t help themselves. I don’t even try.
What about those incapable of helping themselves? Mental illness or disability? But I also agree with you. Separating the two can be tough.
I meant won’t. Can’t is different.
For me, a user of social media for personal reasons as well as professional, it was an interesting point that Craig made re: seeing several news of various “heaviness” and our brains adjusting to what it sees. As in, seeing a homeless boy and later a picture of someone’s cat, and your brain begins to react less sharply to the boy because it saw the kitten almost at the same time. I never thought of that influencing our compassion.
And the quote you mentioned – it felt rather odd to me too.
Good book, though. I like it.
As I read and analyzed it, I agree Zee. What is the “next big thing” seems to be uppermost. The former big thing becomes the last great thing quickly. i will agree about it being a good book.
Interesting quote, Bill.
If I wait til everyone around me has peace and joy before I claim my own fruit of the Spirit … well it’ll never happen.
Our compassion springs from that fruit being alive and well and active in our own hearts.
And hopefully, His light is seen …
Well said Linda. Glad I (and Zee) aren’t the only ones who felt it sort of funny.
Some people just don’t know how to help themselves, don’t know how to take the first step, are afraid, baggage galore. Maybe they’re playing the system but you may be the person who will stop that cycle, the one with the right approach or guidance. Challenges, God doesn’t make them easy. What would be the fun in that? I’m sure you do a good job… Just look out for those ruts, they’ll make you cynical and self depreciating every time!
you have just mentioned the tough part of this whole “helping people” thing nancy. When are we enabling them to continue in their “playing.” I just wish there was an easy way. But alas…. So I pray I don what is right when I try to help.
I struggle greatly with this, Bill, for the same reasons that you struggle. My husband and I have been in ministry for 40 years and well, you know how some trod upon the compassion of the church. I often feel so heartless. 🙁
Heartless is how I feel when we have to turn someone away who keeps coming back. More than that…to turn someone away who may have a legitimate need because we have put boundaries in place for whom we help.
Great thoughts. Only God knows where the line is, but I’m with you in not wanting to be lacking compassion. The kind of compassion in grace that covers me constantly.
Therein is the rub Floyd. I don’t want to be cold-hearted and without compassion. Grace-fillled? Yes. Heartless? no.
As in all things, Jesus serves as our best example. His compassion was one of the things that singled Him out from everyone else around Him. He was no friend of sin, but the eternal Friend of sinners.
Seems to me that this world is becoming less compassionate all the time. I think we have confused being overly tolerant to being compassionate. They are not the same thing.
To me, the grand secret of compassion is getting in touch with the tremendous gift of grace that we have been given. Only then, with the strength of the Holy Spirit, can we begin to reach out to others with His compassion.
GOD BLESS!
I try to stay in touch with that gift of grace which has been shown to me Sharon. But at times, I know I lack it. You saw my prayer…
Compassion is such an integral part of the Christian message, and we are asked to show Christ’s compassionate nature to others. And maybe what Buechner is saying is that we need to place the needs of others before our own if we ever expect to know true joy and peace. Kind of like losing one’s life to find it?
Blessings, Bill!
That gives a different spin on it Martha. Worth thinking about it.
From David: Wow! What a great post. I can only think of the compassion that God has for all of us. It never waivers. It is human nature to be cynical or hardened. Rest assured your works do not go unnoticed by us or God! I pray I grow more compassionate each day!
Thanks David. That compassion of God is what motivates me.
I think I see what you’re saying, Bill, and I agree: yes, we want to feel other people’s suffering and help relieve it as we’re able, but at the same time, we can still have peace and joy in our own souls. It’s not mutually exclusive in my mind. Our own peace can go deep enough that there’s a level it can’t be disturbed by what is going on around us. I’m not saying I’ve reached it, but I believe it exists. 🙂