Written by cycleguy on May 9th, 2016

Have you ever been divided? I mean, have you ever wanted to not do something but felt compelled to do it? That feeling of not wanting to was largely based on the subject matter.

I’m feeling that way right now. I strive to make this blog an uplifting, fun, light-hearted, diverse take on life. But there are times when I find myself writing something which is none of the above. Like now…

In one of my past posts, I talked about the healing and transformation which needs to take place in many lives due to predators. It garnered-not a lot of comments-but it did garner some very thoughtful and thought-filled ones. I’ve been reading more of Healing The Wounded Heart and ran across some important thoughts I’d like to pass along. I am no professional counselor so please keep that in mind.

Under a section entitled Evil’s Plan for Sexual Abuse it says

  1. Evil is a Thief
  2. Evil is a Murderer
  3. Evil is a Destroyer

It is #2 which captured my thoughts. Evil is a killer that delights in taking life and destroying hope. Evil knows that to the degree we are discouraged and defeated, we will not fight for survival. To not fight is to capitulate, to surrender. It wants to plunge us into despair.  And the following is what really hit me:

“There are two primary consequences of despair: dissociation and indulgence. Dissociation is a deep inner disconnection from reality…Dissociation in inevitable for a child or adolescence caught in the web of abuse…Dissociation is not a choice; it is a survival mechanism.” (p.40)

Like I said, I am not a counselor, but my experience with people says those who dissociate often add other struggles which magnify the problem…not solve it. Food, drink, sex, work, TV, pornography to name a few. In an effort to be free, they become slaves to something sometimes even more insidious.

The goal of evil (the enemy) is to steal, kill and destroy. Resisting the enemy is no small fete but if we want to win this battle it starts with “both fists up and wailing away.” All in the power of the Holy Spirit. “Greater is He who is in you than He who is in the world.”

To love life involves change-at some of the most painful places of all. I know this is not a “fun and games” post, but it can be an encouragement post. Don’t shy away from people who are struggling. Be there for them. Tell them you are fighting alongside them, that they are not alone.


13 Comments so far ↓

  1. jeff says:

    This sounds like a back to business kind of a post. Not that I am not interested in how sore your body is. I go to the Dr. tomorrow to see if my back pain has a solution.
    You subscribe to a little bit different explanation as to the cause of predation (What predators do)and in the weapons required to fight this battle. I don’t think it is caused by an unimaginable evil thing (The Enemy). I think it is caused by certain two legged mammals. And I don’t think that an unimaginable good thing (Your God) is going to have anything to do with solving the problem. But it is a problem.
    A Problem we both HATE. I believe some things are OK to HATE.
    But when you say “Greater is He who is in you than He who is in the world.”… does that mean that those of us who find the silliness of that will be excluded from working together with those that find some sense in it, to help limit the problem.
    I will hate it and “both fists up and wailing away.” until I die. And I hate many forms of injustice.

    • cycleguy says:

      I appreciate your thoughts Jeff. It is a back to business type of post. i actually wrote this one first and thought it was too heavy to post on MD. I do HATE this. I will agree with you on this. I see and listen to victims all the time. Despite what you hint at, I do think getting help is not limited to Christian counselors. I am coming at this from my experience, of course. I do believe in evil and an enemy (Satan) who is the author of it. I also do believe in a God who does give the strength to overcome. But I also believe God has given doctors the ability to help people. Like you, I will put up both fists and wail away also. We both HATE this predatory action.

      Oh Yeah: I hope you find the answer to your back issue. Been there done that and don’t ever want to again. I’ll say a prayer for you. 🙂

  2. Betty Draper says:

    I spent two hours on the phone last night with a young mother of two who has no husband now because of what you wrote about. I am going to send her this book. Thanks Bill

  3. As a former victim of sexual abuse (now a redeemed son of God) this is a subject matter close to my heart. Looking back on those years after the abuse…the coming out of darkness years, I understand the immense struggle it is to be free and believe you can be. It is easy for for a victim to become a “wound worshipper” and hold on to a false identity…at least it was for me.

    It was the exposing the years of abuse to the light of His love that healing began and the wonderful work of forgiveness that unlocked the door. My Savior came and set me free.

    So if the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed. John 8:36

    My wife and I just ministered to a young couple who have experienced the pain of years of abuse…and now are walking in new freedom and heading for more. Our Father is good!

    Yes my brother…we need to fight aloneside them, thanks for sharing those words.

    • cycleguy says:

      Thanks Jay for helping out. I am not a victim so what I write about comes from those who have been or from my reading. Hearing from one is much much better. Glad you have been set free and are helping others experience that same freedom.

  4. Yes, Bill, may we be there for all those who are hurting whenever and however we can. Encouragement is so important to give and to receive.

  5. I didn’t see the other post originally, but I went back and read it. Phew. I’ve faced some trauma, not specifically sexual abuse, but it has brought despair and depression (even though I didn’t fully see it at the time). Yeah, you try to survive and often the coping mechanism handed down to you from your family are either not enough or unhealthy in themselves. You’re so right. The process of healing can be long and difficult, but it’s worth it. Each of us can play a part in ministering that healing. It’s not a downer, it’s a real need. Thanks for talking about it, Bill.

    • cycleguy says:

      You put your finger on it Jason: the church has, for far too long, hidden or buried their collective heads in the sand and pretended this issue didn’t exist. Why I don’t know, but it has. It is time to deal with it. Thanks for the encouragement my friend.

  6. SusanP says:

    The church has ignored or minimized these problems.

  7. floyd says:

    Great post, BIll. That makes sense. Disassociation is just human survival instinct.

    The enemy seeks to destroy everyone’s life. It is the sovereign hand of our Father that keeps him at bay.

    Where there is suffering, there should be the hands and hearts of our Father; us…