I have been wanting to write this post for quite some time but keep putting it off for some reason. Maybe the time wasn’t right. Maybe the heart wasn’t right. Maybe because I know it has a limited audience. I am not really sure but I feel the prompting of the Holy Spirit to write now. I have to admit that it was inspired by Tony York’s post here. Please stop right now and read his post. Comment there if you want and then pleeeeeaaaassssse come back here (yes, that is shameless wailing). 🙂 And thank you Tony for a totally fantastic post on Passion.
Passion is so important, as Tony so aptly states it. Passion can have a negative side, i.e. if it is directed toward something that is wrong. But what do you do when your passion is directed toward something that others deem, oh shall we say…a waste of time? Maybe those are too harsh of words but maybe I can show you what I mean. I have struggled with God for more years than I care to admit why God would keep me in small churches. Admittedly, my dream was always to pastor a large church but it has never been, and to be honest, at this stage of my life will likely never be. Somewhere along the line I finally got okay with that. I am not sure when that happened but it did. I was under the mistaken idea that the big churches were the successful churches. I began to adopt practices that were foreign to me…not wrong practices but ones that were foreign to my personality. Like being a choleric-type of leader: “this is what I say and if you don’t like it-TOUGH! ” While I have personal convictions that will help me keep a stiff back when necessary, I have never been that type of leader and when a certain leadership guru became really popular, and the person to follow in the 90s, I tried to become someone I wasn’t. I failed miserably. I not only failed in the leadership department, I failed in the “inward” department as well. How can you live with yourself when you can’t be yourself? Know what I mean?
Fast-forward to 2005. I had been the pastor of a church that saw a loss of people due to jobs moving out of town and therefore, people as well. The first year of that ministry we lost 26 people to jobs. The next year the hemorrhage slowed to about 10 but the damage had been done to my psyche and I am not sure I recovered adequately to have the right “passion” for those fine people. In November of 2005 my wife and I moved to our current ministry here. Spencer is a town of about 3000 in a county of about 22,000. It is the 2nd poorest in Indiana and the #1 meth producer in all of Indiana. But, you know what? In spite of the brutal 2009, I have never felt more at ease and more fulfilled and more like I am where God wants me to be than I do right now. Some good things are happening that I totally intend on sharing with you someday in the future but something else is also the reason for a better attitude on my part. Shannon O’Dell in his new book Transforming Church in Rural America: Breaking All the Rurals wrote:
we have made the large church the glamorous opportunity in ministry, and we have lied to ourselves while we often fail to see the enormous potential in small churches in small communities.
BINGO!! Success=big church or Success = small church. Depends on your perspective I reckon. That is what I finally learned and am still learning. While there are advantages/disadvantages to large churches there are also advantages/disadvantages to small ones. I no longer hanker for the “big city lights” or the “big church lights.” They are not wrong but I have come to realize they are not for me. I like the country (not country music). I like the wide open spaces. I like the small town. I like the slower pace. And yes, I am egotistical enough (if you want to call it that) to like being recognized on the street or in the store. I sometimes frustrate my wife because I am always wanting to stop and talk to someone I know from the Y or from Sunday. She rolls her eyes when I strike up a conversation with someone I have never met before. And I love these people who make up Owen Valley Christian Fellowship, a church trying to make a difference in its community. Like all churches and communities we make our mistakes and we have our quirks but I like what God is doing (don’t suspect He needs my approval anyway do you?).
Why am I writing this? Aaahh, your guess is as good as mine. Maybe it is for the pastor who will just “happen” by this blog for some “God-guided” reason. Maybe it is for the man/woman who feels tied up and frustrated because they hanker for something bigger or “better.” Maybe it is for the person who is mired in a small community and is totally frustrated with God’s seeming lack of moving in his/her life. So many different reasons. If this post spoke to you today, give God the thanks and then if you feel like commenting please do so. I would love to hear from you…any thoughts you may have. You can even disagree with me if you want! 🙁
Sorry for the length of this post. I really am trying to keep them shorter. Honest! 😀
I thought I preferred large churches….then came to Germany….this isn’t a large church, but I love it. And I suppose I’ll learn to love wherever God places us.
On another note and what I found most striking about this post….your last line. It’s about content brother…..type a novel if ya wanna or 2 lines…if it’s good stuff, as is usually the case here, we will read. Going with the one-liners and paragraph posts will kinda make ya like the rest, and your NOT being like the rest is one reason I’m here.
My 2 cents anyway :D.
Peace!
I am pretty sure God has you exactly where He wants you, my friend. He’s pretty good at keeping all the planets and stars in line and where they should be too. 😉 *wink!
Seriously…..I totally “get” what you are saying. I am in that torn stage of big church/little church right now as a matter of fact. Our current church is not a mega church, but it does have all the “bells and whistles” such as 1200-2500 members (we are not “officially” members even though we have been going there about 10 years…..not sure if that is telling me something or not….)….it has a great pastor, the awesome worship team/band, etc. The main draw for us is the youth ministry for all ages. Totally rocking and my kids (7-18+) love it.
Josh and I have visited a friends church (he is helping work with their very small and simple music ministry) and we enjoyed the close-knit family feeling of it all. The pastor was also very nice and we’ve gone back a few times since that first visit. Our children joined us and def. expressed how they wanted to stay at our church.
So there is where I am at….I feel drawn to keep them at a church that is touching their growing spirit and love for God even though I feel I am not getting “fed” myself the way I would like. What do I do?
Oh wait, this is your blog and you asked a question. sorry!
I think God has different assignments for every individual. I can imagine the frustrating feeling when you do not see/feel the results as quickly as you would like. My guess is that you *are* being very fruitful and might only find out when you go to Heaven and see the magnitude and the lives you changed just with being yourself where God placed you.
Oh, and sometimes those bigger and better jobs are not what they are cracked up to be. Sometimes you miss out on the experience and joy of touching people’s lives firsthand, rather than viewing it from way up, yk?
ok, now I am rambling…..have a great weekend, Bill! Off to go blow up Tony York’s place with my random babbling…..
First.. I am flattered that I had anything to write that you thought others would want to read.. 🙂
But more importantly, I am so happy about how God has moved in your life to bring you to where He wants you. The church that we have been attending lately is much smaller in size than our previous church. I was talking with the pastor recently and he retold a story about how the mayor of his town had introduced him as the pastor of the small church on such and such a street.
He corrected the mayor by saying that they weren’t the small church… they were the significant church.
I liked that.
Toby: Imagine going from MCC to a smaller church in Germany was sort of a culture shock but glad you have adjusted. You have a significant part in that church. Go for it! Thanks also for the kinds words. I just read once that people prefer shorter posts. I aim to please! 🙂 Oops that is a fault. LOL
Michelle: Great thoughts! I am so proud of you and Josh desiring to seek God but also being sensitive to your children’s needs for growth. Sometimes we, as parents, put aside our desires for our children. So cool that you are doing that. In the long run you won’t regret it. Gonna have to go check out your ramblings at Tony’s place. 😀
Tony: don’t kid yourself. You write a lot of good stuff. I like what that pastor had to say. He has his head and heart screwed on right. Small or large can mean significant.
I have many thoughts but will just share a few:
1. More than half way through O’dell’s book and really enjoying it. I will post on my blog on it when I finish it.
2. I have been in a larger church in a large city – not all that it is cracked up to be. Although for years I thought it was “IT”.
3. I am now a Rural Pastor. I am in a village of 400 in a county that has about 18,000. I love it and I am passionate about being here.
4. I appreciate the post and the honesty in it because I see myself in it in many ways.
Thanks for sharing!
@ Tony: You write excellent. @ Bill Thank you for sharing. I am almost done with that book and it has been awesome.
What you have written is something that I think that many have struggled with, or will struggle with. I am glad that you are so open with you experiences to encourage those of us who are younger. Thanks again Bill.
Jim: thanks. You delineated well your thoughts. You will do well there. And you’re welcome. Look forward to reading your thoughts on the book.
Michael: hoping tony comes back to see what you have written. You are welcome Michael. I appreciate your openness to listening. Glad you are enjoying the book and look forward to hearing what you have to say.
I am encouraged that God will use me where I am and being who I am. That I need to quit looking forward to when I get to a place of fulfulling my purpose but fulfill it where I am today and not rate myself on someone else’s purpose. Thank you!
Tom: best thought for all is to be content where you are. Thanks.
As I read this, I could not help but draw the parallels to all of our Christian Lives…maybe since I am no longer in a Vocational Church Ministry.
We yearn to be included in those “glamorous” jobs for Christ…very few get excited about toilet duty. But the truth is, God is at work in both places and the best place for us to be is where God wants us.
And you never know what God may do through that which seems unglamorous in our eyes.
You are right for sure Dusty. God can be glorified in all we do.
Enjoyed this post a lot. It’s that “grass is always greener” mentality that we have such a hard time seeing for what it is.
My family is split. My husband likes big – as in he can be an anonymous face – churches.
I prefer a smaller church where people might actually recognize me when they see me.
The church we attend now is I guess somewhere in the middle. Nowhere near as big as some previous churches, but just big enough that only now about 3 months later are people starting to realize I actually attend on a regular basis. Oh and last week the pastor greeted me for the first time on his own, though still don’t think he really knows who I am =)
That turned into a whole lot of random ramblings… sorry!
Long comment short – I’m so glad to hear God gave you the peace to realize you are right where you need to be. Thanks for sharing!
Kim: wanted to say thanks real quickly since need to leave the office. Will come back to comment later this afternoon. Thanks for coming by. will also check out your blog later as well. 🙂
I am back after a bike ride with a friend. 😉 You and your husband are a perfect example of the tension that lies in much of the thinking of people. big=anonymous (good and bad). Small=known (good and bad). As you are finding out it is not an easy one to solve. Suspect your husband liked not being known these three months and it was probably all you could do not go up to someone and say, “Hey, do you know me? My name is…” Praying that you find that “perfect tension” for both of you. Oh, i did not consider it rambling but welcome conversation. Thanks for the comments.
While EVERYTHING you wrote is so true – I’m concerned about the obvious lack of insight, discernment and revelation from God that keeps you from liking Country Music, I’ll keep praying for you, brother.
“The Lord said to Gideon, “The people who are with you are too many for Me to give Midian into their hands, for Israel would become boastful, saying, “My own power has delivered me.”
Is it wrong to seek the growth of our church and ministry? By no means! We should wish that every pastor had a PH.D. and every church an attendance of 5,000. Nevertheless all must be done biblically and always with the full realization that God is our onlyglory…our only strength…our only wisdom…and our only hope. If we were able to write a book about what we did to have a great church or ministry….it was probably not a work of God. If when asked of our “success” we can only bow our head and declare the goodness and power of God….then there might be something of God in what has been done.
This post spoke to me so much more than you can imagine. It spoke to the way I measure success…success comes in all shapes and sizes.
I pray you continue to be that successful pastor who will lead people to salvation, be it in a small church or big church…doesn’t really matter.
Debi: glad i swallowed my Diet Dr. Pepper before I read your post. I am a heathen…I prefer rock. 🙂 Maybe I ought to pray for you to come over the right side? LOL
Ike: agreed. If we can claim credit it was done under our own power. we are then the loser.
Jaycee: thanks for the kind words. Glad it spoke to you. And I will for sure appreciate your prayers on my behalf and would be glad to include you in mine. 🙂
great post bill. and boy, do i relate.
for a long time, i’ve been fighting the ugliness within me that screams i am not successful because my church is stagnant and that guy across town is growing like crazy. and he’s not nearly as smart as me. but take heart, bill. the seasons are changing, and guys like you and me will be the perry nobles and craig groeschels of the next generation. don’t believe me? read this:
http://www.outofur.com/archives/2010/05/small_churches.html
by the way, i am totally kidding. not about the struggling part, but about the “next big thing” part.
Hi Cycleguy,
I just read the blog from randy morgan ‘the perry nobles and craig groeshels?’
Let’s tke the example of John the Baptist. Jesus says he was the greatest born of man in God’s eyes. He lived an obsure life in the desert. His clothes were camels hair and his food locusts and honey.
The Bible says if men of the world speak well of us we can know that we are in trouble. The world persecutes and hates true followers of Jesus just as the world hated Jesus himself. He was and is the Master, the King.
The world’s ideas of ‘success’ have come into the church and has been accepted by the minds of he leadership within the church. (After all status and fame is very attractive to the flesh and ego).
How will the Holy Spitit work within this worldly frame? I don’t think he will. He didn’t work with the Pharisees in Jesus’ day. When the time came for the Son, God moved himself outside of the Jerusalem Temple to a lowly man at Nazareth and unlearned fishermen who believed and devoted themselves to him and his ministry.
You are absolutely correct–as usual….and as I remember hearing one of my seminary professors say “There is no such thing as a PRACTICE CHURCH…every local church is a real church.”
Thanks Randy for stopping by. Appreciate your comments also. Will check out the link you recommended when I have a little time. I can appreciate your struggle. I reckon all we can really do is keep encouraging one another and praying that God will use us.
Linda: please take note of Randy’s last statement. I think it is safe to say that neither he nor I want to be the next anyone. Thanks for your comment and John is a good example to keep in mind.
Phil: love the quote. wise professor. Thanks for coming by.