As many of you know I took some time away from the office this past week. For the most part it was also a time away from blogging and responding to blogs. I have to admit that I sometimes get frustrated with some bloggers for various reasons. Those who blog, for example, but leave no place for comments. It is almost like they are saying, “Listen to what I am saying but to tell you the truth, I am not the least bit interested in what you have to say.” Maybe that is sort of harsh and unfair but while I know he/she may have some good things to share I sort of stopped going to their blog. Okay…not sort of…I just stopped. That alone sounds arrogant on my part since it is almost like saying, “Unless you want to hear what others say (especially me), I am going to take my ball and quit.” Another frustrating thing for me is when people want you to read their blogs but then fail to read others, and if they do, leave a comment occasionally. This past week I was guilty of the latter. While I blogged very little on my own, I commented even less. I know this may not mean a whole lot to many of you but I still read every blog in my Google Reader (ask Jo) and some hit me where I needed to be hit, but I chose not to take a lot of time commenting. I am guessing not many of you asked, “Where is Waldo, I mean, Bill?”
Frankly, I am not sure I can even answer that right now. The mini-vacation I took was just that- a mini one. But even as I was gone, I had things I had to deal with. Today as I write this it is Friday, my day off and the last day of my time off, and as I was cycling with two buddies today one of them asked me how my vacation went. I had to honestly tell him that “it was too short and I need more time away.” The word that would describe me right now would be “well done.” Not quite fried but toasty. However, I do not want this post to be a “poor Bill” post so I will stop at that. In fact, this post by Jay and this one by Scott and this one by Jason’s wife, Andrea, sums it up well for me. Here Tom tells me what I need to know and do and Michelle tells me I can have Victory here. These are all well and good but it still comes down to me because frankly, I know it is easier said than done.
But let me ask you a question: how do you know when you are reaching that breaking point, that point where you find yourself looking for an escape (and I don’t mean drugs, alcohol, etc)? Second part to the question: what causes it? I have my own thoughts, for sure, but I would like to hear some of yours. I will be writing some about my/your thoughts this coming week so feel free to comment however you like. And yes, I will be back to commenting on your blogs as well. (I know you missed my opinions). 😛
Bill, ya touched on a subject that I, unfortunately, let get to me. Now, I read lots of blogs, but I don’t even try to comment on all of them. Sometimes I don’t have time, but most of the time I just don’t have much to add and hate to leave comments that say “Amen” or “great post”.
Now then, what bugs me is those who you can read like clockwork. I do it for fun sometimes, but there are many who won’t comment on your blog unless you comment on theirs. I’ve been bored and tested this on many occasions :D. Back when I had all of the tracking programs, it bugged me a lot more, but still gets to me a bit :D.
As to breaking points…..I don’t know that I have a detailed answer for ya, but I just know when I’ve had enough….of whatever it is…..and I stop. Plain and simple. I’ve worked hard in my life to get to a point where, no matter what it is, if it begins to be too much, I’m done. Whether I’m done for long enough to take a long walk or go away for a weekend, that’s what I do 😀
Now I need to think up a blog post so you can come comment on it :P.
Toby: I hope what I said was not taken wrong…by you or anyone else. i did not mean it that way. I was hoping to shine some light on how I read but didn’t answer but learned anyway. I apologize if I was taken wrong. My next question would be a follow up to your “I just stop.” That works if you know what it is that is causing you the pain. 🙂 So…how do you know when something needs to be stopped? Anyone out there want to take a stab at it? One last thing: I promise I will comment. 😛
For the record, no apology needed on my end. Not in the least bit offended :D.
I think I have a better grasp on what you’re saying now, but it’s still kinda foreign to me. I mean, how do I know what’s causing the pain? I guess we could get into “funks” and not know what’s causing it, but I don’t have a lot of experience there. If I feel pain or hurt, I usually know exactly where it’s coming from or what/who is causing it. As I said in the last comment, I would then eliminate whatever it is that is causing the funk :D. I just don’t have an example where “because of this, I’m doing this. I’m too much of a control freak to let a circumstance control me.
another reason I don’t comment on lots of blogs cuz I say things that could appear cold and mean when I’m trying to be funny…..aka my last line up there :D.
I never thought your last line was anything but a joke or tongue-in-cheek comment. 🙂
When I hit my breaking point I eat. I eat my feelings. I also have a habit of not sleeping. I’ll sit there and literally twittle my fingers.
For me, the cause of it is simple, lack of confidence. Sounds silly right? But the one thing I should have is the one thing I struggle with the most.
I was having a hard time this morning and started to cook pop tarts after we set up for church. I knew I was eating frustrations, so I went for a 2 mile run. That really helped. I look forward to this series Bill.
Michael: thanks for your honesty. Many are afraid/ashamed to admit they struggle and when they do, what they do. I don’t eat though. I want to ride and use it as a release mechanism. Michael, I hope I can do your trust and “look ahead” justice.
Toby: I hope what I said was not taken wrong…by you or anyone else. i did not mean it that way. I was hoping to shine some light on how I read but didn’t answer but learned anyway. I apologize if I was taken wrong. My next question would be a follow up to your “I just stop.” That works if you know what it is that is causing you the pain. 🙂 So…how do you know when something needs to be stopped? Anyone out there want to take a stab at it? One last thing: I promise I will comment. 😛
I’m sorry that I misread your question earlier. I know when I’ve hit that point when I get frustrated easily. Sorry I answered off topic.
You didn’t answer off topic. You answered honestly. You hit on a truth: we all cope differently. Some retire while others eat or make mistakes by speaking out of turn or (take your pick).
Hello, pastor 🙂
Most times when we feel like we’re getting to a breaking point, it’s just because we need time away just to refresh our bodies. Jesus always walked away from the crowds to retreat into a quiet place by Himself.
A pastor recently explained something to me: being filled with the Holy Spirit is like being filled with a cup of water, and as you give yourself away to others, you will need to refill that cup of water again and again.
About commenting on blogs, it’s good that you do so…but I don’t think it is necessary to comment on every one of your feeds. It is emotionally draining and time consuming to comment on blogs that you haven’t gotten anything from (any lessons that apply to you). Not to get me wrong, I love commenting on blogs and love people commenting on mine (always, lol)…but there comes a time when you need to take that time away for your own body’s sake.
Hey Jaycee: always good to hear from you. I know the illustration that pastor gave you. Unless we are refilling our cup we will run dry. About the blogs: I don’t comment on every feed every day. I do try to touch base occasionally though. Have to admit to enjoying some more than others. 😀
To all: As I read and reread my post I am hoping it was taken wrongly. I was trying to get across the point that I read a lot of blogs but chose not to respond due to being on vacation. I knew it was important to find some time away from what I normally do but still keep in touch. Google Reader tells me when a new blog I have subscribed to has a new post. I will at least read it. My online blog family is important to me and I enjoy reading all the different perspectives. 😛
I’m glad that you’re part of my online family 🙂
Dear Bill
I think most of us know you have your eye on us 😉
re reading and commenting: I know I read much more and comment much less now that I read blogs by using a reader instead of by visiting the websites (double that when I started reading from a reader on my phone). That general effect has been noticed elsewhere. A reader that feeds through comments and allows you to send a comment is the next step.
re burnout and timeout. For me, if I stop writing in my diary it’s a matter of time before I’m completely burnt out. Nothing helps apart from getting back to the diary for at least half-an-hour a day. That’s a period of quiet calm with just me, my diary and a pen. God can read if He likes, but I’m not writing to Him: I’m writing to myself.
Hope you find a way to keep fresh!
Ivan
Ivan: good to have you back from vacation! I use Google Reader so it too saves me from visiting website after website. Heidi is actually the one who told me about it. (I am technologically-challenged). Interesting that journaling is a key to you. I wonder if others have that same issue.
p.s. I’ll read those other blogs — I’ll have to actually go to the websites!!
Hellooooo Cycle Bob! 😀 I like you.
Your question is of a kind I never think about so I can’t answer it. I first have to think about it and than come back if you don’t mind.
I don’t have a blog 😀
Ani: howdy! Glad to see you back even though you call me cycle Bob and you know my real name. but to show you what a great guy i am, I will welcome you anyway. 😛 Look forward to hearing from you when you get the chance.
Thanks Bill. 🙂
Bill,
I am learning to let go when it comes to how I can respond and who should respond when it comes to blogging world. Ultimately, I have to treat my little blog as a diary that I have let some people (the whole world-wide-web) into the inner workings of my messed up mind. When I visit a blog, I will respond if there is a reason to do so. Sometimes there just isn’t a reason to respond… at least from my perspective. 😉
As for when I know when I am done.. when my attitude is going south and others around me are getting impacted. When I start sucking their power because mine is so low, I know it is time to recharge.
Tony: I am learning that lesson but much slower. It is that part of me that says, “Say something.” Your words in the last sentence were jewels though. Thanks.
Bill, I really did miss you and your comments this past week! Like it or not, I sort of have a hierarchy in the way I read blogs. I have those who are consistent in adding to the conversation on my blog so I make a point to add to theirs (if they have blogs). There are those who don’t comment as much on mine, but they don’t get that many comments so I want to be an encouragement to them. Then there are those who I enjoy and see as friends, but I may not comment all the time.
I used to try to comment on everything, but the list has grown so large that I can’t contribute substance to everything that way. If I haven’t checked in with someone in a while, I may leave an “amen. great post” type comment, but I look for ways to be part of the conversation as best I can.
Blessings to you, Bill. I’m reminded of Proverbs 11:25, “A generous man will prosper; he who refreshes others will himself be refreshed.” You have refreshed me many times so I believe you too will be refreshed. Thank you!
Jason: thanks for missing me. 🙂 I will have to check out making that hierarchy idea mine as well. Thanks also for the blessing. It is not unnoticed and unappreciated.
Ok, honesty time. I do get frustrated and I think it is because, or when I procrastinate. Then I feel like I have WAYYY too much to do and not enough time. And it is ridiculous because now I am retired and have PLENTY of time. Today I did good, I got alot accomplished. I ahve been very busy for this past year planning my daughters wedding so I do have that ONE excuse:):) Have a great week, Bill. XO, Pinky
Pinky: it is so good to have you back in these parts! Isn’t it strange that when we should have more time we find out we have less? It is called the Tyranny of the Urgent. Hoping you find that place of rest. You have a great week also.
HMMM, the Tyranny of the Urgent, huh? Never heard of that but it sure fits! Please if you get a moment would you say a small prayer for GOOD WEATHER on 9/11. My daughter is getting married, outside, on that day. Thanks so much!
I most certainly will pray for good weather and that everything about the wedding will go well.
Bill…I’ve been off the radar too. It’s the project at home that’s been keeping me busy but in my several years of meandering around the blog-world here’s what I’ve noticed.
I read through loads of blogs…all kinds and in the beginning I commented on EVERY one! But I hit a wall. It’s not hard to realize that you simply CAN’T leave a thoughtful comment every day on every blog you visit.
For awhile I just quit commenting.
But I’ve started back slowly …
If you’re overdone I pray God will give you a refreshing and a beautiful balance…
hugs and prayers my friend…
Robin: been keeping up with your DIY projects. Like i said on yours: you make me tired. 🙂 I need to realize that what you state here is true: I can’t comment every day on every blog. Aaaahhh I feel free-er just writing that. 😛 Thanks for your prayers and hugs.
Bill, I’ve learned to make decisions on things as simple as posting comments on blogs to major decisions or saying yes to everyone who ever asks me to do something or volunteer with something with two simple questions. 1. Am I doing this out of guilt or fear of man? 2. How will this decision affect me in 10 minutes, 10 months and 10 years from now?
AS a perfectionist I’ve learned I can’t make everyone happy…but I can learn to make wise decisions not steeped in guilt and fear.
Love this post..it is a very rich and deep topic that I relate to very much.
Thanks Julie for the excellent advice. Getting ready now to follow up on this post. Glad you related. BTW everyone: check out Julie’s post for today.
Bill..just an FYI..I choose to post a comment here because I believe in you and the truth you share on your blog. Its a joy to visit your blog.
I appreciate that Julie. I posted about checking your most recent post out before I decided to include it in Body and Soul Relief. 🙂 It was too “on the money” for people not to go there.
For me, I can tell I’m reaching the end when I simply run dry on ideas. I am not the most creative person on the planet, but I do believe that God gives me ideas and thoughts for a reason. In my last ministry, about three years ago, I ran dry. Things were not pretty in that ministry. Life was ugly. I wanted to quit ministry. It was all around bad. During that time, I realized why I had “come to the end.” Simply put, my relationship with God had run dry.
The One who supplies, refreshes, restores, provides and inspires me, I had left out in the cold. For me, coming to the end is a sure sign that maybe the relationship with God has faltered.
This is not an absolute case. Some of the most godly people I know have rough patches too. I’m just saying that this was how it was for me.
Stan: you said a mouthful here. I plan to “get to this idea” in tomorrow’s post. Thanks for taking the time to respond with great wisdom.
=) I’ll be looking forward to that post.
I have my favorites list… those people I read faithfully. And then I have the ones I want to read when I have time. And then I have those that fall in between. 🙂
I’m weird that way. But I understand your frustration. I’m not much into the “follow me and I’ll follow you” mindset.
Duane: I don’t consider that weird at all. 🙂 It works for you and that is what matters. Suspect I may have to being taking that same approach.
Okay, I’m back. I’ve been thinking about this. This is a tough question. How do you know when you are reaching that breaking point where you find yourself looking for an escape? I found out I I don’t eat when that happens. That is the opposite of people who eat at that point. I just forget and can’t think about food and become overactive. I get even more tired than I already am. I found out running is a good thing and taking my bike and go for a ride, the wind in my hair as if I empty everything out of my head and can start all over again. What causes it? It happens when I think I can do it all by my self and forget to ask God, when life takes me all in. That is why those times alone with Him are so precious now. That is why I decided to be offline every weekend. It’s like a long Sabbath. It starts on Fridayevening and ends on Mondaymorning. It really is great. I’m not sure if you meant this. But this is how I understood your question and these are my answers. But you did make me think. My brains still hurt. 🙂
Ani: this is exactly what I was looking for! Hope you will get a chance to read some of the newer ones where I try to deal with it a little more “up front.” As for your brain hurting? I would suggest a bike ride. You said it helps empty your head. 😛 thanks for the contribution.
Bill sorry I have been toasty too. This is crunch time in the school fundraising biz. I am struggling to keep up and be faithful to blog. I just noticed you had linked to me back on this date. Thanks…I have been very guilty as of late of being able to visit other sites…I do need to get my life back in order! Thanks for dropping in when you can…and YES you are missed. I pray for a breath of God’s energy fill you today!!