“Hi. My name is Bill and I am a mess.”
There were so many thoughts that ran through my head when I read this chapter of The Hole In Our Gospel by Richard Stearns. This chapter is entitled “A Hole In Me.” Aaahhhh thank you very much Richard for reminding me of that. 🙂 Yeah, there is a great big hole- make that a hugeous hole- in me. And because of that hole I have made make a royal mess of myself more often than I care to admit. There is also no doubt in my little mind that things would be a whole lot worse if not for God’s grace and favor.
My problem is that even though I know that it has not stopped me from continuing to make a mess of me. Just like I know God wants to be first in my life and infiltrate every part of me, I also know that He wants all of me. Even the hole. Richard wrote:
Christ is an all-or-nothing proposition, and one way or another, every one of us has already made a choice about Him. We have either committed our lives to Him wholeheartedly, or we have not.
The reason I am a mess, and the reason I keep making messes, is because I have failed to do just what he says on a more consistent constant basis: give myself wholeheartedly to Him. As Richard says, “The real journey of faith requires that our choices, our actions, and everything else in our lives be surrendered to God’s will rather than our own.” (p.84)
“Hi. My name is Bill. I have made a mess of me but I choose to turn myself over the Fixer of messes.”
As soon as I decided to write on this topic a song came to mind. I know it may not be everyone’s cup of tea but it says what I am trying to say.
What thoughts to you have flowing through your head today? I would like to hear them. For more posts on this chapter/book discussion, please go to Jason’s blog here. From there you can check out others.
One more favor: my oldest daughter, Tami, recently wrote about “Singleness: Gift or Curse” on her blog. Her story is there but if you read her comments on my last blog “Peace” you will see the reason for her post. Would you please read her post and then if you feel so led, make a comment? I personally think she hits it right on the money. Thanks.
ouch… good one, Bill.
We have either committed our lives to Him wholeheartedly, or we have not.… *hanging my head*
Zee: Join the club. As Matt Redman says in his book on Worship: “I was undone.”
(wow, for once, i was the first one to comment?)
hmm… book on worship? that sounds good…
Yep you were. 🙂 Will include the name as soon as it comes to me.
and that last quote by Richard- “The real journey of faith requires that our choices, our actions, and everything else in our lives be surrendered to God’s will rather than our own.”
That’s exactly what I was trying to say- when my desires align with his desires then I KNOW that I am truly resting in Him. Love you (and thanks for the above).
oh, and my comment is actually on the connect the dots post 🙂
You’re welcome, of course. That last quote is powerful.
When I say your first line, I immediately thought of Switchfoot.
I’ve been wrestling with Jer. 17:14 recently and it deals with what you are writing about. “Heal me and I will be healed, save me and I will be saved.”
It’s when we turn ourselves over to the “fixer” as you say that it works.
Love this bill.
Thanks Michael. I am glad you included that verse. Pointed.
Love the song. There’s power in looking at the mess of my life in an honest way. It humbles, it brings me to my knees and it causes me to hang on to the only One who can fix the hole in me.
Wonderful post my friend…love to you~
Good point Robin about looking at the mess. How could we be anything but humbled when we realize how much we do make a mess? Thanks. Love back at you.
I thought I recognized you both (you and Zee) at the club Messy Life. Every time I make a mess and He comes along and fixes it makes me realize how amazing His grace is for me and it surely is enough.
Over to your daughters post.
Yep. We were the “stars” of the show. Least I was. 🙂 Welcome to the club!
Okay, I went to her blog but forgot I’m not able to post a comment.
I’m still trying to figure that out- I will try again!
How about sending you an email and you copy and paste it Tami? I have had to do that with some.
I have to go offline, no time anymore to check again. I know one day, ONE day I will be able to comment directly at your blog. But for now I want to say that you are amazing and awesome writing what you are writing. Married or not, you are a jewel in His eye. For those who are good in Bible-verses, I don’t know if this is in the Bible but this is how I see my God. He sees us as priceless jewels. Bye bye. Love your dad, I adopted him. 😀
Thanks for the nice words about Tami. She is a jewel (but I am not prejudiced). 🙂 She will see this.
Hi Ani,
I think the jewels verse you are thinking of is Malachi 3:17,18. (Those who feared the LORD and honored his name)
‘They will be mine’ says the LORD Almighty ‘in the day when I make up my jewels’.
The NIV Bible translation says ‘treasured possession’
Thanks Linda.
thank you so much for these words- (you actually made me cry but that’s not hard lately). I always wanted another sister 🙂
and he does refer to his people as treasured possessions (I’ll have to find the verse).
Also- I THINK I may have fixed the commenting. I changed it to allow everyone to leave a comment (and I also added comment moderation).
Trust me when I say you will have to find another way to have another sister. 😛
Haha, really?????
Unless I adopt you Ani. Tami & her ONLY sister are 35 and 31 respectively. If you are younger then I will adopt you and Tami can have her other sister. Make sure you read my post for today (Thursday) to see why. 🙂
I too make messes like a 1 year old all the time – make a mess here then crawl over there and make a mess.
Love this quote: “The real journey of faith requires that our choices, our actions, and everything else in our lives be surrendered to God’s will rather than our own.”
The picture of obedience is powerful and allow Him to work!
Obedience is what it is all about Jim. Good reminder.
big thought in my head this morning is how even though I’m a mess too, I need to keep getting back up. I can’t be afraid to call God into any situation, even if I’m embarrassed to.
I’m also thinking about how my coffee came out particularly good this morning. I need to see if I set something different on the machine 🙂
Mo: thanks for coming by. You are right about not being afraid to call God into the situation. As for the coffee: you are on your own. I don’t drink it. 🙂
I think it depends on how you define “mess”. All my righteousness is but filthy rags. There is none good no not one… We can wholeheartedly devote our lives to Christ and still end up in messy situations, still end up messy individuals with messes on our hands. Jesus never promised prosperity or an easy life so to say ( NOT that I think YOU are saying this) that if we are a mess then we haven’t devoted ourselves wholeheartedly to God.
How much is wholeheartedly? Where is the line? Is it another hoop because someone like a perfectionist like me will say, my whole heartedness is NEVER enough.
Again, I am just playing “devils advocate” here ..lol.
I know many dear saints of God, many beautiful Christians who are messes and who in their weakness and mess Jesus is glorified because He is their strength even when He may not fix their mess like they would hope He would.
Just my fiery two cents! By the way Bill…I saw the dialogue between you are your daughter and it brought tears to my eyes…just beautiful.
Julie: first thanks for playing devil’s advocate. You do raise some good questions. I feel somewhat frustrated right now in that my internet was down for the whole morning, I spent 91 minutes on the phone with a DSL tech and finally got it going but then had to leave. so I am playing catch up on all these posts. I want to chat some about yours but I hope you will forgive me if I move on and maybe come back or deal with it in a post. I definitely see your “side” and it is one not to be dismissed. I think you know me well enough that I believe strongly in grace and not human performance. I am definitely against the easy life syndrome and pray that God is glorified in my messy life. And thanks for taking the time to read Tami’s post and to see my love for her.
My internet was down all day too…thanks for allowing discussion and questions…something I am learning is ok to do! I appreciate your taking the time to welcome diaogue here!
I am glad that people feel comfortable enough using this as a place to dialogue. I love it and am learning as it goes along.
Its too early to be coherent. My above post was cut off at several intervals because I typed and poted without rechecking. I guess I was trying to say that we will all make messes, we are sinners plain and simple. To conclude that if we make messes it is because we haven’t given ourselves wholeheartedly to God in my opinion is wrong and somewhat judgemental. ( Just my opinion)
9:11 too early? Where have you been the past 6 hours I was up? 🙂 I don’t think Richard, and certainly not me, would say we make messes because of the failure to wholeheartedly give myself to God. I think I make a mess of things because I am a sinner and would have less messiness if I did submit myself more consistently to Him.
I am right there with you Bill…
Headed to Tami’s post now.
Thanks Dusty. Sure Tami will appreciate it also.
Blah… got that sinking feeling in my stomach that tells me you struck a direct hit. I’m really good at portioning out what I turn over to Him, just not great at giving it ALL over to Him.
“The real journey of faith requires that our choices, our actions, and everything else in our lives be surrendered to God’s will rather than our own.”
That is such an almost scary thought. Which tells me I definitely am still trying to be in the drivers seat. I think this one is going to take me a while, but reminders like this challenge me to keep working on it.
Do you ever feel anxious turning over the controls? Maybe I’m just a control freak. Good get your thinking cap on post Bill 🙂
Kim: Yeah it is a scary prospect. I want to be in the driver’s seat way too much. And yes there is anxiety because it is a natural part of man to control. To give up that control is never easy. Sort of like my wife sitting in the passenger seat while I drive. Oops enough said. 😛 Thanks Kim.
Yes and Amen….
“This is and has been the Father’s work from the beginning-to bring us into the home of His heart.” George MacDonald
Love the quote Jay. Thanks
Hi Bill,
What I think of is the apostle Paul. He had made a huge mess. He had persecuted and killed God’s people forcing them to deny Christ. His mess was stopped by God. He was serving the Pharicitical system without his knowing it. He was not serving God.
His actions were causing him to be a mess. God said Paul’s conscience was pricking him terribly.
God brought him out of this mess by the Damascus road experience.
My opinion is that if we are grounded deeply in Christ we will not be a mess. God’s word teaches that we will be strong not messes. As God’s people our measurement is from glory to glory not mess to mess.
I do agree with you Linda about paul but I do disagree with you that coming to Christ stops us making a mess of things. The old man still fights for control. (See Kim above) Thanks for your comment.
I am totally with you, Bill. For some reason this stuck out to me so vividly, “There is also no doubt in my little mind that things would be a whole lot worse if not for God’s grace and favor.” I think sometimes we forget that. We mess up in big and small ways, but we can easily forget that without grace it would be so much worse and our sins could have carried us so much farther away. I need more grace instead of more trying to beat myself up…
Thanks Bill. I appreciate it. Headed over to read Tami’s post too. 🙂
Jason: I can’t disagree with anything you said about grace. I, too, need it more instead of always beating myself up.
Hi Bill,
I like mo’s post here today. God’s grace allows us to call on Him even in our embarassing messes. We need to humble ourselves and repond to God’s invitation wholeheartedly.
I do also Linda.
Oh and by the way: love Switchfoot and also that song. I mean it says it exactly. Never thought you would like that kind of music. I though you couldn’t get higher on my list of favourites but you do now. You rock, Bill.
Ani: you would be surprised who I like and what music I listen to. I think my wife sometimes thinks I am going through my second childhood. I know Tami & I have different tastes. I do like to rock. Thanks for the nice words.
I heard a quote once, “God gives us a message out of our mess.” Like you said, it’s only when we turn our faces to the Fixer of messes that we’ll be changed from the inside out.
PS: I was listening to another of Switchfoot’s songs today. It’s called “Your Love is a song.” It made my day.
Love that quote Jaycee. Will have to check YouTube for that video. Thanks for the heads up.
I know exactly what you mean here, Bill. I’ve made a pretty big mess at times. I’m so thankful that God doesn’t remind us of our mess but He reminds us of His love.
Oh and this is one of my favorite Switchfoot songs. Very fitting!
Oh man that is huge tony. He reminds of His love not our mess. Thanks for stopping by.