First, I am going to let you know right off the bat: I can’t stand the word the astericks in the title are substituting for. I know that I am alone in many circles and would also be considered a prude, maybe even in yours. That’s okay because if you knew that I dislike strongly (word substituted for hate) the word c**p you might really consider me over-the-hill. But I do hope you will still finish reading this post because if that is all you see…then you have missed it. It is sort of like the pastor who was preaching and said, “Many of you have neighbors who are going to hell and you don’t give a d**n.” Then after a pause of shock on the face of his crowd he said, “And many of you are more upset about my use of d**n than you are about your neighbors going to hell.” There may be some of you who are more upset about my little quirks about the use of (what I consider) ill-used words than what this post is really about.
This past weekend two posts highlighted something that has been in my craw for several weeks now but I just didn’t know what to write or say. Please stop and take a look here and here to see what has “inspired” this post. Ed’s post and Jason’s post are not really that far apart when you get to thinking about it. Ed’s is about the “meanness” of Christians; while Jason’s is about the meanness of people in general. Unfortunately, even as I write this I have to say that many Christians have to be included in Jason’s type of treatment. What really sparked the flame is a movie I watched Saturday in preparation for my Wild at Heart session this Monday: Disney’s The Kid starring Bruce Willis, in what may be his most meaningful role of his lifetime. He plays Russell Duritz, an image consultant, who tries hard to cover for the wound he received in his childhood. I do not want to give it away just in case you have never seen it, but there is a really poignant scene in which he gets into a fight on the playground with the bullies over their treatment of him and Tripod, a three-legged dog.
Yep, there it is…the bullies. It is not the point of this post to delve into whether I was bullied or not and how. The point is how we as Christians often do the bullying. Take Ed’s T-shirt post. Can you imagine a Christian-and I mean a truly committed Christ-follower- reveling in wearing a T-shirt like that? How unkind is that? Somehow I have trouble believing Jesus would wear that T-shirt and talk about love at the same time. And I just can’t imagine a Christian-a truly committed Christ-follower-taking pride in treating someone like Jason was treated. I had mixed emotions with both but especially with Jason. My blood boiled at the treatment and ached for him at the same time.
Bullying is all the rage these days but I remember reading a book by Frank Peretti back in 2001 called The Wounded Spirit (now called No More Bullies). I believe every public schoolteacher/principal/official ought to read it. I believe every pastor/youth pastor/ youth worker ought to read it. I believe every parent ought to read it. I believe every wounded person ought to read it. I am truly glad that bullying is being brought to the front (but it does sicken me that it is being used as a political platform and has Hollywood all abuzz) because no one, I repeat NO ONE, should ever be bullied. And frankly, IMHO, it should never come from the mouth or the T-shirt of a Christ-follower. Let me give you just one Scripture: “Conduct yourselves wisely toward outsiders, making the best use of your time. Let your speech always be gracious, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how you ought to answer each person.” Col.4:5-6
Well…I have said my piece. You may or may not agree with it. Now is your chance to say so. Please feel free to express your thoughts but remember verse 6 of the above verse. 🙂 I welcome your thoughts-pro or con. Special thanks to Ed for his post and to Michael for posting Jason’s on his blog.
I read those posts too and was appalled by both the tactless tshirt and the treatment some of us are forced to live with.
We should all be lifting people up – never tearing down. Love that scripture and I will add that book to my “To Read” list.
I have to totally agree Kim. If we would do more lifting up things would be a whole lot better. It is a good book to add. Not a long one but a good one.
I have never read it, but I added it to my list. It seems like it is an important book…especially dealing with the amount of people we deal with. Also, thank you for sharing Jason’s testimony.
Glad to hear that you have added it to your list Michael, especially after hearing of your friendship with Jason. I was glad to be able to share his testimony. You are a good friend, one that he has needed.
Back at the church where I came from there was a 12 year old boy who had been bullied for years at the christian school there. He would go to the teachers asking for their help and all he got was ” it will build your character and toughen you up.”
Last year he took his dad’s gun and shot himself..yes he has 12 and he was in a Christian school.
It makes me sick. You are right on …never ever should bullying ever be tolerated. Ever.
WOW Julie a 12 year old! I know bullying has no age limit but that is way too early. Those teachers ought to be fired or at least reprimanded. Thanks for the comment.
I think the t-shirt is mean and it is where trying to be too relevant. It is just plain sad.
Read Jason’s story last night and it is again sad what happens to people when people bully others. Lifting up is definitely the goal and it needs to shouted from the roof tops.
It is sad Jim that “relevance” can be such poor taste. Thanks for the comment.
I’m not about tearing people down, but chances are you’ve seen a few of those “words” over on my blog. I believe I heard the same sermon you mention up above and I LOVED it.
People aren’t paying attention. Especially Christians, sleeping in the pews every Sunday and I’m all for whatever it takes to wake them up and maybe, just maybe go visit that lost neighbor.
Toby: I really am not trying to point fingers. I can’t really tell you where I see the words since I read so many blogs. I read them and I hear them from the pulpit which sickens me even more. However, I know sometimes things are said for shock value. While not my cup of tea I can’t answer for others. I tried it once in an illustration years ago and it was so “not me” that I never felt comfortable with it again. Words are powerful. Thanks for the comment.
Side: folks if you did not check out Toby’s blog last week you missed some “heavy” posts on Ladies Week. Take some time to listen.
For the record, I didn’t read anything hear that I thought was pointed at anyone in particular :-).
And thanks! Indeed a heavy week last week and well worth the 2 months it took to put it together.
*here* not hear 🙂
I cannot believe someone actually made that t-shirt, why anyone, especially a person who calls themselves a Christ follower would wear this is beyond my realm of thinking. And, Jason’s blog made me very sad and mad. Working in a high school, I keep my eyes peeled for bullying and report it right away, then I will follow up to see if anything was done. There are a lot of hurting kids in high schools all across this country, these kids will grow up to be hurting adults who most likely will exhibit some form of destructive behavior, either to others or themselves. If those who aren’t believers are to see the love of Christ, we christians must lift people up, encourage them & not tear them down. That’s a great verse, another one for my memory bank. I will be looking for that Frank Peretti book. We adults who work in these schools need to be aware of how we treat students, even the ones we may not like very much. I am very passionate about this subject of bullying.
Jan: I know your heart is soft toward those who are hurting. I can see you on the lookout. someone needs to be. Keep those eyes open. That book is a good one to have. stay passionate.
Bill, this just solidifies my resolve to pour all of my energy into making sure the people around me are loved, regardless of who they are or what they’re like. I want to be like Jesus– who loved the unloveables– like Zaccheus and Mary Magdalene and Simon Peter and the woman caught in the act of adultery and ME. Thanks for sharing this.
Sarah: after reading your blog (which I encourage all of you to do) I knew I had touched a nerve that Christ-followers need to get involved in. I am glad you are. You have a voice and have experienced the pain of this. Thanks for taking the time to read my post and commenting.
I despise that word, even tho it passes through my own lips sometimes. Christians who regard it as okay should really remember what it is a reference to. Come on, there’s no excuse for that being the way we roll.
No argument here Bernard! Thanks for the comment!
You haven’t hit a nerve or anything have you?! Wow. lots of comments so far. Well I’ve been bullied – even yesterday. Our church had a meeting about the results of a church survey we did, and when I made a comment about sunday school from a study I heard, a member made the comment “We’ve tried that before and look where it got us!” Which in turned about 40 people laughed at me her making fun of me, which made me feel, once again, like the paid youth babysitter, and not a pastor on staff who works with youth.
Man jay. My heart was wrenched for this, for you. I still don’t know what makes people “get off” on something like this! Probably makes you want to take off as well. i also wonder where the pastor was to defend you. But that is another story. you have my prayers on this one. Thanks for being honest and taking the time to comment. Anyone else want to chime in?
Well we are without a pastor right now, that is why we were having this meeting. But as you say, that is another story.
I see. So you are the “Junior” guy whom they can push around. Don’t know your situation but I might consider looking around. Just my .02 worth. There still was no call for that. and I am willing to bet the woman who did it felt very good and it made her feel “big.” Grrrr
who knows. maybe 🙂
Jay, as a thirty-something pastor’s daughter who has worked in ministry for most of my adult life, I can completely identify with what you experienced. Obviously, there’s more to the story than you have space to tell here. I just want you to be encouraged. Her response to your idea probably had more to do with her own faith level (or lack thereof) than anything to do with you at all. If anything, it should spark you to pray for her. And if you already are, to pray MORE fervently for her. Our God is big enough to change her heart or move you out of there or do something else really big and unexpected that will blow all of our minds. BE ENCOURAGED!!
Way to go Sarah! You took a different route than me. I like yours better. 🙂 Hope jay comes back and reads it.
well thank you very much. I’ll try and keep my head up!
Hi Bill,
“hurt people, hurt people” I think this is what was mentioned in a part of Jason’s blog on your link here.
There is no doubt that bullying is mean,violent,unacceptable, and outrageous conduct that is allowed to go on in our schools against vulnerable youth. It’s a big problem here in Canada too. Everything possible should be done to stop it.
One of the surprising things that was said on a documentary tv program that I saw about bullying was that popular, liked, honor students within schools were the most likely to be the bully. What??
I think what this epidemic of bullying shows is that the ethical, moral, and just, state of our society and our 2 nations of Canada and USA is rapidly deteriorating. Bullying occurs everywhere. In buisness, personal relationships, in the law courts, in policing,in organizations, churches, and schools. Everywhere.
How should Christians respond? Can we avoid this type of behaviour? My belief is that the more we grow in Christ and stand apart from the world, the more persecution and targeting and bullying we will be subject to. We can see that in the experiences of the apostle Paul in preaching the gospel in his day. We see that in the experiences of Jesus Christ in his ministry.
Are we willing to take on this yoke? Can we suffer bullying because of our Christian faith? I think that Col 4 is a good way to respond. Love your enemies, Jesus says. Oh God, increase our faith!!
The secular teaching now in schools is that if a person stands by and watches someone being bullied without doing anything about it, they are as guilty in this crime as the bully.
As darkness increases,light is going to be much more visible. Right now the world is being tossed like a salad. What side of the drawn line are we going to come down on? The side of Jesus or the side of the bully?
Just some thoughts.
Great post Bill!
Linda: you are right. Hurting people hurt people. People who should be the most understanding are often the most hateful. I think to cover up their own pain. bullying should stop and it is going to take more people aware of the situation to make a difference. Thanks for the comment & compliment.
great thoughts, Bill. thanks for the mention.
Thanks and you’re welcome Ed. nice to have you come by.
Bill, thank you sooo much for sharing Jason’s post and site. What a true picture of what life is and the love and care that should be in our hearts. It’s a mean world and yes I too feel my blood boil when people are so mean and cold hearted as they profess to be the authoritarians of Christianity. Touched and TOTALLY wih you my friend. Keep fighting the good fight and sharing the love of Jesus!!
Michael should be thanked for giving his blog space to highlight Jason’s post. It is a mean world no doubt. Let’s all work and fight to make a difference. Thanks for coming by tom.
Thank you for linking to Michael’s site.
you are more than welcome jason. Praying for healing and for your story to be meaningful to tons of others.
Okay. Here goes. This will most likely set many of you off, but I think to be offended by the word s**** or c***, etc. is a little over the top. I am sorry, but if Christians are offended by a few words, it starts sounding pretty Pharasaic. I am sorry, but I guess I am not cut out to be an alter boy but do you really think if Jesus came back today – incognito – he would be offended by such insignificant language? Give me a break. This is why many people are so turned off by “the church” and by “Christ-followers”. Sometimes that is why people avoid us as Christians. Maybe we need to tone down our sesitivities so we can better reach out to a hurting world… maybe I am uncomfortable in church because I will never be as good as the rest of you. Why are people uncomfortable in the church? Because most of them cannot say honestly, I never cuss when I am mad. I heve never had a drink, drug or smoke. If Christians are offended by the word “crap”, they will never accept me for the terrible things I have done in my life. Wow. Sorry if I offend, it is not my intention.
JAC: since I know you and can talk to you personally we can do this face to face however, I do want to help the folks see where I am coming from since it obviously was pointed at my statement. I know the words s*** and C*** are commonly used today. That doesn’t mean I have to like them. People use F*** and some other words regularly but I don’t have to like them either. Now…just because I don’t like those words doesn’t make me Pharisaic. Unless it using God’s name in vain or totally tasteless given the company, I have never publicly (to my knowledge) corrected or denounced someone who uses words that I will not use. If asked i will give my opinion but then again it is now in the other person’s ballpark. The thing is I don’t cuss when I get mad nor have I ever had a drink, smoked or took drugs. Swear in the past? Yes. Speak out of turn? Yes. Looked at porn? Ongoing battle (why I have Covenant Eyes on my computer). Sometimes lose my heart for God? Yes. Turned away? No because God’s grace will accept me no matter what I have done.
I also saw people more upset about the meanness of the T-shirt (which definitely backs up your idea about what people think of the church) than the word itself. While the word bothers me, the meanness of the shirt makes my blood boil. If I was a non-believer than “t” would totally turn me off. (Check out Ed’s blog for the “t”).
I love you my friend. (are guys allowed to say that to each other? Sure they are when they are a band of brothers) 😛
I read the blogs, the tee shirt in question is truely tasteless! I just think that we often get caught up in the trivial matters while the world around us explodes. I was not aiming at you specifically. No question, I am not a very good example most of the time, but I do have an opinion. Discourse is good. I love you too.
I totally agree with you JAC. We major in minors! And all the while people around us never hear about christ and His life-changing message. Your opinion is always welcomed! 🙂