Disappointment & Forgiveness

Written by cycleguy on February 27th, 2011

Thanks to all of you who prayed for me and the church community I pastor.  We had a good Sunday of worship and learning.  For those who read and commented on my last post (this one),  I thought I would show you great decisiveness by letting you know I actually showed two video clips.  The first I showed was the scene, using the DVD version from The Two Towers, Gandalf the White’s confrontation with Grima and Suraman, and ultimately King Theodan’s transformation.  I also showed this scene as an introduction to the transformation that takes place when we “put off the old and put on the new.”   I showed real decisiveness…I showed both because I couldn’t make up my mind which one to use.  😛

Now for some thoughts for you to consider.   I think one of the hardest things to do is to forgive ourselves.  In all honesty, many of us find it easier to forgive someone who done us wrong, than we do forgiving ourselves for some wrong we have done.  How many times have you heard or said, “God just can’t forgive me for what I have done.  How can He possibly forgive me for (you fill in the blank).   So we A-S-S-U-M-E God would not want to be around us.  In fact, we run it through our heads that God has to be extremely disappointed in us.

NOTHING. COULD. BE. FURTHER. FROM. THE. TRUTH!!

You see, I think it is a lie of the enemy to suggest that God is disappointed in us when we stumble.  In fact, I would go right on to say that this guilt-and-shame tactic is from the pit of hell and smells like smoke (to borrow Steve Brown’s words).  The enemy uses that lie to keep us wallowing in self-condemnation.   If he can keep us ineffective because we feel we deserve to be on the sidelines, then he is winning a victory.  This type of guilt is used by the legalists and the self-proclaimed “Christian walk” police to keep their people under their thumb.  In fact, I propose that these type of “shepherds” (term used loosely) are not really shepherds at all  but wolves in sheep’s clothing.  Oh man, I can hear them fuming now and the see the steam coming out of their ears if they were to hear, read or be told that.  They would be fuming with “We are not wrong.  We have it right!”  To that I would say, “Aaaah yeah, and how much swampland can I sell you in Arizona?”

You see: if God is disappointed then that means He is not Omniscient (All-knowing).  It is to say that God does not know what is to happen.  (I believe that is called Open Theism and trust me when I say I will not embrace that).  Here’s the point: you don’t have to walk around with guilt or fear that you have disappointed God.  He wants your focus elsewhere…on Him…and not looking at yourself in self-condemnation over your actions.   Do you question that?  Then check out Jesus’ parable in Luke 15 of the loving father eagerly looking for his son.  His actions, when he sees his son, do not translate (least in my book) to a disappointed father.

This has gone on long enough (perhaps too long in “blog law”).   What are your thoughts?  Agree or disagree, I would love to hear what you are thinking.

 

15 Comments so far ↓

  1. lindaM says:

    Hi Bill,
    I would say that ‘disappointed’ is likely not the right word. But I believe that there are times when we can grieve the Holy Spirit, and put God’s patience to the test so to speak.
    When we are sons of God we can expect that we will be disciplined if we are straying. This is not for our punishment but for our instruction to the paths of life.

    I believe that God is always willing to work with someone who is of a repentant and humble heart. It seems that in the Bible we can ‘grieve’ the Holy Spirit.

    This is heartbreaking. We do not want to do this. Our love for God should help us to avoid doing this with all of our power and might. We do not want to hurt the Holy Spirit. He is too good for that. We want to call upon the name of the Lord in our weakness and cry out to God for his mercy and grace in our lives.

    We certainly do not want to continue in sin if we are aware of changes that we need to make. We want God to make these changes. We need to cry, wail, and grieve over our sin before God and petition Him relentlessly to free us from the power of these sins.

    Fasting I believe is helpful. We deprive our fleshly desires and teach it who is boss.

    (New International Version, ©2010)
    Psalm 78:40
    How often they rebelled against him in the wilderness
    and grieved him in the wasteland!

    Isaiah 63:10
    Yet they rebelled and grieved his Holy Spirit. So he turned and became their enemy and he himself fought against them.

    Ezekiel 6:9
    Then in the nations where they have been carried captive, those who escape will remember me—how I have been grieved by their adulterous hearts, which have turned away from me, and by their eyes, which have lusted after their idols. They will loathe themselves for the evil they have done and for all their detestable practices.

    2 Corinthians 12:21
    I am afraid that when I come again my God will humble me before you, and I will be grieved over many who have sinned earlier and have not repented of the impurity, sexual sin and debauchery in which
    they have indulged.

    Ephesians 4:30
    And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, with whom you were sealed for the day of redemption.

    James 4:9
    Grieve, mourn and wail. Change your laughter to mourning and your joy to gloom.

  2. Michael says:

    Giving my Amen Bill!

    I just had this conversation with a former teen in my youth group from a few years back. She has strayed and wants to come back to Him, but is afraid.

  3. Our Father gives us the “freedom to fail” through His New Covenant in Christ Jesus.

    This is not an allowance or permission, mind you. It is simply a Father’s love.

    http://projectmathetes.wordpress.com/2011/02/27/monday-28-feb-2011-thankful-for-the-new-covenant/

    And by the way, Bill, I have no small sense of happiness that you went with the Gandalf scene. It really does it for me.

    You are full of surprises, Bill Grandi!

    • cycleguy says:

      I like the idea of the “freedom to fail” without it being a license to do whatever we want. My wife also says I am full of surprises. I will leave it at that. 😛 Thanks Donald.

  4. please say aloud the phrase blog law.

    Not to open a can of worms but that’s not a very accurate portrayal of open theism. Not that I’m an ardent supporter, just saying it’s difficult to sum up in a sentence. Anyway I truly think God forgives not out of any compulsion or have-to’s, but simply out of the grace that flows from his heart expressed in the undying love for his children.

    • cycleguy says:

      Charlie: I am missing that first phrase’s purpose. Enlighten me please. 🙂 I know it is difficult to sum up Open Theism in one sentence and I did an injustice in doing that. Thanks for reminding me. That, I think, is the heart of it though. I think. I definitely have no trouble agreeing with your statement about God’s forgiveness. I can stand on that all day long. Thanks.

  5. Tom Raines says:

    I certainly don’t think we ever shock Him but I am sure we disappoint Him at times. His disappointment is probably in seeing how our choices rob ourselves of His full glory. His heart breaks for us and what we rob ourselves and others of. Grace is not permission but it is wonderful to know He welcomes us back after we stray. Thanks, Bill!

  6. dustin says:

    Bill, this post is great. With the high schoolers that I help out with this is a common theme that they ask about. I appreciate your wise words and encouraging thoughts!

    • cycleguy says:

      Thanks Dustin. I can only imagine what struggles the teens must face in regards to this. We adults have trouble and we are supposed to be mature. I admire guys like you who volunteer their time to work with youth. Thanks.

  7. I know that He delights in me.

    He brought me out into a spacious place; he rescued me because he delighted in me. PS 18:19

    Great thoughts Bill…bless ya!

  8. One of the reasons some are unable to love their neigbor as the love themselves is that they do not love themselves. Forgiving ourselves is part of loving ourselves. It needs to be done.