Abraham Lincoln is credited with saying, “It is better to keep your mouth closed and thought a fool, than to open it and remove all doubt.”
The converse to that is found in Proverbs 10:19: “When words are many, transgression is not lacking, but whoever restrains his lips is prudent.”
Bob Goff in Love Does puts it this way:
I used to think I should talk about everything, but now I know it’s better to keep some things a secret.
Yeah, Bob, where were you when I was younger? 
I grew up with a terrible disease. It oozed out of my past. It “rained” on my present. It clouded my future.
IT. IS. CALLED. FOOT-IN-MOUTH. DISEASE.
Tragedy is? I am not completely cured. You know those kind of people. Maybe you are one. Speak before you think. It is almost like I needed a mechanism that slapped me upside the head with the words: “Engage brain before mouth.” In an effort to hide much of my insecurity, I joked. Okay, so they weren’t funny to the people I hurt, but I thought they were. I teased…mercilessly at times. I rubbed it in…not too far…just down to the heart. I once had someone describe my condition more accurately than I had ever heard it before: “I assumed a familiarity that was not there.” OUCH! That hurt! But it was true. Assuming a “friendship” that was not there; assuming a “likability factor” that definitely was not there, I blistered people with my off-handed, sometimes off-color risque’ remarks. I am not proud to say those things about myself. I cringe at some of the ways I expressed myself and embarrassed those I love.
I also shared things with people I had no business sharing. That is the gist of Goff’s quote. There are just some things that ought not be told to anyone, especially in public. Some things need to remain private, unless, of course, you are seeking help or being accountable to a trusted friend.
Something else needs to be a secret: when you do something for God, especially when it is for someone else. No need to hang a banner. No need to seek recognition. No need to look for accolades, pats-on-the-back, or even remuneration of some kind. Better to be kept a secret. God knows and He is the only One who really needs to know.
Have you ever struggled with foot-in-mouth disease? Have you conquered it? How? Do you have trouble opening your mouth without an invitation?
This is part of my ongoing series of posts on Love Does by Bob Goff. You can read others by starting here and reading further. No need for me to keep talking about it. 
Interesting that this comes up- I tend to not say a lot (I know- shocking) when it comes to confrontational issues- just not my thing. I expressed an opinion on the movie Magic Mike over on FB expecting to lose friends and get lambasted- to my surprise neither came. In fact, I had several people who told me I gave them things to think about- did it change their view- no clue- that wasn’t why I said what I did.
Now, the focus over on a lot of my friends’ statuses is the brouhaha over what Dan Cathy has said regarding CFA and their stance on a certain hot button issue. I know how I feel, I know what I want to say, but am trying to figure out the “right” way to say it- because if I bring my faith into it- I am narrow minded. If I bring my values and the fact that i agree into it- I am considered a bigot and ignorant. The thread on the CFA page is over 20,000 posts- quite a lof of them bashing Ghristianity and the stance that those who have expressed agreement with Cathy have taken. So, what to say and how to say it? Love is what I want to express…
Since not on FB not sure what you said about MM, but I know for a fact it was not in favor of it.
I think I know my daughter. Also not sure what Dan wrote about CFA. Gonna have to check that out.
http://www.latimes.com/business/money/la-fi-mo-chick-fil-a-gay-20120718,0,3020372.story
Read something about this right after I commented. Thanks for the link.
The older I get the more I resist the opportunity to make a fool out of myself.
But I occasionally revert to my old form.
“When people believe that you may be a fool, it is wise to keep you mouth shut in order to avoid removing all doubt.”
Wisdom is supposed to come with age. Let’s hope it continues for both of us Steve.
Hi Bill,
I have definitely done this a few times. Two times in particular where I should have remained quiet until I heard what the other person wanted to say. They were lost opportunities to perhaps change the direction of our broken family.
It is wise to choose our words carefully. It is wise to listen carefully before speaking advice.
It is wise to perhaps keep some things about sin under our hat, so to speak.
However,there are times to speak up and reveal wickedness. Abusers want secrecy. Churches who are abusive often use the ‘don’t gossip’ message to keep members from speaking to one another about serious problems with the church.
Sexual abusers want secrecy. They threaten their victims with harm to them or their loved ones if they tell someone what has been happening to them.
This wicked world knows how to be abusive. Hiding our ‘secrets’ is the correct thing to do. Put on that ‘all is well’ we are taught. People won’t like you if they know that you have ‘problems’ that are difficult to solve.
Perhaps so, but problems cannot be solved without disclosing them to someone. Sins have to be admitted and help has to be sought. Faults have to be confessed to particular people and forgiveness sought.
Crime has to be reported and prosecuted. One of the main difficulties is that those who have knowledge of crimes do not say anything because of fear of repercussions to themselves.
Jesus says that whatever we have been hiding will be shouted from the rooftops one day.
Are secrets really a good thing? I don’t think so. We shouldn’t need to have to keep secrets. Sin is what demands secrecy from us and from others.
No place for secrets when “revealed” in the right way. Even when that happens choosing our words carefully is so important.
I think we definitely need to watch our words carefully. I know a few people who, if I just give them time, will tell me everything I need to know about things they have no business telling me.
I know people like that also larry. I was one of them for far too long. Def need to watch our words.
Yes words matter. I like the naval saying “Loose lips sink ships” As you stated, being humble doesn’t require a lot of words.
I had forgotten about that saying Jeff. Thanks for adding that.
Even we introverts are not immune to this disease. I am most likely to say something for which I will be sorry is when someone hurts my feelings, and if I’m not careful, I can let fly some very hurtful retaliatory reactionary words. Which never helps anything. Ever.
Sometimes, though, the Holy Spirit gives me a word or two to say that I would not, on my own, ever utter. I’m always surprised by the healing and encouragement He gives to people using someone who has such a “gift” of being able to cause so much pain with her mouth.
James, I believe, hit it right on: How great a forest is set ablaze by a small fire! And the tongue is a fire. The tongue is placed among our members as a world of iniquity; it stains the whole body, sets on fire the cycle of nature, and is itself set on fire by hell. For every species of beast and bird, of reptile and sea creature, can be tamed and has been tamed by the human species, but no one can tame the tongue—a restless evil, full of deadly poison. With it we bless the Lord and Father, and with it we curse those who are made in the likeness of God. From the same mouth come blessing and cursing. My brothers and sisters, this ought not to be so. Does a spring pour forth from the same opening both fresh and brackish water? Can a fig tree, my brothers and sisters, yield olives, or a grapevine figs? No more can salt water yield fresh. – James 3
As an extrovert, words come way too easily for me Susan. It is easy to forget introverts have that problem from time to time. It is good that you allow the HS to give you good words.
Amen Bill…God wants to release our voice but it’s for blessing people. He wants us to discover our voice but it’s more than words, it’s the sound that restoration makes…it’s the building of lives together.
Thanks again for the vunerability you display…the Father is please with that kind of heart.
I like that Jay…releasing our voice for blessing people…restoration. Yeah, that is what is about. Thanks for the kind words.
The Abraham Lincoln quote is one of my favorites. I try my best, with the help of Christ, to listen twice as much as I speak.
Not only do I like that quote I also need to practice what you are talking about. Good to hear from you Pamela.
You know, I’m pretty decent about this. Occasionally I’ve set stupid stuff, but for the most part I’m pretty decent about being tactful. To be honest, I don’t know where it came from, heh. It’s funny you mention this because this is one trait I want to make sure to develop in my kids.
What a great trait to develop in your children…early. Love that you are being proactive with it.
We’re to peas in a pod it seems… I still struggle with much of the same, although keeping my mouth shut over certain things is one area I’ve gained some ground.
Most people struggle to speak, even on behalf of their faith. I find that to be the easy part for me. My struggle is keeping my mouth shut and leave room for God’s spirit sometimes…
I have only God to thank for the changes that have happened. Strangely, I am one who struggles with speaking about my faith sometimes.
Hi Bill,
I think the issue is with the LGBT organization. This organization wants acknowledgment from all people that lesbian, gay, bi-sexual and transsexual persons are not engaged in sin. That this is a normal, natural occurance that people experience. That there is no harm to anyone by people participating in this sexual ‘preference’.
This is like saying that there is no harm done to people by adultery or prostitution or any other kind of sexual sin. This viewpoint is what Christianity opposes. But organizations have made it a person to person conflict. ‘If you don’t agree with us, then you are hateful’. Organizations bring the fight down to the grass roots level, when the fight should be at the top eschelons of power.
In fact the Bible says that we are wrestling with wickedness in high places. Pulling down the strongholds of the devil.
We can show love and compassion to the person, but not to the ‘sanctity of sin’ that is being asked for. (demanded and legislated actually in our countries).
We definitely fight against an unseen enemy. I applaud Dan Cathy and CFA. I am sure they will take heat from it.
I don’t applaud Dan Cathy’s bigotry but I do respect his right to his prejudices.
i will respectfully disagree with you jeff. I don’t consider Dan’s stand as bigotry. I consider it a stand for the biblical stance for marriage. It is always interesting to me that when someone says something against Christians or their stand there is hardly ever a cry against it, but when a Christ-follower takes a stand he is suddenly anathema. Those who claim tolerance have suddenly become the most intolerant.
I too respectfully disagree. As bigotry is defined “Bigotry is the state of mind of a “bigot”, a person obstinately or intolerantly devoted to his or her own opinions and prejudices, especially one who exhibits intolerance or animosity toward members of a group.” I will defend the use of the word in this instance.
It wasn’t that long ago that Christians took a Biblical stand that slavery was not immoral. I think tolerance has changed some of those Biblical thoughts over time.
I also defend Mr. Cathy’s right to have whatever prejudices he wants and run his business however he wants.
I just feel justice requires all people be treated equal irregardless of religious belief.
I absolutely loved this post. I think it might be my favorite of yours thus far that I have read. It speaks directly to who I was … err … who I still am. The line about “assuming a familiarity that was not there” just resonated with me. I loved this post not because you are afflicted but because it helped express some ideas that I struggle with and why this part of me is so problematic.
I am humbled Daniel that you would say those words. Glad though that it resonated within you. Is there a club we can join like Talkers Anonymous or something or Foot-Eaters Anonymous?
Keep allowing God’s Spirit to work on you.
I had a friend utter the words “There are two topics that will give you a black eye: religion and politics.”
So what are we supposed to do, since those two topics are actually the only ones we have in the world?
Hi Bill,
I took a look at the Magic Mike facebook site.
From what is posted on this site I think this movie is all about stirring up the flesh and senualness. These two things oppose godliness.
This movie is ‘fire’, plain and simple. There is also a sense of mystery to this movie about how the guys will do their stripping and dancing. (I think that us older ones can imagine a typical senario that might be played out in the stripping dances).
Does this movie have its’ pull to go and see it? For sure. But, common sense has to prevail in our decision making.
Women: The facebook site for Magic Mike says that the female extras in this movie may be facing divorce after their men see what they did in the movie.
Can we have it all? Can we participate in ungodliness and continue to keep our faith in God?
God says marriage is the ideal place for a woman in her sexual relationship with a man. This marriage provides security, children, family, a lifelong partnership and friendship and love.
Magic Mike offers a 2 hour titilating sensual experience that arouses the fallen nature of ourselves (our old man) to dominate our thoughts, emotions and physiology for an extended period of time. This is highly dangerous and possibly addictive for us over this length of time.
Is this the road and direction we want our life to go? Is this really about fun? Whose fun? The devil’s fun? He’ll be there watching, seeing who his next victim will be.
Bill,
I think there may be a very strong demonic spirit attached to this movie titled, Magic Mike. There is definitely something very unsettling that is still affecting me after a few minutes of looking at the facebook site. I can’t imagine the demonic spirit’s pull while watching the actual 2-3 hour movie.
This is a movie for women and men to run from, in the opposite direction with all their might. For their own lives’ sakes.
My brother wrote about it on his FB site (I have not seen it since I do not have FB). I have also seen other blogs about it. I would agree with you that it is something that men and women (both followers of Christ and non-followers) need to run from. Here is one blog: http://www.robshep.com/2012/07/02/this-friday-im-going-to-see-strippers-and-why-i-only-read-playboy-for-the-articles/
I read your brother’s piece about MM on fb & applauded it! I am guilty of the foot & mouth disease, mostly with my family….brain doesn’t engage before speaking! I have been working on changing this, trying to think “is what I’m about to say going to glorify Jesus?” “would he be happy with what’s about to come unfiltered out of my big mouth?” I admit. Even after these thoughts, I go ahead & let the comment fly, but it’s becoming less often, for which I give all the glory to God on that! And, I just have to say that I don’t feel like I’m a bigoted person just because I don’t agree with homosexuality, transgender or other hot topic issues…..I don’t slam people for this, nor would I shun them, in fact, I am friends with a few people who are gay and a person who is transgendered. While I don’t agree with them, I just befriend them & love them anyway. It’s just not in me to shun people.
Funny thing is- since I am not on FB I have no clue what my brother wrote.
Good questions to ask before we speak Jan. Agree on the latter comment.