Only a person living under a rock or just born yesterday has not heard or been affected by the devastating murder spree in Aurora, CO this past weekend. My insides do flip-flops and die just a little more when I hear of scenes like that. Columbine. 9/11. Virginia Tech.
BUT THIS POST IS NOT ABOUT AURORA. IT IS ABOUT SOMEONE I LISTENED TO BEING INTERVIEWED.
It was 1999 when Eric Harris and Dylan Klebold made their way into Columbine High School and eventually began what became known as the Columbine Massacre. Included in the dead were two female students, Cassie Bernall and Rachel Scott. Rachel was the first one killed, having been shot 4 times while sitting outside. Rachel’s father, Darrell, and brother (Craig) later spent a lot of time traveling around talking about Rachel’s Challenge. The other night, during a broadcast of the Aurora tragedy, the hostess talked with Craig about Columbine. Craig admitted to her (and to the world) that while he made appearances with his father, he was being eaten up by anger for Eric and Dylan. He related how he finally came to grips with it and released his anger, quoting the old adage:
“Forgiveness is when you free the prisoner and realize the prisoner was you.”
I confess that is not word-for-word so please don’t quote me. 
However, I had tears rolling down my cheeks as I saw a young man (now age 29) tell the world that anger and hatred will ruin a person’s life. It puts a person in a prison that has no physical walls. I think a prison in our spirit can be even more devastating than one of four walls and a locked door. The guard opens the cell door. Only a person willing to let go of hurt and anger can open the door of his own making. Let me rephrase that: a person willing to let go of hurt and anger can allow the Holy Spirit to release him from the prison of his own making. Is it easy? Absolutely not. Does Craig have no thoughts anymore of Rachel and the loss of his sister? I highly doubt it. But his freedom came when he forgave Eric and Dylan for killing the one student who never turned her back on Dylan. I thought of that interview when I read these words again from Bob Goff:
I used to think there were some prisons you couldn’t escape, but now I know there’s no place I can go where God can’t rescue us.
Craig found that release from prison. As Bob says, “God pursues us into whatever dark place we land and behind whatever locked door that holds us in. “ (p.181) We all have dark places. We might all have locked doors in our heart. God pursues us there, not to beat the door down, but to lift us into freedom…the freedom of His love, His grace, His purpose, and His life.
Do you find yourself in prison from anger and hatred? Do you have a story to tell how God brought you out of one? I’d love to have you share it in the comments.
This is a post on my ongoing series based on Love Does by Bob Goff.
I know that I still hold anger and hatred within me. For some reason, I have been (mostly) able to let my anger for other’s actions go, but I am unable to let go of my anger with myself. Anger associated with my inadequacy, anger with my apathy, anger with my cowardice, anger with my lack of wisdom, anger with my selfishness. I am still waiting to work my way out of the cell that I have constructed in my own mind. That said, I am still looking for opportunities and means to escape.
Sometimes anger with ourselves is the hardest to let go of. Some anger for self is good, but some is adverse. The telling part is which is which and what will we do?
Have been in that room. It’s an ugly room. Don’t wanna go back. Ever.
I read a wonderful blog post this morning related to the shooting. It was very encouraging. Here it is: http://bstrait.wordpress.com/2012/07/22/a-miracle-inside-the-the-aurora-shooting-one-victims-story/
I read this today too- I had tears rolling down my face as I read it. I think it resonated with me because of the health issue that has come up within the last few years that was there when I was born- I never knew it was there until there was one little incident that led to the CT scan that led to the finding. Now, while mine is definitely not like hers I just kept thinking of how God orchestrated those events just like he orchestrates every event in my life- even when it doesn’t seem to make any sense.
Thank you for sharing that, Tami. Yes, I cried, too.
All I can say is WOW! What an amazing God! I know some will pooh-pooh it as luck or chance or whatever, but this is most definitely God. And yes, there were tears.
Bill, you know I’ve struggled with some anger and bitterness over the past year or so. I’ve xome to realize that I just feel sorry for the people who I’ve been angey with. They won’t let it go any more than me. I’m tired of being trapped like them. I’m moving on.
Feeling sorry for people who hurt is one step in the right direction Larry. Glad to hear you are moving on.
Hi Bill,
the Aurora shooting was terribly shocking, and yet we know that there is likely more of this kind of occurance to happen.
These actions are from the minds of people that have been twisted and distorted. In the Bible we are exhorted to take on the mind of Christ. The only other option for us is that we will take on the mind of perversion and distortion and lies.
I greatly prefer the mind of Christ myself. How do we get the mind of Christ? Read the Word, the Bible. Let the Holy Spirit work in us.
If we don’t do this, we will be going downhill spiritually, mentally, emotionally. There is no other direction for us to go in. We will draw closer to the devil and his way of thinking. We have to take these things seriously.
How to encourage the Holy Spirit to work in us? Pray. Seek the face of God. Ask for changes to be made in us. Respond to God’s word. Obey him.
When shoppers want a good bargain they line up for hours outside the department store doors. They push and shove to try and get in the door before someone else does. This is the behavior we need to exhibit toward the things of God. We have to want them.
God does pursue us, but to what extent? I went 20 years as a young person without seeking God. He’ll give us all the time we want to make a decision.
yes, I’ve had to forgive. I’ve told some of my story here before about forgiving my mother, and asking my mother to forgive me. I did release myself from prison through the power of God’s Word and the Holy Spirit and my own actions of obedience to God.
I caught myself just a few days ago saying something nasty about my former husband to someone in the public. I was surprised to find myself saying such a thing and recognized that there was animosity and anger in my words.
It’s like I’ve been given a heads up by the Holy Spirit to watch myself and ask God to help me in this situation through my prayer to him.
By the way, God was faithful to get me home on Saturday evening after my son’s wedding in Edmonton. I had a little less than a 1/2 tank of gas when I started out on the highway to Edmonton in the morning. It’s about 80 miles to Edmonton. I left Edmonton destined for home Saturday evening and forgot to check the gas tank to see how much gas I had left. On the way home my gas light came on, a sign I read a short time later said that the nearest town was about 30 miles from where I was. I made it all the way right up to the gas pump.
All the while I was driving with my gas light on I thought of your story Bill, of when God kept your car running all the way home from a speaking engagement. The reality was, you should have run out of gas. I think my reality was, I should have run out of gas before I got to the gas station.
I was wearing a dress and skimpy golden sandals. I didn’t have a cell phone to make an emergency call to the AMA to get gas brought to me out on the highway. There was only country to be seen, and a here and there building set far back from the highway.
Thank you Jesus. I was praising the Lord!
Glad to hear you got home safely Linda. Another testimony to God’s goodness for sure. Also so glad you gained freedom by forgiving. It is not done in our own strength.
Hi Bill,
The sign said there were 58 kilometers to the next town. I checked the conversion from kilometers to miles. I travelled 36.04 miles after my gas light came on.
Answer:
1 mile = 1.609 344 kilometers
1 kilometer = 0.621 miles
58 kilometers = 36.04 miles
Glad you figured that out for me Linda cuz I don’t know kilometers.
I can do miles, or I can do kilometers – I don’t do both. Living in Portugal for 11 years, I just lived the metric system.
The best example I can think of was the tragic killing of several Amish girls in Lancaster Pa. a while back. The Amish community immediatly went onto forgiveness mode and showed concern and compassion for the perpetrators family and their well being. Maybe they are dismissed as a cult but I think they showed their way of living their beliefs.
That is a great example jeff. I had forgotten all about that one in my list of tragedies. Thanks for bringing their actions to us. It is definitely an example.
I’ve shared many times on my blog and through countless speaking opportunites that forgiveness frees US from the prision of regret, bitterness and pain. Forgiving my abusive father was the most freeing thing I’ve even done (toughest also) but it was necessary for the healing process to begin and take hold in my life.
Well done to that young man…that takes real courage.
I love hearing your story jay. It is a testimony to the power of God’s healing.
I can’t imagine living with the things that Craig and the other family members from CO are. My heart breaks and I even struggle with the forgiveness for them.
In my world that isn’t in the same stratosphere, it is a constant fight to deal with the crooks and thieves I deal with daily. I know God is using it for a reason and it certainly forces me to seek His will to let go of the flesh.
This ain’t the Garden of Eden is it?
The scope of the tragedies goes beyond me also Floyd. Well said at the end.
I’ve battled unforgiveness before. It wasn’t strong enough to really be a prison, but it did sour some friendships. The key for me was when I realized that forgiveness is not condoning what was done but merely relinquishing my “right” to seek retribution – choosing instead to give that to God.
Your idea of forgiveness is so well put Loren. Not condoning but relinquishing. Yeah, that’s good.
Thank you Susan for posting that blog site….after reading it, I was overjoyed. Yes, overjoyed because of what is happening in Petra’s life. I have been praying that someone would come to know Jesus as a result of this horrible event in Colorado. You never know whose “miracle” will lead someone to Jesus.
Halleuiah Jay! That is awesome that you’ve been released from your anger prison. I’m happy that you’re healing!
I have definitely been a prisoner of anger & realized when I let it go, I felt free. I realized that the few with whom I was angry with are just like me, a child of God, who sin & need forgiveness. When I started seeing these people in my own mirror, then did I begin to experience forgiveness & the anger dissolving.
GREAT post Bill. Very important.
And, I was at Riverton Parke H.S. when Darrell Scott came to speak, it was a very powerful message & afterwards we were allowed to take groups of students & pray with them. Some kids came to Jesus that night.
So glad you have found that freedom Jan. Since I know your story that makes it all the more beautiful.
Powerful stuff, Bill. Thanks for shedding light on this idea of “self-imprisonment”. What a challenge.
Thanks Stephen. “self-imprisonment” is a good word.