QUICK QUIZ…….
Have you ever met someone who exudes a negative attitude?
OR….
Have you ever met someone who exudes a positive attitude?
Who would you rather spend time with? Silly question isn’t it? Unless we spend our days getting up on the wrong side of the bed, none of us enjoy spending time with a person whose life centers around negativity and cynicism. If you do, well….
We hear a lot about attitude and its importance. I certainly won’t deny that. I can’t even count on all my fingers and toes how many times I have heard in one form or another “Attitude is everything.” There is no doubt that attitude is important, but it isn’t everything. A person can have the greatest attitude in the world but that won’t make him a good/best leader around. It won’t be the cure to a debilitating disease. I have known pastors who have the best attitude of anyone I know but their church still flounders.
A leader’s attitude is like oxygen to the body. Case in point: I am allergic to smoke. Cigarette/cigar smoke about “kills” me. Campfire smoke I tolerate a little better, but I can’t wait to get a shower and get the smell out of my hair and nostrils. (No I don’t shampoo them). 
For me to breathe in “toxic” air soon takes its toll on my ability to breathe. The same is true of attitude. My attitude shapes how I see people and life in general. A leader must have a positive attitude…
BUT THAT IS NOT ALL IT TAKES!
Attitude goes a long way, but it also helps when leaders actually like people. I once knew a leader who disliked people, and except for a few cases, disliked being around people. He was also authoritarian. While he made a good leader when it came to decision-making and policy, he was lousy when it came to sensitivity and listening. It wasn’t that he couldn’t do it; he didn’t want to. He would just as soon walk around you than stop and listen. For a church leader that is disastrous. To be autocratic and authoritarian but not like people is like…well…I can’t find the words. You see, people know when they are liked or not. They know when they are an appendage or really matter.
This whole idea doesn’t just apply to leaders. It goes for all of us. People want to know they matter to you, to me. They don’t want to be seen as a statistic, or a notch on the belt. “Yep, that is #5 for this year.” Some churches caught in the numbers game do that-perhaps inadvertently-but they do it. We can also begin to see people at “clients” or “targets,” unless we are careful. They want to know “Do I matter to you?” Of that I am absolutely positive.
How do you view people? How do you view yourself? What sort of attitude do you display?
Bill, I try my best to love and treat others well. I can tell when I don’t. I don’t like it when I feel a bad attitude toward someone creeping in.
I think what you do is about all we can do. I don’t like having a bad attitude toward others either.
This is such an overlooked quality in management or promotions to leadership position. Often its the technical expert who moves up the ladder — but the people skills aren’t in the equation. Leadership is mostly about people -motivating, developing, inspiring – and a leader who doesn’t enjoy people is going to be disastrous as a boss. We see it all the time.
Sad reality JB but true. The “gearheads” move up and have no people skills while those who do and can benefit the company in so many ways are left in the wake. Thanks for your comment.
I think the whole notion of “positive” vs “negative” is not really an idea that the New Testament mentions.
Reality vs. fantasy might be a better terms.
Realism is needed that people might realize that there really is (in the end) no hope in this world. That our lives and the life of the world are not progressing, but are being brought to an end.
Then, and only then, can we get an accurate picture of the gravity of the situation, and what God has done about it in Christ Jesus.
Thanks, Bill.
Have to admit I am somewhat lost here Steve. I don’t argue with your last statement at all, but wonder how reality vs. fantasy comes into play with dealing with others. Help me out please.
Bill,
I think we want to be grounded in reality when we deal with others. We don’t ever want to delude them into thinking that something is really possible (lasting) in this life.
So we instead of starting with life and moving towards death…we start with death and move to life.
Romans 6 does a very good job of this. The theology of the cross, it is often called.
After many of the comments Steve, it appears that I have miscommunicated. “What we have here is a failure to communicate” seems to be the line I need to say. I am not referring to people but to leaders who exude a negative “air” that rips people apart rather than builds them up. I see your point though and understand better.
People would say I usually have a positive attitude. I want my attitude to build others up and not tear them down. I work with several people with negative attitudes and sometimes I just have to walk away. It is toxic.
Sometimes the wisest thing to do is walk away. Wise choice Eileen.
I view people in three categories.
1. Family
2. Friends
3. Everyone else.
I view myself in each of those same categories, and have different feeling for the people in those categories.
I think I am always positive, friendly, upbeat even if I have good reason not to be.
As a preacher or a paid Social worker I suppose you have to view people differently as if they all might be cutomers that you need to help on a personal level. I am a businessman and feel no need to help people on a personal level or even be interested or concerned. I generally don’t even care to know about their personal concerns unless they are friends or family. I avoid other peoples drama.
I wish everyone the best of luck and wish no one ill will. I expect a level of courteousness, respect, good manners and not being a jek to me or to others and I expect to do the same.
Do I care if their grandma is sick, their cat died, their husband drinks too much, or their wife is crazy? No.
I do think you hit on an important point Jeff. As a pastor I do have to view people differently than just a customer. I need to look beyond what I see and ask, “What is going on inside their head or heart.” If I don’t care to know then I would say I am in the wrong business. But as a businessman I can see your point.
I know you care and i am pretty sure you are in the right business. Personal issues are not my thing and I think I am probably in the right business(for me).
It seems to me, we go as our spirit goes unto God. What I mean is that when we are closer to God and His will, regardless of our natural tendencies, we naturally love the things and people that God loves. How can a person love God and the things of God and not love others? It just doesn’t work.
Although I have enough of real life and especially business experience to know that most people out there will crumble pressure of the world and throw or justify their principles out the window far easier than they should, it doesn’t change my heart toward them like it used to. They are the ones searching for hope. We; the chosen of God are the ones that God shines His hope, via His Holy Spirit through us, the very reason the world is drawn to us in the first place… It’s not us! It’s Him in us.
Totally agree with your question in the first paragraph. As a follower of Christ we need to care as He did.
Hi Bill,
My 15 year old neighbor called me a couple of days ago to ask me if I would take her to the bottle depot. We ended up getting a few groceries too
She’s an unusual young woman in some ways. She has searched into religion. She tried Buddism for a while. She didn’t like it. She has friends that have different beliefs about God, about who he is, about creation, etc. While we were driving she told me that she had started reading the Bible. Genesis and Exodus. She really enjoyed reading Genesis I think.
She told me that she had gone through Y2K, the September 2001 disaster of the Twin Towers (USA), I think she mentioned a couple other things. She said ‘I never really believed that the world was going to end, but I think I believe it now’. She’s is apparently very aware of what has been happening in the world. (she didn’t get this information from me)
For the church to tell this young woman ‘force yourself to be positive about things”it’s better this way’ is ludicrous.
What she needs is a new birth in Christ, the indwelling of the Holy Spirit, a new mind in Christ, experience with God.
The church is not all negative, there are positives, but my thinking is the church in North America is worldly.
I am not AT ALL advocating positive thinking. I agree with what you say Linda but i am referring more to leaders who are negative. Leaders need better attitudes if they expect people to respond in a more welcome manner. Only through the blood of Jesus will people be made new, not by positive thinking.
Can I have ‘positive cynicism’ for $500 Alex?
Sometimes it is appropriate to convey a message that is perceived as negative… but that is different than bearing a continuous attitude of negativity.
How can we be a negative person knowing all that God has done and is doing for us?
Dusty, I gotta give it to you… That opening question was great! Too clever! Goon one.
It was a good one Floyd. Had me chuckling. I do think given some of the comments that I may have miscommunicated.
I tend to hang out more on the left side of the number line if you know what I mean. I wasn’t always this way. Life got its claws into me and that can change a man, slowly and incessantly. I also live with a bit of social anxiety disorder. The combination of negativity and avoidance of others is a disastrous combination.
I understand what you are saying Daniel. I can also see how the combination is dangerous.
Bill,
My thought off the top of my head is that it is better to talk about fear… and how the Bible teaches about fear…. than to teach someone to be positive.
I tend to agree with Steve Martin in this way. The Bible doesn’t speak about the need for postiveness in our lives. It speaks about the need to quash fear and have faith in God.
My thought is this is a better direction to go in.
Once again, I am speaking about leadership. I have not conveyed myself very well I reckon.
You’re right that the bible teaches us to have faith in God, but I would have to respectfully disagree that the bible doesn’t encourage us to be positive in our actions and thoughts.
Philippians 4:8 Finally, brethren, whatever things are true, whatever things are noble, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report, if there is any virtue and if there is anything praiseworthy—meditate on these things.
There are many more that talk about hope, joy and encouragement. Just saying.
Hi Mike,
If I remember right the Bible talks about the God of hope, the God of joy, and the God of ecouragement. He gives these things to us by the Holy Spirit, by his word, by his activity in our lives.
The bible says if you want joy you have to ask God for it. Joy is not something we train ourselves to get, like athletes who train for a goal. It’s not mind training. It’s surrender to God. It’s repentance for sin, and trust in God.
All of these are in Jesus Christ. Get Jesus, and we also get these other things. (speaking in a general way)
Just some thoughts from me. I think I know what you are saying, but I think mind training can be man trying to be his own god in his own life.
I don’t think Mike, and definitely not me, is talking about “mind training.” Not exactly sure what you mean by that, but when I read that I see “mind control” or “positive thinking.” Am I seeing your use of those two words wrong?
The bible does talk about the God of hope, the God of joy, etc. It also talks about us being joyful in the Lord. Joy, like true peace and true love is not just an emotion that is given to us because we ask for it; but it comes as a result of our faith, trust and relationship with Jesus. It is also affected by our attitude, and the decisions we make, as well as, how we choose to view people and our purpose in life. We can choose to be a positive person because we trust in God. Or we can live in fear, dread, and worry. I am a positive person, because I have a lot to be positive about; mainly my relationship with Christ. I believe I can be a brighter light for God by encouraging people, than by trying to fill them with fear. Maybe it’s just a matter of semantics with us, and how we both view being a positive Christian.
I don’t like to toot my own horn, but I have spent many years developing a positive and upbeat attitude. Don’t get me wrong, there are days that I get thrown a curve ball, but most of the time I’ve a very positive person. I don’t like to be around people who are all the time negative and critical of everyone and everything. They will tend to bring me down if I’m around them too long.
I am a whole lot like you Mike. I don’t want to spend too much time with “downer” people.
I personally believe that everyone is a leader of someone so it certainly applies to all of us! It’s hard sometimes to keep this front and center, but it’s so important. People as goals and targets while we strategize how to convert them is not God’s heart. Living intentionally as an invitation will certainly make an eternal impact. Thanks Bill.
“Living intentionally as an invitation will certainly make an eternal impact.” Excellent words Jason. thanks.
This is something I am struggling with (not necessarily by a leader but by other adults). I came to the conclusion today that I need to make sure that I am showing grace and compassion to everyone I come in contact with and my attitude will then be okay.
Oh, and by the way- this made me chuckle: ” Campfire smoke I tolerate a little better, but I can’t wait to get a shower and get the smell out of my hair and nostrils. (No I don’t shampoo them).”
It’s not just your nostrils you don’t shampoo- it’s hard to shampoo hair when you don’t have any LOL
Love you!
Showing grace and compassion is key. Especially to fathers who are dissed by their daughters.
I’ve been guilty of seeing people as “clients” before. It’s such a subtle shift, and it’s been convicting to see that in my own heart.
Easy to do Loren. No one is immune.