A number of years ago (sometime in the 70s) I read a book that revolutionized my thinking. No, not the Bible, but that qualifies. 
Like many others I had asked the “Why?” question. A lot. I was fairly young back then (in my 20s), and in my short life and ministry life I saw enough and heard enough to ask the question, “Why?” I can remember being in college and hearing about the tornado that ripped through an Ohio town called Xenia, laying a path of devastation in its wake. When I was a young Associate Pastor in Akron, OH, I met a family who had a severely deformed daughter from drugs the father took from injuries he suffered in ‘Nam- a child he wasn’t even supposed to father. I had no answer for the “Why?” when a young person died of cancer at a young age. I asked that question about events in my own life, not that any were that big.
Where was I? Oh yeah. The book. The book that literally revolutionized my thinking was “Where Is God When It Hurts?” by Philip Yancey. It featured his trademark “question” writing and was interspersed with real life stories, like Joni (paralyzed in a diving accident as a teenager). What struck me is the conclusion Yancey came to. In essence he said (and I am going at this from memory since I tragically no longer have the book), “The real issue is not why this is happening. That is not the question to ask. The question to ask is, ‘Now that this has happened, how should I react to it?’”
STOPPED ME DEAD IN MY TRACKS.
I was looking at it the wrong way. It was not about the “why?” but about the “what now?” Two different views. Life is not fair is what we say. True. Life sometimes throws us curves. Also true. What is also true, and I believe with all my heart, is that NOTHING happens without the Father knowing it, and yes, sometimes allowing it. I got to thinking about that book I read many moons ago and this whole “Why?’ thing again because of this quote I recently read:
Our lives are not determined by what happens to us, but by how we react to what happens…It is a catalyst…a spark that creates extraordinary results.
Speaking to the Corinthians about the Israelite wanderings/happenings under Moses’ leadership, Paul wrote, “Now these things happened to them as an example, but they were written down for our instruction, on whom the end of the ages has come. Therefore let anyone who thinks he stands take heed lest he fall.” I Cor.10:11-12
We can use what happens to us as a cause for asking, “Why?” or we can begin to say, “How does God want me to act now?” Use it to our growth. Use what happens to grow closer to the Father. Have you any thoughts you care to share? Agree or disagree?
I like Yancey’s re-framed question very much. So often I sit and lament and regret and waste life because of what happened in the past. I get stuck in the “why” instead of taking charge and moving forward. I will ponder on this some more. I think I will look into Yancey’s book too.
Afraid we all have spent too much time lamenting the past instead of moving on Daniel. I think you will like the book.
Back in university, there was one time when I had to write a make-up paper (because I got a B and wanted an A…) for one of the Bible classes and the theme of the paper was on suffering and how to view it. I think I came across that quote from Yancey’s book back then (or heard it from someone else…)
Ever since, whenever something happens, I try to ask that question. “What can I learn?”
However, while it’s sort of easy to learn from my personal trials, it’s far from easy to try seeing anything good when something happens to other people.
What can I learn is a good question to ask. you are right though, sometimes it is harder to watch someone else go through a tough time.
On the other hand… does that mean that I can trust God with my own life but can’t trust Him with anyone else’s? Hmmm………
I think some of what happens is we wonder how the other person is going to handle it. We feel confident in our circumstances but not too sure about theirs or their faith.
Yeah, but that starts to seem like pride… we’re sure of our faith but not sure of theirs… Ergo, “my faith is stronger than yours” sort of thing… O_o
I don’t think it is pride at all. Unless you know them really well or unless you are in their skin, it is hard to fathom what someone is thinking and experiencing. The opposite sometimes happens for me. I am amazed at the strength some show.
I like Yancey and I like the question. My view whenever tragedy strikes is “Why didn’t that happen to me? God must have something for me to do.”
Not many would ask that question Larry. Shows your spiritual maturity.
Hi Bill,
I like what Zee says about being able to trust God with our life and the lives of others we are concerned about.
I think for believers the matter is trust in God and going forward when things do happen.
I think we are living far below what God has intended for a believer in this world. Our relationship with God is largely weak in North America.
This weakness is because we have accepted too much false teaching about God. Believers have not attended to their own walk with God as much as allowing the ‘church’ to do this for them. A believer’s trust has been placed in the ‘church’ and not enough in God himself.
As believers we do have questions of ‘why’ but when all is said and done we whittle it down to trusting God for the terms of the future. This is a short life we are living in the flesh as believers.
We cannot be taught to trust God as much as we need to experience God in our lives. Is trusting in God an attitude change? Perhaps, but it is the work of the Holy Spirit (and not the work of man) that accomplishes this change in the believer.
I agree with some of what you say Linda but am not convinced that believers have put their trust in the “church.” I can’t say I agree with that. There are some who do, obviously, but for many I would say no. However, I do agree with trusting God for the future.
Powerful statement by Yancy. I totally agree with you about how we can’t chance what has happened to us but we can have a Godly mindset when it does. Great thoughts Bill.
We definitely need a godly mindset.
This is from my brother Rob:
Big brudder,
My favorite author – Philip Yancey. Have all of his writings. I don’t have his books, just my own copies.(I can be so very funny!)
It is not always just the tragedy that makes us ask “Why”?, but also the often injustice of it. Solomon wrote in Ecclesiastes 8:14 There is something else meaningless that occurs on earth: righteous men who get what the wicked deserve, and wicked men who get what the righteous deserve. This too, I say, is meaningless.
But I do think that his ultimate conclusion is the correct one, 12:13 Now all has been heard;
here is the conclusion of the matter:
Fear God and keep his commandments,
for this is the whole duty of man.
14 For God will bring every deed into judgment,
including every hidden thing,
whether it is good or evil.
The long-term view of a God of justice and compassion helps when the road ahead fogs over with unanswered questions. When you live by faith, you can drive through the fog with confidence.
Much wisdom in this. I think it is the unfairness/injustice that bugs us the most.
Note: Rob speaks from experience. i wish you could know his story.
I agree wholeheartedly. It is terrible when tragedy strikes people, but so often we want to blame God for it. Why did He let that happen? I agree we need to re-frame the mindset from why to what now? The early Christians lived no picnic.
it is easy to blame God, especially if we think he is not interested in or has any part in our world. I like the idea: re-frame the mindset.
We get so caught up in our flesh… me as much as anyone, but what does God say about our lives? They are a breath, it just doesn’t seem that way while we’re here.
Bad things can bring about incredibly great things… it’s all about striving to grasp the omnipotence of God, while we’ll never grasp it here, we should strive to know Him. I for one am grateful for the grace on me and my family… but then, I’m a weaker soul…
As a Christ-follower I should not be caught up in the flesh stuff but I do. I too am grateful for grace and I think it is wise for all of us to admit it…not just a weaker soul.
This is kind of freaky, because I just had a similar conversation with Caleb Sunday night. He is so unhappy with the way life is, the way people act, the ways of society, he wants to change “the system”, I told him the first thing he needs to change is HIMSELF and how he reacts to people/events that frustate him. I have learned through events in my life that it’s not about the why but how I react & handle what’s thrown at me. I love this post Bill!
Changing self is one of the hardest things to do jan. keep praying for him (as I know you do). He will hear and listen and respond. Glad it helped.
Our response is all we can have any influence over. Do we really believe that He works all things to good for those who love Him and are called according to His purposes? Even more basic than that, do we really believe He is good? Our response to those things determines our course. Good and thought-provoking as usual, Bill. Thanks.
You are right jason. We cannot control our circumstances, nor can we control others’ response…only our own. And as you said that is often determined by how we feel about God.
You can do both. You can ask how a benevolent, loving God would allow some of his children to have seriously crappy lives and no matter how many times they try to make good from the bad God just keeps heaping on the bad. You can live in the reality of moving forward regardless of instance and still ask God why He blesses some people who pay Him lip service and allow those who love him to face more and more difficult and misery inducing situations.
And He is not intimidated one iota with our response. He still loves us.
Agree.
With my mom’s current fight with cancer I am at that point. A lot of “why’s” but no answers. Not that I either don’t know or don’t want to hear them, but the questions are still there regardless.
Been there done that Ed. My mom died of cancer in 2004 and although I never asked “Why?” in the traditional sense, I did wonder why some die young and some don’t. Pray you will know God’s comforting presence at this time.