No…this is not a story about the TV series. I will leave that up to guys like this one. I confess: I have never watched it. Not one show. I know. Depraved Deprived. But it never appealed to me. 
I always had trouble with the alphabet generations, you know…the “X,” the “Y,” and “Z.” But, it wasn’t just the alphabet ones I had trouble with. When you pastor a small country church or a church whose median age is 60, you just don’t bother with that stuff. I do know I am a Boomer. To be honest, I wasn’t even sure what that was! Until I read a book by the Rainers called The Millenials. They delineated each generation and told their years and population. Since I pastor a fairly young church age-wise, the book was a big eye-opener for me in understanding the generation born since 1980. It explained why a huge dichotomy exists between previous ways of reaching people and why they are not working for this generation.
FOR ALL INTENTS AND PURPOSES, IF I MAY BORROW MY TITLE, THEY ARE LOST.
I am no expert on this. Others have already done the work in analyzing the situation. David Kinnaman is the best. What got me thinking though was an article I just read from a college president. He titled it Missing the Millenials and he wrote about their exodus from church. Citing Kinnaman, the author identified three groups of Millenials:
The prodigals, about 10% of those who have left, actually have lost their faith. They consider themselves no longer Christians.
The nomads, about 40% of those who have left, have abandoned the institutional church but still claim to be Christians. They are not hostile but do see the church as irrelevant.
The exiles, about 20% of those who have left, have done so out of disillusionment with the church. Unlike the others, exiles actually want faith to matter, but don’t find it from the church.
I know that is a nutshell version of a very complex group of people. They are not called the LOST generation for nothing. It is easy to look at that and either shrug your shoulders or throw your hands up in the air and say, “What’s the use?” Without a doubt it presents a challenge.
BUT IT IS NOT HOPELESS.
Previous ways of doing things don’t work. They really could care less about big monuments to celebrity personalities. They are turned off by a church that is inward-focused. Doing what we always used to do isn’t working. We need to find a way to connect with Millenials. Honestly? I have no answer. I am an old fogie to many-fast approaching 60. But I am concerned with where this lack of concern for truth will take us down the road. So…I will stop here and ask you: Got a clue? Any ideas you can share with this old man? Is your church community reaching this generation?
My current pastor taught me that even though there may be a goodly number of “young” people attending a given church, doesn’t mean they are true, deep followers of Christ. Sometimes it is just another group to be part of. When the next interesting, accepting thing comes along, off they go. I don’t know how you can tell if you are reaching any individual.
Your current pastor is so correct Daniel. While seeking a relationship with Christ, many are not followers.
The Holy Spirit is not at a loss for ideas or means of connecting generations. I believe many just want real relationships and that’s a great place to start. It’s not a strategy to get them to do anything, it’s the goal itself. In loving and serving and investing in individuals and relationships with them, we’ll see a powerful restoration in the Church. If we get our own ideas and thinking out the way, there is a world of possibilities (and that goes for every generation). Thanks Bill.
One thing about Millenials that I gathered in their desire for relationships. Real relationships not fluff. I pray for a powerful move of God’s Spirit as you have suggested.
Hi Bill,
My son is in the twentysomething age bracket and he does not attend a church. He questions some of the Christian faith and beliefs. He also is very concerned about ‘church’ control of his life. He is not willing to give any church this kind of control.
I’ve heard some say that God is moving people out of the church. Or rather, that God is moving his own out of the ‘church’. This may or may not be happening. I know in my own life, I felt that God was closing the church door to me a couple of years ago. I was glad to leave. Now I am attending a couple of services a month. Going to church services is becoming more difficult again for me.
Leadership becomes threatened at the least sign of someone questioning. Leadership is so insecure and afraid of losing something that is not theirs to start with. Leaderhsip has taken possession of the people of God as their own property. People are there to meet the needs of the leadership. The needs of the leadership are church attendance and enough money to keep functioning and keep the doors open.
We have a crisis occuring in the church. The church is unable to mature believers. I think this is what some young people are finding out and experiencing in the church after their early teenage years. They cannot find what they need for spiritual growth in the church.
Not sure about God moving his own out of the church, that may be true. Or it may not be. However, I think you need to be careful of lumping leadership into one basket. Perhaps the use of “some leaders” would be more appropriate because I know of some who are not threatened by questions. I am not driven by pride against my “authority” nor am I driven by church attendance and having enough money. i do think you are right in that we have done a lousy job of discipleship and helping others grow.
Hi Bill,
Yes there are some churches that are doing a better job than others, but it seems in a general way that most churches have lost their way. Has the new generation of twentysomethings become lost, or has the ‘institutional church’ become lost?
Very very good question Linda. Could it be a little of both? i think the answer is yes. Many of the institutional churches are so lost they need a good burial.
Brother you have ask the very question so many are asking. Here all along I thought our son was a prodigal but according to the discription in the book, Missing the Millenial he is an exiles. As his parents we have come to a place of just loving him and living our faith before him. We have a deep hope that Jared will come back someday, what will draw him we have no clue but know for sure God uses strange events to draw his children. A couple weeks ago he had his two children, (he is divorced), we were sitting down to eat, as always my husband said to Emmie, she is almost 4, you want to pray? She said no, I want Daddy to pray. As he prayed my soul jumped for joy. Little Emmie says her memory verses to him and I know it God way of using her to bring the Word back to Jared, God does say His Word will not go void. Honestly we know so many who are just like Jared…which makes us older Christians wonder, what did we do wrong and ask the same question you ask us. Not sure if we are not living in the times of the great falling away. Not sure what dispenstion that is in.
I blog talked to a girl named Julie in the last few days. She is convinced one of the reason this age, especially women, will not embrace Christ is because the traditional church view on women in leadership, like being a women pastor.
The only conclusing I can come up with is God’s word says there is nothing new under the sun. With that being true what did they do before with a fallen away generation.
When our New Tribes Missionaries go into a tribe, they first learn the language, teach literacy to the people for they do not write or read their own language. When they get readers they begin to teach the Bible in their language from the beginning. Telling key stories of who God is, who man is and what sin is. They build upon that foundation till the birth to buried of Jesus. One thing that stand out to me so clear is these people are easy to convince they are sinners. They usually take Jesus on as their hero as the missionary teaches about Him and are grief stricken when he is killed and buried. Of course that is when the missioinary reminds them of the old testement stories about a Savior, how salvation is in the blood of the Lamb. Light begin to go on and in some villages almost all of them get saved.
I wrote all that to say, in the USA people have become gospel hard, christians who once served God, choose to continue on in their disappointment over church and Christians, their hearts harden due to this disappointment. We hear it in our son voice when we talk about this, yet he will bring others to us to talk to about God. He has failed to live up to even his own standards and just plain give up on living a life in Christ. He now lives his live in his own power. After trying to explain or reason or quote scripture to him we are left with two tools, love and prayer.
Without the hope God gives we would be heartbroken over our son. He is a great son, just not walking with the Lord.
I so look forward to the responses you will get. Thanks for opening this up to us. Blessings
First, prayers for your son Jared. Second, I pray for Julie as she seems to be using one aspect of teaching to justify not responding to Christ’s call. You are so right about hope. without it we have nothing. Thanks for the response Betty. I appreciate your years of wisdom being passed down. I do hope a good discussion ensues.
I think one of the main things that really turn that generation off is what I call down here the “Turn the lights on and wait for everyone to show up” mentality. What it’s going to take are people authentically forming relationships and loving that generation. At least, that’s what I think.
I think you are absolutely right Larry. For far too long many churches have exhibited just that mentality and assuming that is all that is needed. Frankly, it ain’t working. Forming authentic relationships and loving is key.
No doubt traditional Churches are losing the battle for the minds of the younger generation in a significantly big way.
I think today’s youth are more socially connected across all religions, ethnic groups, sexual orientations, and to a lesser extent socio economic classes. The traditional churches have for years provided a social “Club” that promoted these differences and the prejudices they created.
There is no time when Americans are more segregated than at 11:00 on a Sunday morning.
Today’s youth are much more connected across these boundaries in schools and social groups. Why would they want to go somewhere that is historically segregated?
I don’t think it is that they lack a concern for the truth or for morals or for social justice. I just think they don’t find churches as a place that demonstrate these values, irregardless of what churches and members claim they believe. When churches say one thing and do something else relevance goes out the window.
it has long been said that 11:00 is the time when segregation is at its peak. You are right in your analysis Jeff about this generation. And you hit the nail on the head when you say relevance goes out the window with the failure to live out what we say.
It seems that as time goes on, it’s getting harder to gain an audience to hear God’s Word.
Jesus said, “when the Son of man returns to earth with His holy angels, will He find faith?
Will there even be any?
That is a real question.
Since I believe there will always be a remnant then the answer is yes. May be hard to find but…
I don’t have any answers, but this blog post http://deeperstory.com/cynicism-apathy-and-narcissism/ may give some insights.
Thanks Susan. will check it out.
People are the same today as they always have been. Yes, society has changed, but the heart of man is still the same. The information age has given all of us enough information to be dangerous, to give a somewhat informed reasoning as to why we believe the way we do.
Christians of the past relied on the heavy hand to direct the lives of children. While some of it was over board, much of it is what is what kept the respect in check. Without discipline of children their is less self respect because as parents we didn’t show enough self respect to ourselves to discipline the kids the way they needed to be… we did the easy thing… we let the children have their way securing life long problems for them. Love is doing hard thing.
I also believe that kids will respond to authority that truly cares about them. Kids are smart. We forget that at their age in school, we knew the good people from the bad, the ones that cared and the ones that didn’t. As a coach I see the need to shape and mold the kids in structure and discipline for the joy and gratification of it. That’s what we’re missing. The perseverance and inner strength from God comes through discipline, and I don’t mean beating someone, I mean truly caring for them and their long term welfare – demanding the their best so they know how to do it and pass it on when it is their turn.
I’m just scraping the surface, but their are good kids out there… We need adults to get a better balance between the way we were raised and what our children need.
Good points Floyd. people are basically the same- sinners in need of a Savior. in need of a renovation. One thing is also true for all generations- show love and that is a game changer.
Just so happens I have a sermon I’d like to share with you. I’d love to hear your thoughts.
My pastor (in his early 50′s) did a sermon during the summer called passing the baton.
Named for the fact that the church must make a conscious effort to get the next generation involved. Not only involved but raising them up to be the next generation’s leaders.
One small thing our church does is we allow kids as early as 6th grade start serving. My boys work in the tech booth. Running the computer (so the words show up on the screen), running lights, etc. As they get older they will work with the sound board too.
I’ve never been involved with a church that does that. But I know that had I had the chance to get plugged in and welcomed…then going to church wouldn’t have been so “boring” as a kid. I grew up in churches where kids were not allowed to be around anything technological for fear we mignt break something.
Another way we get kids involved is with the worship team. Now there is still an audition piece they have to do – but there are middle school kids on our worship team for Wednesday nights. There are 20 somethings who are in the band on Sundays.
We try to get the next generation involved so they are not only willing but ABLE to receive the baton. But we have to be willing to let GO too
Here’s the sermon link:
http://faithpromise.org/series/6-and-7-2012/passing-the-baton
I love that concept Craig! Faith Promise church is doing it right. Thanks for the link. I will find the time to listen to it.
Im not sure either…or even why this happens…
I just know that i read somewhere that the mormon and jehovah witness churches are growing rapidly…
HOW CAN THIS BE IF THEY ARE THE MOST STRICT RELIGIONS OUT THERE?
they are very, very stict…
BUT that is what people are craving…something to make their life stict…
I personally think that Churches are becoming too tolorant. They are being too lets sing cumbaya together no matter what you’ve done or do…as as long as you come and say you love jesus so our numbers can increase and show them up on our website…
i know that sounds cruel…but that’s the way i feel…
I really do belive that the old church had it right… the church that still preacers Jesus saves SINNERS and uses words like Sins, Blood and Sacrifice of the Cross.
my two cents.
Excellent point Arny. I think it has something to do with convictions. The millenials may be tolerant about some things (as Jeff says) but one thing they want to know is “do you really believe what you say, and do you live it?” I will personally continue preaching sin, blood and the sacrifice of Jesus.
Having 5 millenial children, I know that 1 struggles deeply with these things: 1.why does he exist? 2.why are people so mean, arrogant & intolerant? 3. feeling hurried to get everything he wants to accomplish done because there’s no time 4.feelings of inadequacy & just being looked at as weird by his peers. In the words of this 20 yr.old son,”I feel like a 60 yr. old man in a 20 yr.old body.” He is a believer, yet struggles daily with all these things & more. I don’t have the answers except to pray for him daily & continue to encourage him.
AND, I forgot this one…..he is actually getting a degree in IT, but doesn’t like that everyone uses technology to form relationships….internet, texting, etc…..he has asked me several times, what happened to the days when people could just talk face to face? Yes, he’s only 20!
I’m honestly not too worried. I think God is still at work. I personally think it has to do with the family – but that’s really a solution that’s not going to help the millenials, just the generations who come after them (if we start having healthier, disciple-making families).