There is an old saying I am sure you have heard:
You are known by the company you keep.
Like it or not, we tend to label people. Try this exercise. When you see someone what do you think?
A tattooed man/woman?
A bunch of bearded men with (not-so- bearded) ladies on the back of their Harleys?
Girls in short skirts, low tops, and eye-liner that would keep Maybelline in business just by itself?
A politician who wants to shake your hand and act like he is your best or long lost friend?
A “slick Willy” televangelist who shines his bright teeth and slicked back hair and proposes God wants you healthy and wealthy?
A teenage girl or boy with piercings, black eye liner, and clothes to match?
You get the point so no need to belabor it. We not only are often known by our company, but we also judge by the company of others.
Let’s flip that and look at it a different way. In his book Love Works, Joel quotes Sam Horn:
Anyone who consistently makes you feel bad is not helping you be better.
Boy, ain’t that the truth!! I don’t know about you, but I try to avoid those kind of people. Like a plague. Like the flu virus. Life is joy-sucking enough without some “downer” pulling at me with his/her constant negativity. I remember pastoring a church once and the “greeter” was one of the most sour-pussed men you would ever want to meet. If life tossed him lemons, he would suck on them and then say, “Hi! Welcome.” (Make sure you get the proper lemon-puckering image in your head). This man did not make just lemonade. He made poisoned lemonade and passed it around.
One of the essential elements of Herschend Family Entertainment is to “make their day better.” Joel and his staff go out of their way to show kindness. This practice then rubs off on the employees and how they treat the folks they come in contact with at the parks where they serve. Each person, from head honcho to toilet cleaner is made to feel good. They are given a veritable feast of good words and kindness.
Need I say how that applies to the church? From staff, to leadership, the worship team, Sunday teachers, sound people, nursery workers, to all volunteers, to everyone who walks through the doors. It is so important people know how much we value them. Joel includes this thought:
THE ENTHUSIASM OF THE GUEST EXPERIENCE CAN NEVER RISE ANY HIGHER THAN THE ENTHUSIASM OF YOUR OWN EMPLOYEES.
So the naturally-arising question is how do you do in this area? How does your church community do and what part are you playing in it? I’d like to hear your thoughts.
While you are at it, check out Jon’s blog to read his thoughts on this section of the book.
I have written numerous times of my distaste for church greeters. Over-caffeinated, cloying, freakishly peppy individuals who feel that they can force themselves on me when I neither want nor need their interaction. (Note I am laying it on a bit thick so that you catch a sliver of my true feelings.) I think it much more respectful and welcoming to a new person to my church to make eye contact and give a reasonably subtle nod of the head, and if I am feeling especially motivated, a slight smile.
i think some of it depends on where in the country the church is. Different parts of the country operate differently. And while you prefer to be left alone or acknowledged by a head nod, there are some who like the affable approach. Makes them feel welcome. Everyone is different I believe. 🙂
Finalizing my post for tomorrow now. I think it will be a good compliment to what you’ve written. Thanks again for the chance to link up.
Here’s the link to my post for this week: http://www.jonstolpe.com/2013/01/30/love-works-wednesday-link-up-week-3-kind/
Looking forward to reading it Jon. I have enjoyed the chance also.
Already got you linked. 🙂
I have been a door greeter in my recent church and have experienced mostly under caffenated, under preppy and down right acting bored to death greeters.
Some pass the time judging others that come to the services. I have always felt the greeter sets the pace or mode of the church for new comers interested in being new members. The mode they present often sets the tone for ones seeking God. Out side the Church, that is another area.
As in most cases people tend to spend more time judging others rather than accepting others that may be different untill they reveal otherwise.
Remember, it is the Lords House and he accepts all that come to Him irregardless of their outward appearance..
Woe be to the greeter who judges another. I heard of a church where the men turned someone away because she was not dressed correctly. UGH! That is ugly and God cannot bless that. I tell our people everyone is welcome
I have been in churches where they have the WRONG people greeting people as they come in. We need to take a Gospel centered thought to everything. You want your greeters to exhibit the Gospel. Same with your nursery, etc. And love and grace are at the center of the Gospel.
Very true larry. Love and grace “requires” an open policy.
I went to a LARGE church once that really blew me away with how friendly they were and how the staff seemed to know EVERYONE’s name. It went a long way to making a large community feel welcoming. That church really excelled at making people feel invited and wanted. I wish/pray more churches could be like that.
It is important TC. Our new youth pastor & his family started attending and one of the things they commented about was that I walked around and personally greeted people. They were not used to that. People want to feel invited and wanted.
I think all greeters should greet me with cookies and Starbucks…then I’ll think about attending their church! 😉
Seriously though, there are some people who can pull enthusiasm off and some who can’t (sincerely). It doesn’t mean they can’t be effective in helping people connect with a church body. I think it just has to be “real”, warm and friendly…that’ll work for me.
Chocolate chip and Diet Dr. Pepper works for me, except when I am preaching. Belching mid sentence tends to turn people off. 🙂 I do like your three words: real, warm and friendly. Thanks Jay.
Introverts, no matter how many cups of Starbucks or whatever, are probably not going to be bubbly people. I tend to scan the congregation and if I see someone sitting alone, ask if I can join them.
Now my granddaughter, age 3 and a half, can work the whole church in the time it takes to pass around the collection plates.
Both of us are people persons. We express it differently.
i am a people person. Your g-daughter sounds like my kind of girl. 🙂 but you are right. We have to be ourselves and do what we feel comfortable doing.
Having a bad perspective, even as Christians, is a choice. The gift of free will to choose if we want to be grouchy or happy. Being negative is a bad habit, like smoking. The more a person does it the more they continue. Any of us can find a reason to be in a foul mood any day of the week. The world is filled with them. Those who dwell on fear and dread. If we know the truth and have the heart and instruction of how to act which will impact how we feel as shown by Christ. There is no reason to be a “bitterman!”
Totally agree Floyd. I choose every day not to take the negative side, but to be positive…sometimes even when I don’t feel like it. I prefer to be a good influence and enhance someone’s life.
I normally just lurk, but I wanted to comment today. This is a good and timely post for me. Thanks for sharing. 🙂
Glad you didn’t just lurk Phil. Really appreciate you “showing up” and commenting. no more blog?
I still have the blog at peaceablysown.com I hadn’t been posting much the last couple of months, but I’ve picked it up lately.
Thanks Phil. You didn’t have a link with your name that is why I thought maybe you had quit.
My church takes greeting very seriously. Our greeters are the first impression that people get of our church and that WILL affect their entire opinion of our church.
It was maddening but the man was entrenched and the decision was finally made to replace him. Took some heat but we were better off in the long run. And I agree: they are the first impressions people get.
Great topic for me today. I have struggled since Sunday because I knew one person in our congregation did not like what I had to say about faith and the fruit of unbelief in our lives. This person looked visibly upset and a little angry as I was speaking. I’ve fought the urge to ask them about it all week because I have to trust God is doing something in the midst of their discomfort. I can’t try to explain it another way. I have to let the Holy Spirit be the Holy Spirit and trust Him. Anyway, just shows that the negativity of a person can affect us even if they’re not in the same room. Great post, Bill.
Oh man Jason, I can feel your pain. I have had those times when I could just tell someone was upset and even angry. Allowing the HS to do His work is so important though. You made a great choice to leave it alone…at least right now. Thanks for the comment.
Nothing beats a smile that lights the whole face to make someones day better. It is a choice we have to smile or frown. It is a choice to be negative or positive no matter what is going on in our life. I think Joel book hits it right on. Which is why it’s so important to know Christ in a personal way, for only He can light the darkess corner. It is His love that is shed abroad in our hearts that helps us love others, His love for us that gives us a smile. I know anytime I am being negative my mind is on me and poor me alone. Great post, Now going to jump over to Jon.
Many peoples’ day is made brighter by a smile or a handshake. Or in Daniel’s case a head nod. the point is going out of our way to make someone feel welcome. Glad you read Jon’s. 🙂
Thank you for helping us remember to be cognizant of making others days better. It will make our day better too.
I had to stop going to church, but one of the times I tried going back with our special needs gal, I noticed that there were security guys out front and in the lobby area. Our church had moved to a downtown location . ..not in the best part of town. It kind of threw me off. But you know what, during the meet and greet time, one of the security guys found us, way up at the back of the balcony, and shook our hands, saying how glad he was to see us. 🙂 Blessed me muchly! God bless you!
Hooray for that one security guy! The sad part is how many are not made to feel welcome in so many churches.
I think the church or business has better productivity, results, and a positive culture when the leadership team takes time to recognize and encourage the people who are on every level. I think having a servant and others mindset is essential to doing this.
Wonderful post Bill!
So true Dan. Our leadership team is taking the time to do just that at the end of February.