I had made plans to review Craig Groeschel’s book Altar Ego this week. Today, in fact. However, life got in the way and kicked that to the curb. A dear friend went to be with Jesus on Tuesday afternoon and even though I have been away from the church she attended (and I pastored for 13 years), she has honored me by asking that I take part in her memorial service alongside her current pastor (and my successor). It has meant a rewiring of my week since it will mean going out of town and making a decision to either go to Visitation on Thursday night, come home, then return for the Funeral on Friday morning or spend the night in a hotel in that city. Needless to say, it also means some prep work. So, in lieu of that, I will post about Craig’s book next week.
So…I thought I would go easy on myself (and you) and post two Scriptures that I have read the past two days. I read through Proverbs every other month and decided I would diverge from my ESV and read it from The Message. The verses sound strange the way Peterson has paraphrased them, but it does give a fresh look to them.
“First pride, then the crash- the bigger the ego, the harder the fall.” 16:18
We all know that as “Pride goes before a fall.” Not much to add to that is there? How many times have I fallen after a prideful moment? Too many to count. A greater tragedy might be those who fall and don’t care. They still hold on to their opinion or arrogant “stand.”
“Overlook an offense and bond a friendship; fasten on to a slight and—good-bye, friend!” 17:9
Better known as “Whoever covers an offense seeks love, but he who repeats a matter separates close friends.” (ESV)
There are several thoughts in this verse. One is the importance of cultivating a friendship. Another is the tragedy caused by hanging on to things instead of forgiving. Way too many people are affected and governed by their refusal to let things go. I have seen people’s lives literally destroyed by bitterness and the unwillingness to forgive.
Relationships with people are so fragile, yet so important. They take time to nurture and grow. They take “invested time” to make them last. How are you at friendships? Second question: if you were to narrow it down to one Proverb that particularly is close to your heart, which one would it be?
I have always had a difficult time with friendships. I seem to only be able to get so close to others.
Some people are that way. There are times i wish I was more cautious and reserved. I am suffering through a lost friendship right now that was totally unexpected and came out of nowhere.
I really do not have any close friends. I did much better at this when I was younger. I had friends in high school, college, and graduate school. Somewhere along the way, I lost the ability to make friends, even when I have worked at it.
As for favorite proverbs, I like Proverbs 13:20, “He who walks with the wise grows wise, but a companion of fools suffers harm.”
No joke: If we were closer I think we could be friends. Obviously don’t know how close, but we could be. Your proverb says a mouthful.
I’m learning to give is truly divine. Giving to get is manipulation and it is part of selfishness and deception, which leads to my biggest rival over my lifetime; pride… So that answers your question to the verses and yeah, I too have had some falls. It’s those many scars that remind me of it. My guess is if your prone to be prideful you’re going to also be unforgiving… They kinda go hand in hand.
I like your distinction Floyd. Giving to get is manipulation and totally different from learning to give from the heart. I believe you are right: pride and a lack of forgiveness do go hand in hand.
“Listen twice as much as you speak”.
DEFINITELY something to remember Steve.
Daniel has voiced my favorite Proverb 13:20.
Making friends is my strong point, I love people, love making them feel comfortable, especially those who do not open up easily. Good post brother, anytime we walk in Proverbs we gain.
I love making friends also Betty. I suspect you and I would be friends and talk each others’ ears off. 🙂 Agree about walking in Proverbs.
I am pretty good at making friends, probably my personality type as much as anything, and my mother always told me if I wanted to have friends, i needed to be a friend.
I am learning that some of that comes from internal wiring though. Some have to work much harder at being friends.
Relationships are so important. As i have been pondering the dozens of “one anothers” in the word i am more and more convinced that it is a key to the christian life that we choose to ignore way to much.
Re – proverbs – depends on the day. I always liked Solomon’s way of dealing with temptation – His 4 step plan:
Do not enter the path of the wicked And do not proceed in the way of evil men. Avoid it, do not pass by it; Turn away from it and pass on. Prov 4:14-15
Not only are those wise words Ben, but that Proverb is spot on. I like the way you have broken it down. Thanks for taking some in your response.
Sorry to hear about the death of your friend. Blessings as you are a part of the memorial and all that goes with it. So for friends, I think it’s harder sometimes for pastors to cultivate deeper friendships because there are so many expectations placed on you (no matter how much you try to convince everyone you’re just a normal person). I have a few deeper relationships, but that’s also my personality as well. It takes a while to get to know me. 🙂 As for favorite proverb, I don’t know how I could narrow it down! Thanks Bill.
Thanks Jason. She was 85 and had lived a life of service and love to Jesus. That makes this all the better and easier. Like you, I try to have friendships that are built to last. Those people are carefully picked obviously due to reasons you mention. Unfortunately, I am a “what you see is what you get kind of guy” so I am pretty much an open book. Figure with your posts on Proverbs you might have a tough time. 😛 Thanks jason.
I think that I do friendship well. I do it better since I’ve learned about boundaries.
Proverbs 17:19 Whoever covers an offense seeks love, but he who repeats a matter separates close friends.
Praying with you over your lost friendship. I’ve had that happen and it sure leaves a big gap in our lives . .and lots of questions in my heart. I have a few beautiful friends, who are amazing to still be my friends, because of my limitations to do all that friends normally do and I can’t, as I take care of our daughter. 🙂
God bless you during this week as you minister to others.
My sympathies on the loss of your friend, Bill.
Proverbs 3:5-6 Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; 6 in all your ways submit to him,and he will make your paths straight.
I’ve struggled with friendships, because I’ve failed to recognize until it is too late when insecurity has a stranglehold on people. I’m much better with this now thankfully!