Compassion

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Sober Cycle

Monday, May 6th, 2024

SOBER CYCLE REVIEW

First things first. I confess I have never had a drink of any type of alcohol. None. So it is a legitimate question for you to ask, “Why then are you reading this book and now doing a review of it?” Fair enough. That was the first question I asked myself when I read the original version. (This is a second edition of that book and I’ll mention at the end what is different). Here is my answer: As a pastor, even though I have never had any issue with alcohol (the first sentence tells you why), I know there are people in the churches I have pastored in the past and even now in this current one, who have had struggles with alcohol. The cold, hard truth that also comes into play is that there are other addictions besides alcohol-porn, tobacco, meth, cocaine, sex, lying, etc.- that are just as treacherous and just as gripping on a soul.

Sherry and I share a kinship-we both love cycling. That is what drew me to the first book to begin with. When I heard she was coming out with this second edition, I immediately pre-ordered it (then waited). I’m going to be honest…I have no clue if any of the print/story part of it is new. It has been a couple of years since I first read it. But that was a good thing. When I picked up this second edition it was like reading it for the first time and I HAD TROUBLE PUTTING IT DOWN…for the second time. I remembered how it started and obviously know how it ended, but all the material in between was like reading it for the first time. What I really appreciate about Sober Cycle is the brutal honesty and transparency Sherry showed. That shows the transformation which has taken place in her heart because she certainly had no transparency or honesty while in the throes of her alcoholism. From the people I have spoken with about their addiction that is a big part of it-hiding and lying.

Sherry is very upfront, not only about her struggle with alcoholism, but also how she finally broke that chain. She calls her ministry She Surrenders for a reason. It was the moment she surrendered her struggle to the Chainbreaker (Jesus) that she finally began to experience victory on a permanent basis. No more binging. No more alcohol-free day(s)/month(s) only to revert back to what she was.

I’m proud to know Sherry, even though we have never met face-to-face. My guess is if that ever happens there will be big smiles, lots of laughter, and maybe even a bike ride in the picture. I have given away a number of her books to alcoholics as well as their families. I don’t see that changing in the future. This will be my go-to book to encourage and help anyone I know who is struggling or loves someone who is. I recommend you buy a copy, read it, and then find someone to pass it on to, especially if they are a struggler with this, or any, addiction for that matter.  

What’s new?  There is a book club study guide to work through. There is a short Q & A section. But perhaps more importantly, there is a short blurb (page and a half) about Selah House Recovery, a place for women to go who need help recovering. I’m a firm believer that our experiences were never meant to be kept to ourselves. Selah House is Sherry’s effort to give back and help other women who are chained to this insidious monster.

A Country Music Star’s Review

Wednesday, January 31st, 2024

REVIEW OF LIKE A RIVER

By Granger Smith

First, you need to know I am not a County Music (CM) fan. A few years ago (like 20-30+ when I did listen to CM), I was very picky whom I listened to. I even wore a cowboy hat! But after about 4 years I went back to my roots of rock ‘n roll and metal. So you might be wondering why in the world I would read a book by a CM star? To be honest, it sat in my Amazon cart for several months because I couldn’t bite the bullet. But I finally did and I’m here to tell you I’m glad I did.

Granger Smith and his wife, Amber, had three children:  London (7), Lincoln (5) and River (3). Lincoln and River were best buds so they were off playing together and Granger was helping London with a new gymnastics routine. His career was a shining star getting brighter by the day. This particular day, one day before the CMA awards, he was with London, when he suddenly noticed the boys were quiet. River had wandered off from his brother and Granger found him face down in the family pool. Despite efforts by him doing CPR and the EMS there was no hope. They rushed him to the hospital but his long time without oxygen gave them no hope. They donated his organs and allowed him to pass naturally.

This book is Granger’s efforts to process his grief and to share the lessons he learned with us. I cannot even begin to imagine what it would be like for him, or for any other parent in a similar situation, or for any parent having to say “Goodbye” to a child. As you can imagine Granger’s life from that point on was a roller coaster. He admits faking it and lying on stage and telling people he was okay (typical for most of us). He also found himself going down the rabbit hole of marijuana usage to help him deal with the nightmares (PTSD). Then the dark night of the soul where he had a loaded gun ready to end it all. Shortly after that dark night and his decision to follow Jesus, he approached Amber about having another baby. But she had had her tubes tied and so the chances of that happening were slim. Oh, the miracles of modern medicine. They implanted an egg but Amber had a miscarriage. With one frozen embryo left they tried one last time. This time God blessed them with little Maverick.

The book ends with Granger telling us that he has given up the road traveling and singing CM to attend Southern Baptist Theological Seminary, where he is pursuing a Master’s Degree and preaching. I like what he says: “Other than that, my future is none of my business. What a freeing feeling that is.” (p.184)

I did enjoy this book. It wasn’t a sordid “tell all” like many of them could do. Instead, it was a “God came through and I want to share my testimony with you” book. His story of losing River is heart-breaking, but to see what God has brought out of this is truly inspiring.  He was honest; he was real; and it was well worth the time reading. (He still didn’t convert me to CM).  🙂

Memory Loss

Monday, December 4th, 2023

MEMORABLE LOSS

By Karen Martin

Copyright 2023

 

Ask different people what they would say is the scourge on our society these days when it pertains to health, some will say cancer; some will say Parkinson’s; some will say MS or one of a thousand others. Having firsthand experience with the subject of this book, I might be inclined to name this one.

Over four+ years ago my sister-in-law began experiencing “being lost.” Forgetting to take her insulin. Not buying food to eat. Being a diabetic, both are incredibly important. The last incident of 500+ sugar and being on the floor for-we-don’t- know-how-long, precipitated admitting her to the hospital and then a nursing care facility. It was not long after that when she really began exhibiting signs which, were very vague to start with, but then escalated quicker than anyone realized. Compounding the issue was diabetes and kidney dialysis. Over time her Dementia went into full bore Alzheimer’s.

This book by Karen Martin, entitled Memorable Loss, is a story of friendship in the face of Dementia/Alzheimer’s. Mrs. Martin (Karen) has written a very touching, but very informative account of her more than a decade journey with Kathleen, a very “stately” woman whom she met at church. As their friendship developed, Karen began to spend more and more time with Kathleen and then watched the heartbreaking entrance of Dementia into her life. To her credit, Kathleen stayed as active as possible thanks to Karen, even though they both saw evidence that things were changing.

Mrs. Martin lives and writes in the UK so the following statistic refers to that part of the world. The Alzheimer’s Society estimated there are about 850,000 diagnosed cases in the UK, many more are affected by the detriments associated with the disease. It is a disease that steals families with consequences for everyone (p.15). One consequence Karen was sure to show was the surrender of Kathleen’s independence and ultimate reliance on Karen. Fortunately, Kathleen had made provision for her future needs in both providing a will and also the adequate funds to be cared for if needed. The “Bluebell House” (not the real name due to confidentiality) became their choice. She had Karen to take care of her and visit full-time, but she also had two nephews whom she trusted and one guided her affairs. Tragically, many are not prepared and often watch their world fall to pieces as a result.

I could write more, but I think it would be much more meaningful if you allowed Mrs. Martin to tell you in her own words. If you work with an organization or a nursing facility who takes care of Dementia/Alzheimer’s patients, I would suggest you read this book. If you know of someone who has exhibited symptoms or have family members who have been or will probably be diagnosed with this disease, I would suggest you most definitely read it. Warning: it is an easy read, in that it flows well and Karen’s experience with Kathleen (and love for her) shine brightly; but it is also a hard read because of the obvious heartbreak you know of or may soon experience. It is published by Christian Focus and you may order it from them, or you may order it from Amazon like I did.

I personally think it will be worth your time to read and learn from Memory Loss.

https://m.media-amazon.com/images/I/61oAKuE67mL._AC_UY218_.jpg

#EssentialsToBelieve

Thursday, May 25th, 2023

In 1816 Thomas Jefferson wrote a letter to John Adams in which he said, “There are indeed gloomy and hypochondriac minds, inhabitants of diseased bodies, disgusted with the present, and despairing of the future; always counting the worst will happen, because it may happen! To these I say how much pain have cost us the evils which have never happened!” (Quote from Unwinding Anxiety by Judson Brewer-p.12)

I’m pretty sure Thomas Jefferson had plenty to be anxious about!! 🙂

Whenever someone is going through a “down” time or depression or simply fighting their own emotions of being down, they tell themselves lies they come to believe.  In his book, Attacking Anxiety, Pastor Shawn Johnson takes lessons from his own struggles with depression and anxiety and panic to gives three essentials a person must believe. I will talking about them this Sunday:

  1. You are not crazy
  2. You are not alone
  3. This will end.

I realize those who struggle with a chemical imbalance in their system will find some of this hard to believe. And accept. But my desire is that I can give them hope that it is not a lost cause. Primary to that is what we tell ourselves. We all need to start telling ourselves, “You are a child of God. You are a loved child of God. Like everyone else, you are a slightly broken child of God.”

Please join us this Sunday live or live stream at 9:00 and 10:45. There is hope for all of us.

 

FaithOverFear#1

Thursday, May 4th, 2023

This Sunday I start a new sermon series-one I have never done before. As you can see by the title to this post, the theme for the series is “Faith Over Fear.”

A little back story might help. I began a series in January on Revelation. After preaching for the first two months and covering Revelation 1-5, I decided to concentrate on the message of Easter so I diverted to a series I called “To and From the Cross.” While preparing for that series, I began to sense God was leading me to do something else besides continue Revelation when that series was over.  After praying about what I was sensing, there was little doubt in my mind that I was to do a series on Fear and Anxiety. After I announced that, I cannot even begin to tell you how many folks have said, “I can’t wait for that series!” Many of those were people whom I had no clue suffered from it.

To say I’m looking forward to preaching it would be an understatement. But I am also aware of the expectations people have and part of me says I hope I don’t disappoint. Then I realize: it is not me anyway. And it is not about me. I have to trust God will give me the words to say because, to be honest, I have never had an issue with this. I HAVE TO TRUST HIM TO GIVE ME THE WORDS TO SAY.

My sermon this Sunday is entitled “What We ALL Want.”  Stay tuned this week for more information about what it is we all want. Meanwhile, I invite you to join us at 9 and 10:45, either in person or via live stream. Go here to find out how to do that.  I welcome your feedback as well.

 

#StickingYourNeckOut

Friday, September 9th, 2022

Did you ever find yourself with more questions that answers? That is how I feel about this week’s sermon.  The Beatitude this week is “Blessed are the merciful for they shall receive mercy.”

Here are a few of my questions: What does it mean to be merciful? In a world of cutthroat actions and reactions, what place does mercy have? What should the Christ-follower do and how should we act? How do we show mercy to others? Tons of questions which need deserve to be answered.

It sounds like it should be an easy task. But in Jesus’ day it was a radical teaching. The Romans admired justice, courage, self-control, and wisdom, but not mercy. In fact, it was called a “disease of the soul.” It was something to be abhorred and avoided and ashamed of if you ever expected to achieve success.

It isn’t quite that bad these days. But there is still what I will call “faux-mercy.” What I mean by that is that there are those who pretend to show mercy because it is profitable, rather than because it is the right thing to do. All in all though, it is right to show mercy to those who need it.  Mercy is not a sign of weakness (as the Romans taught), but actually a sign of strength. The Greek word for merciful means “to give help to the wretched, to relive the miserable.” The Greek word gives way to our English word benefactor.

Sunday’s sermon will not only try to clarify what mercy is, but also give examples of people who showed mercy from the Bible (put a picture to the word). I hope you will join us at either 9 or 10:45 in person or via live stream. We would love to have you join us. I would be honored if you would.

#EasytobeHard#Meekness

Friday, August 26th, 2022

Back in 1969, Three Dog Night had a hit with a song called Easy to be Hard. Some of the lyrics went like this: “How can people be heartless/How can people be so cruel/Easy to be hard/Easy to be cold/How can people have no feelings/How can they ignore their friends/Easy to be proud/Easy to say no.”

Like it or not, there are people who are heartless and cold and cruel and have no feelings. Sadly, some of those people are those who say they follow Jesus.  A lot of that could possibly come from the idea that we have no clue what it means to be sensitive to others in a good way.

My sermon Sunday is on Meekness and if there is any one word misunderstood in the Bible, it is that one! Far too many say meekness = weakness. A closer look at that word shows that is simply not the case. Meekness is actually better seen as POWER UNDER CONTROL! Think of a horse being controlled by a bit. A ship being controlled by a rudder.  Besides the fact there is no way we can equate meekness with weakness, especially since Jesus was meek and lowly. He was humble.  Let’s make it even more practical. A person who loses his temper lacks meekness. I read where someone said, “Temper is such a wonderful thing that it’s a shame to lose it!”

This Sunday we will be looking at Meekness in depth. I hope you will join me and OVCF as we worship and study.  If you are unable to, we live stream at 9:00 and 10:45.

#GoodGrief!

Friday, August 19th, 2022

Let’s be honest here for a moment. For most people, especially in today’s world, mourning is not seen as a virtue.  In fact, for many men, to show tears is out of character. I can remember only seeing my dad cry once and that was after his heart attack and a visit Jo, Tami (she was barely a month old), and I made. We had traveled from Akron to my folks’ home in PA to visit. Now a days, it is becoming even harder and harder not just to find men, but also women, who are unafraid to shed some tears. It is often seen as a sign of weakness.

And yet, Jesus said, “Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted.” (NASB2020)

What does that mean? Does it mean we should be constantly in “cry mode?” Does it mean we should go around with tears in our eyes so people can see us crying (sort of like being showy like the Pharisees)?  Everyone one of us experience or will experience pain and suffering of some kind. What should we do?

Mourn, of course. Jesus said it was okay to do that. I remember a song from years ago sung by J.D. Sumner: “Tears are a language God understands.”

But when Jesus tells us “Blessed are those who mourn” what does He mean? What is He giving us permission to do?  It is far more than just shedding tears. I hope to untangle that this week and with God’s help shed some light in this sometimes dark tunnel. 

I’d be honored if you could join us at 9 or 10:45 in person or via live stream.  If you care to watch it another time it is on the church FB page and YouTube channel. You can access those by going to the church’s website.

#PPA

Sunday, April 10th, 2022

Ever heard of PPA? You should have by now if you listen to any news feed. One of the most iconic actors of the past couple of decades was recently diagnosed with it. PPA stands for Primary Progressive Aphasia.

Bruce Willis has been diagnosed with it.

How ironic it was, then, that just a few weeks ago I listened to an Alisa Childers podcast where she interviewed a Christian philosopher and writer named Doug Groothius (pronounce grew-ties with the “s” sounding like a soft “s”). When I listened to the podcast I never caught the illness Doug’s wife suffered from and which was the inspiration for his book, Walking Through Twilight.  I was so intrigued by the interview I ordered his book and began reading it this past weekend.  Doug’s wife, a member of MENSA and a brilliant editor and writer of all his books, was diagnosed with PPA.

Here is a short “walk through” of PPA:

  • Often misdiagnosed as Alzheimer’s or “strict” dementia, it is different. Alzheimer’s starts at the back of the brain and moves forward; PPA is a frontal lobe disease. It is a rare form of dementia.
  • They all act alike in many ways. Forgetfulness. Lostness. Blank stares. Inability to recognize people or remember things. PPA also carries with it the inability to put words or thoughts together. My non-clinical way of saying it would be it is like having dyslexia of the mind.
  • There is no cure. It gets progressively worse.  At the time of the writing of his book (2017), Becky had suffered from it for 15 years.  (She went to be with Jesus in 2018).  It is an emotional wrangle for all involved-spouse, family, caregivers, even pets.

His book? You have to buy it. That is all I can say. I am about 1/2 way through it and have found myself drawn into his story and his struggle-with life, with God, with the way things are. Even though Doug is a philosopher, he doesn’t write like one who is “over my head.” Trust me, though, when I say you will enter into his story. You will ride the waves with him as he struggles emotionally and spiritually.

Walking Through Twilight: A Wife's Illness―A Philosopher's Lament

My father had dementia (he died at 90). My mother-in-law had it. My sister-in-law has it (mild form so far). I can guarantee this book has given me a new perspective on the “world” of the one walking through this twilight with someone they love.

BUY IT!! READ IT!! WEEP WITH IT!! REJOICE WITH IT (she knew Jesus)!!

And say a prayer for Bruce Willis and his family. I’m guessing they don’t know Jesus. They will need Him and the strength and comfort He offers.

#Dirty#Cleansed

Friday, June 25th, 2021

I read recently that some are convinced that if WWII did not happen the History Channel would not exist.  He goes on to explain that “it seems that the vast majority of HC’s programming either deals with the war in general or Hitler in particular.  Hitler’s bodyguards. Hitler’s hideouts. Hitler and the occult. Hitler’s suicide.” One of his henchman, Dr. Josef Mengele, was dubbed “The Angel of Death” because of his horrific work with Jewish prisoners.  He saw them as experiments to be played with, not as humans who were God’s image bearers.

Back in the late 70s/early 80s, pop singer, the late B.J.Thomas came out as a Christ-follower. A string of records and awards followed in the Christian music industry. I remember one of his songs was entitled Using Things and Loving People. That is the correct order. But sadly, we often tend to turn it around and say, “Love things and use people.”

How do you see people? For the past 2 months I have been preaching a series called “Eyes Wide Open” where I focused on how Jesus saw people.  The final sermon is this Sunday and it focuses on the woman caught in adultery in John 8.  A poster child for one who needed grace in a big way. And Jesus came through! But it causes me to question my own response to people.

Please join me in person or via live stream at 9 and 10:45. You can find the links to the live stream (the church’s FB page or YouTube) on the church’s website (ovcf.org). If you can’t be here or watch, then please say a prayer for us.