As I was laying in bed last night, this thought came to me. I’m surprised I remembered it since I didn’t write it down. 🙂
When I was young, I grew up in West Mifflin, PA, a suburb of Pittsburgh. Pittsburgh was known as a melting pot for all nationalities. I grew up with friends who were German, Poles, Czechs, Catholics, Orthodox, Italian, you name it. I also grew up with a large group of black people in my neighborhood since I grew up in the projects. I had no clue they were “relegated” to a certain area of the projects due to the color of their skin. I used the “N” word until my mom sat me down and told me that wasn’t a very kind word to use. So the “Eeney meanie miney moe, catch a ‘n’ by the toe” was changed to “catch a monkey by the toe” (with no thought of the monkey being a reference to them). My mother taught me to respect others whether they had a different color of skin or were of a different nationality (I am Italian from my father’s side and Pennsylvania Dutch from my mom’s). I played Little League baseball so the team consisted of mixed races. I attended a high school which was about 1/3 black (we were allowed to use that word back then). I stood in the foyer of the school my senior year with John Koreny (a future doctor); Bruce Harris (a black violinist whose dream was to play in the Pittsburgh Symphony); and Jeff Goldblum (yes that one) and watched the stupid actions of rebellion on the school lawn as former friends went at each other over the color of their skin (It was ’69-70). An athlete, a brain, a musician, and a Jew/future actor all standing together. My graduating class of 300+ had over 1/3 black graduates.
Respect. What a different world we live in today. I’m not talking about tolerance overblown. I’m talking about treating individuals with respect. Young. Old. Baby. Senior. Healthy. Sick. White. Black. Gay. Straight. And while I may not agree with certain lifestyles, I am still compelled to treat people with respect.
I’m honored to carry on my mother’s legacy.
I’m even more honored to carry on the legacy of Jesus. His exchange with the hated Zacckeus in Luke 19 is classic Jesus. One of these days I might learn to love like that.
Any thoughts? Were you taught respect growing up?
I grew up during the 1970s and the racism was rampant. I decided to separate myself from that and be my own man. I have not emerged unscathed from racism, but I try to treat all folks with respect.
Good for you Daniel. Even back then you were showing maturity many lacked.
I think I know what you mean and agree although “Respect” is a bit too strong for me. I prefer to be “non-prejudiced” or “non-judgemental” toward everyone. Respect is something you have to earn with me.
Most people I am “suspect” of until they earn my respect. They need to prove themselves worthy of respect.
I agree with you Jeff. Respect is earned. I use that word because it used with me. i can also see your point about the word.
Being raised in the South, there’s still to this day a lot of residual racism. I had a black friend in high school who I referred to as “my boy.” I meant it in the modern sense of him being my friend, obviously. My parents flipped out and told me not to use that phrase anymore. Then, they explained that it used to be a racist term. I always wondered how many times I put my foot in my mouth without even realizing.
I never really understood a lot about racism. To me, I think it’s cool that God creates such a variety of people around us.
It is too bad a simple phrase can be misconstrued. I applaud your parents for being so conscientious of your use of the phrase and how it could be perceived. I agree with you about God’s approach.
I grew up in So Cal during the riots. My mom and dad, who grew up as a poor sharecropper in Ark, would never allow us to use racial slurs like that.
Years before, when my dad served in the Air Force, stationed in Ark, he had a black friend that took turns with him driving to the base. When our landlord saw the man come into our house for a cup of coffee while waiting for my dad, he kicked us out.
Funny I’d forgotten about that. It staggers the mind to ponder how others have been poisoned by the enemy…
I admire your folks, especially your dad, for his “stand.” It staggers my mind as well Floyd how relationships intended to enrich us can be poisoned.
My mom, quite the opposite of yours, told me as I was approaching 12 or 13 years old that I could marry anyone I want – even an Oriental – but that if I ever even thought about marrying a “n”, I would be disowned – this to a kid who had grown up knowing only one black family in our little town.
Racism can be unlearned as well as learned – I know because I’m proof against all the indoctrination I heard growing up.
I know of others who have been told that same thing Rick-only not just the “n” word but anything other than what they were. You are right though, it can be unlearned. Glad to see you are proof.
I don’t remember specific teachings of respect by my parents, but I also don’t remember ever not respecting others for the reasons you mention. I don’t remember even thinking about disrespecting others for those reasons, so I must have been taught to respect them somehow. My parents didn’t do much verbal teaching, and I had to figure a lot out on my own. But, they also accepted and respected others easily and set that positive example for me.