I reiterate my previous post’s statement: One of my nominees for Book-of-the-Year is this one:
I’ve lost both my grandparents. I’ve lost my father-in-law (whom I loved and respected dearly) in 1998 while having heart surgery. I’ve lost my mother-in-law in 2001 to heart failure. I’ve lost my mother to cancer in 2004. I’ve lost countless friends in the churches I have served.
But I cannot imagine what it must be like to lose a child…of any age. King Theodan (from Fellowship of the Ring) could understand because he expressed it: “No father should bury his son.” My best male friend buried his youngest son in 2006 after an accident.
The pain of that loss has to be like a hot iron left on the skin…only this one goes deep into the heart. This book is Levi’s (and his wife, Jennie) adventure through this minefield of losing their five year old daughter, Lenya. I’ve reviewed the book here. And wrote two other posts here and here. This is my final post…I think. I’d like to encourage you to get the book yourself and read it. I’d like to leave you with something Levi wrote and Jennie said:
Pain is a microphone. And the more it hurts, the louder you get. Suffering isn’t an obstacle to being used by God. It is an opportunity to be used like never before. Levi (p.108)
God isn’t scared of what you’re scared of. Levi. (p.165)
God wants to turn
your mess into a message,
your misery into a ministry,
your pain into a platform
and your chaos into a crown.
-Jennie Lusko (via Diana’s research)
I’m not sure I can say much to add “good” to that. They are the ones who have lived through the “hell” of losing their child. If you have, maybe you can relate.
There you have it.
A powerful book. I just don’t know how people survive such a devastation – other than the fact that God must do a supernatural work in their hearts. And it sounds like this is exactly what He’s done in Jennie and Levi’s lives. Such a powerful witness to our hope…
“God isn’t what you’re scared of…”
That is a statement that I will ponder on when I am afraid. It feels to me that this is the beginning statement of victory.
GOD BLESS.
I’m with you Sharon. I don’t know how people survive.
As having a rare kind of heart disease…and almost losing my life 6 months ago… walking through the fire is hard. I remember I didn’t want to talk to God. I remember “Pretending” to talk to God when my pastors and people would come to pray for me in the hospital… But slowly God showed me (through other people like friends and family) that he was there. The whole time. that he was in control from the very beginning. (even though my mind knew this, my heart would not listen).
With my heart needing another type of surgery… I struggle with fear… it’s something that God is loving the heck out of me right now… I can feel it. Peace is starting to come and stay… I can’t imagine what my wife and kids would have gone through if they lost me… but i know it would have felt like an iron on skin…
God Bless Bill…
WOW Arny! Didn’t know this about you. Praying you will continue to find that peace and God will continue loving the heck out of you. I will include you in my prayers. if you want to email me with a more specific request, feel free to do so.
I hope to never have to bury a child. My uncle committed suicide when I was 17 and it affected my family. I pray that I never.
I agree Larry. Even though mine are 40 & 36 now, it still is unsettling.
I have been through it with friends. Not my child but theirs. What was needed was family, friends, and love. There was no need for a supernatural being. It was all very natural, painful, and a part of life. God played no part in distracting us from what needed to be said or done.
Not sure what to say to this since I don’t believe God to be a distraction. But I do applaud you for going through it with friends. That is one thing we can all use at a tough time.
I am reminded of The Shack as I am reading this. There, the main character also lost a daughter and it changed him.
I have lost my grandma and my aunt, but that was a long time ago and I was just a teenager. It did shape my personality, however. Whenever Sam and I talk about this subject (losing someone), I realize that it has shaped me more than I expected. He didn’t lose anyone close to him yet and on one hand, I rejoice for him, on the other, I can’t imagine what it will feel like to come face to face with death when you’re an adult. It’s a bit easier for kids… (I think.)
And I echo your sentiment in one of the comments above, “I don’t know how people survive” losing a kid. I am not sure I want to know, to be selfishly honest…
Like Sam, for the longest time I had not lost anyone close to me. Then it started. Brings on a whole new level of compassion for others. Like you…I don’t want to find out either.
I love that book, The Shack, sent it to so many people. Could not understand why some did not like it. My heart will celebrate when my mother passes because she has lived a full life, she has endured so much lately, pain, confusion, her body is ready to give up her soul. I have not lived near her for years so for me it will not be as hard as for my one brother who lives here and seen her every day. so if I could ask prayer for anything it would be for him, Larry is his name. Blessings.
Betty – I guess people didn’t like to get out of the preconceived notion that God is an older guy with a white beard, somewhat resembling a Santa Claus. One has to accept the fact that we have no idea what God looks like and it’s hard for some people.
I’ll keep your brother Larry in prayers.
Hi Bill! What a heartbreaking subject…I can’t imagine how horrid it would be to be faced with the death of my daughter or son.
I am in awe of the lessons they have learned though. Wow. They are completely right though. Who better to comfort the parents of a sick child, or one who is dying, than someone who’s experienced it themselves? I’m sure in some ways it must feel like a club no one wants to ever join. Who can you talk to? This book would be a God-send.
I’ll write this title down. If you say it’s powerful, then I’m sure it is.
Thank you,
Ceil
So true Ceil. No one can speak the language quite like someone who has experienced it themselves. Also glad you are writing this one down.
I lost five babies over a period of 12 years then finally had a daughter, lost another one, then had our son. I was not a christian, my faith was in myself, I had a survival heart. And I did survive and enjoyed life, but when I gave birth to our daughter I begin to ask, where are those babies I lost? I had studied many different belief, read countless book none gave me hope, finally bought a bible. In those words I found out who God is, who man is and what sin is. Then I had to ask myself, where will you go when you die Betty? There had to be more then nothing after death…this world was too beautiful so there had to be something beautiful out there. Those words in the Bible gave me my first hope. The Words of Christ hit my searching heart like a piercing light. Nothing I had read or even heard did that. Through the years we have sit with those dying with family of different faith and those without faith. We do not push our faith on anyone,but if they ask us we will share gently what the bible says. I have seen families that are non believers in Christ handle death in gracious way. I have seen Christians handle it without any grace. Loss does not require a certain response no matter where our faith is. Again to belittle ones faith about death is prideful. One can have their own opinion without belittling another. I too echo the comment above, to lose a child brings a different level of grief. No matter where someone faiths is the loss of a child hits everyone with the same hammer. Where my mother is right now with just days or even hours away from death there is no hammer, she has lived 89 years, a full life, and she will go into eternity which is another full life according to her belief in Jesus Christ.
Peace reigns in my heart as it did her about this issue of death. Of course Bill your post are hitting my heart with fresh awareness of the grace of God and the love of others. Thank you.
WOW Betty! Five babies over 12 years. then another later. So glad you found your answer, not in the self-help garbage or “things will all be well” junk but in the life and words of Jesus. What a powerful testimony. Still praying for you and your mom’s passing.
So much pain and suffering in this world. None of us are immune, but if we know our Father, we know that we have His gift of free will and wisdom to see beyond these days that in the end are but a blink.
Thanks for the reminder. And the one of this book too.