Drugged

Written by cycleguy on August 10th, 2010

I almost didn’t write anything this afternoon due to a busy day that involved a visit to the dentist.  Let me explain…

Many of you are new to my blog so you have not heard that last year, at the age of 56, I was told that I needed braces.  My jaw was so messed up from teeth either having been pulled or never coming in (back ones) that it messed up my bite.  (Some of it was hereditary so since my mom can’t defend herself I will blame her).   I have been wearing top braces for close to a year now and had the bottom ones put on just about a month or so ago.   The holdup was that I needed an implant in my lower jaw so that the $5000 I spent on the braces is not wasted.  See, with no teeth on the back lower jaw, my top ones were “growing” i.e. falling.  So the braces were put on to align the teeth for a correct bite and then the implant will keep things hunky-dory.  (So they tell me but what do I know?)  I will avoid telling you why it took so long to get the implant but let’s suffice it to say that today (Tuesday) was the day.  It required about an hour or so of my time and since I am a tightwad, I chose to do it while awake.  However, they did use a numbing agent (I think it was a hammer on the head) to numb the whole area.  I will not subject you to how the deed is done.  Anyone with a weak stomach or low pain tolerance may get a little queasy.  The deed is done and I am now walking around with one side of my mouth numb and I feel like I am slurring my words.  Do you know awkward it is to try to drink something and have it come out the side of your mouth?  That hasn’t happened to me so far since I knew what to expect.  I had that happen several years after a visit to the dentist followed by a ride on my bike.  Yeah, that was not a pretty sight.  😛  It is such a weird feeling, knowing your tongue is there and knowing your cheek is there but not really feeling anything.  ‘Course I may wish for that when the Novacaine, or whatever they used, begins to wear off.   🙂

I started thinking about people.  They self-anesthetize to lose track of their loneliness. How many people do you know who “self-medicate” in order to forget?  To ease their pain?  To get lost in another world only to find out that all that self-medication, all that so-called escape, didn’t take them away from their pain but magnified it?   I am not telling you anything you and I don’t already know but our world is filled with hurting, empty, lost people who desperately want relief and can’t find it.  I think John Burke, in his book No Perfect People Allowed, said it well:

The first priority for leadership of the church in a post-Christian world is making the invisible Body visible.

With all the hurting people around us, I reckon the question to ask is “how can we not see it and how can we not respond?”   It is one thing to say we create/want to create a “come as you are” culture in the church but what about our real task…taking the message of Christ to those people who will never darken the church door?

I know this is sort of a personal question and I totally understand if you choose not to answer it but here it is anyway: what are you doing to create a “come as you are” culture in your daily life?  Not Sundays only but every day of every week.  I have been asking that same question to myself lately and my “affair” today brought it to the front. Would you feel free to share your thoughts with my blogging family?  I would love to hear them.

 

76 Comments so far ↓

  1. michael says:

    I’ve been trying to admit my flaws openly. I’m not perfect by no means and I don’t want others to think I am.

    Thank you Bill.

  2. cycleguy says:

    Michael: sometimes hard to do but rewarding. You’re welcome.

  3. jasonS says:

    I love Burke’s book and your thoughts here. I’d like to believe I have a ‘come as you are’ life but I know there’s always room for improvement. Being visible and actively seeking out people is a challenge I need to work on. I’ll have to keep thinking about this too. Thanks Bill.

  4. I’m with Michael. I think we have done the world a disservice by allowing them to portray us as “perfect”. God and God alone is perfect. I make mistakes everyday. You can call me a hypocrite along with Paul because the things I know to do, I don’t…and the things I know not to do, I do. Yet Christ is perfect within me.

    The other thing is that too often we are portrayed for our judgments instead of recognized for God’s love flowing through us. I try very hard to allow His love to shine through me. (See above,…I often fail.)

  5. randy morgan says:

    great question, bill, and one the chuch desperately needs to address.

    the attractional, “come to us” church is almost completely ruined because we have sunday lives and “rest-of-the-week lives. we cannot see how off-putting our hypocrisy is to our culture.

    i read “the ancient ways” (alan hirsch) while on vacation, and it speaks to these issues. i recommend it to someone like you (and me) who is trying to do church as it was designed to be. right now i’m reading “missional renaissance” (reggie mcneal). i’ll fell you in when i finish.

  6. Toby says:

    As you know, my life is an open book. I wrote the other day about my “scowl” that, I hear, tends to turn people away from me. So, I try to be as welcoming as I can without being scary. It’s really a big focus for me now and has been for the 3 years I’ve been in Germany cuz our church, well, wasn’t the most welcoming place I’ve ever been to. We’re making great strides though and it’s awesome how when my focus is on making others more welcoming, how God will turn the focus on myself to get it right in my own life before working on anyone else. (That was, possibly, the longest sentence in the history of sentences.)
    On another note, the last time i went to the dentist, I got home and forgot I was numb. My shirt was pretty much soaked before I realized I was leaking water all over myself :-).

  7. Toby says:

    Oops, forgot to subscribe…darn it!…You can delete this one if ya want :D.

  8. cycleguy says:

    jason: seems to be a never ending responsibility doesn’t it? Glad you liked Burke’s book also. I had to read it twice I liked it so well. 🙂

  9. cycleguy says:

    Dusty: absolutely correct. In an effort be “separate” from the world we have created a whole ‘nother world people don’t fit in with. Shame on us. Last paragraph is spot on.

  10. cycleguy says:

    Randy: thanks for the comment. I am going to have to look into Hirsch’s book. sounds like a good read. Already have McNeil’s. Good book. I agree with you about the “attractional” model.

  11. cycleguy says:

    Toby: have always loved your openness and know that you have made a special effort to “open” up the church there in Germany.

    On a side note: everyone who links to your name will be sent to posterous.com

  12. Desert Jim says:

    The thing that comes to mind for us is we are trying to be purposeful in creating relationships with people around us who may not be Christians.

    For example, we could just drop our kids off at their sports practices and go do our thing but we try to go to as many of the practices we can so that we can get to know some of the other parents with the hopes of generating relationships with them.

    Within those relationships, we can have conversations about life, which sometimes turn spiritual. Also, we look for opportunities to serve them (my wife is better at that than I am).

    Good question. I hope you’re not in too much pain. Hang in there and wait a few days before you crunch on any ice!

  13. Ani says:

    Okay, it’s me again. What do you mean by “come as you are” culture? I really don’t get it. If you don’t want to explain I understand. Maybe it feels like explaining all the time to me. Sorry.

  14. Zee says:

    i was thinking along the same lines recently (the lines of the idea that people self-anesthetize themselves)… Ukraine is mostly a rural area with tiny little villages. there are towns and cities, yet LOTS of villages. in towns / cities, one can find work, but in villages you eat what you grow and there are no other jobs really… which makes the men desperate because they can hardly provide for their families and as a way out, they drink / use drugs. that is a HUGE problem in my country…

    but back to the initial thought… like you’ve mentioned, when the anesthetic starts to wear off, the pain only becomes worse and to get rid of it, you need more of the initial meds… and… it’s a catch-22 in the end. which is sad…

    regarding the “come as you are” – hmm… i guess i am there with Michael and Dusty… it’s tough sometimes to admit that you’re not perfect, but then it also frees you to be yourself as well as allows other people gain access to you because they don’t feel like they have to perform to get your attention.

    *hug* hope the pain from Novocaine wearing off wasn’t too bad…

  15. cycleguy says:

    DJ: That is a great idea! Many wonder why they don’t make an impact when in reality they isolate themselves from people. Love yours and Cindy’s attitude. Didn’t crunch any ice. 🙂

  16. cycleguy says:

    Ani: that is a good question. I will plan to take a little more time answering that in a post if that is okay.

  17. cycleguy says:

    Zee: hate to hear that about Ukraine. Imagine it hurts you to know, see and say. I also think Dusty and Michael have put their finger on it. Pain wasn’t too bad. 🙂

  18. Zee says:

    hmmm… Desert Jim’s comment made me wonder… maybe sometimes we are trying too hard? i mean… not that i have anything against being purposeful in establishing relationships with those who don’t yet know Him, yet… i guess we shouldn’t make it our only goal. *shrug* IMHO. i know i would be disappointed if i found out that someone decided to befriend me just because i was non-believer and the other person was a believer…

    i might be wrong.

    p.s. just to be clear… i am not in any way saying that what Jim talked about was wrong… just thoughts out loud about my own relationships.

  19. Zee says:

    (on the other hand, i just realized that Jim talked about a different thing… whoops 🙂 yes, we definitely should not isolate ourselves in our little “nice and fluffy” Christian communities)

  20. Ani says:

    Fine by me.

  21. Ani says:

    Zee, you make me smile. How your brain is working. hehehe.

  22. cycleguy says:

    Zee: glad you saw what Jim was talking about. I think his key words were “with the hope.” I also think your conclusion is right on the money. I have never met Jim personally but have talked with him on the phone and been blogging together for quite awhile and I know his heart. There is a genuine concern for he, Cindy, Jenna and Joe to be Christ-followers who make a difference. I too wonder about my relationships (as you do). That person at the Y or that person at the store or doctor’s office: do I really care about them or do I see them as a “notch” on my belt. You do raise a good and legitimate point. 😛

  23. cycleguy says:

    Ani: thanks. I will try to answer that soon.

  24. cycleguy says:

    Oh No! A girl connection! Or is that a foreign connection! Ani: read or listen to Zee very much and you will find a super young lady who takes her faith seriously and asks lots of questions. Hope you have checked out her blog already. Wrote a good one on submissive obedience today.

  25. Ani says:

    You have no idea I needed that laugh. Thanks. I did once but forgot about it. Will check on her.

  26. Zee says:

    @Ani – thanks 🙂 love your comments and thinking too! i know you’ve been told that a lot, probably, but you should start your own blog – i bet you got quite a lot of thoughts to share 🙂

    @Bill – what’s up with the age thing? 😀 and yes, foreign girl connections rule! 😀 (thankfully not a lot of people at the office, otherwise i’d get stares by now since i am sitting at my computer and grinning widely)

  27. cycleguy says:

    Ani: glad you laughed and not squinted your eyes at me. Squinty eyes are not good. 😛

  28. cycleguy says:

    Zee: Okay so you want me to call you an “old lady”? Do you realize that you are younger than both my daughters? So either you are young or I am old. You being young sounds a whole lot better. LOL Joining in the grin.

  29. Zee says:

    Bill: to be honest, i don’t really care about age (not yet, anyway) 😀 and yes, i know i am younger than both your daughters, but that still does not make you old in my eyes *shrug* the inside age is what matters and taking that into account, you’re younger than some of my peers 😉

  30. Ani says:

    I’m afraid to ask. Squinty?

  31. cycleguy says:

    Zee: thanks for being so kind. 😛

  32. Robin Rane' says:

    Gosh this is a great post! And you were slurring your words !!!

    I’m with Michael and so many others, honesty is where I hang out these days. I just won’t (with God’s help) pretend anymore.
    The more honest I become the less tolerant I become with preachy-judgmental religion. There is a standard,one set by Jesus Himself, I’m fully aware of this, but I also know the most important “standard” for Christians is love.
    Will be thinking about this one Bill…hugs and well wishes my friend

  33. cycleguy says:

    Ani: when people get upset or want to “stare” down someone their eyes sort of close part way or get squinty. Some use it to intimidate. Others use it to show anger unsaid. Or some joking use it as mock disgust. Help out? I was speaking “tongue-in-cheek.” Does that muddy the water?

  34. Zee says:

    Bill: I think you just confused Ani even more with “muddy waters” and “tongue-in-cheek” 😀 you’re on a roll today, bro 😀 (and i am continuing to laugh at the office…)

  35. cycleguy says:

    Robin: It is so good to hear from you! I am with you on that preachy non-judgmental religion thing. I tire of that stuff myself. Wish I could say I was totally not that way but i would be…shall we say…less than honest? Sometimes the old man wants to kick in.

    Good thing my fingers weren’t too slurred. 🙂

  36. cycleguy says:

    Hey Zee: since you are one of those “foreign girl connections” I spoke about earlier, can you help out explaining things for Ani (and me)? If she asks about “Muddy waters” and “tongue-in-cheek” I will defer to you. how’s that? I gotta stop this rolling somehow. 😛 I mean, I like rock and roll but if I keep this up she will soon be adding rocks to my roll.

  37. Zee says:

    😛 I’ll be happy to help out 🙂

  38. cycleguy says:

    There you have it Ani. I just “passed the buck.”

  39. Ani says:

    You made me laugh, really. Are they all talking like you there? Because I’ve never heard of these words. I mean I do check them and I can’t find them. I mean the English-English not American-English because you talk different. Believe me, you do. Especially you.

    I did get the muddy waters, that it’s not clear.
    Tongue-in-the cheek?! Awkward people really!

  40. Ani says:

    You mean Zee is used to your language? Bravo girl! 😀

  41. Ani says:

    Okay, if I was to start a blog I would start with that I’ve learned a lot from my friends here that I’m not always privy to see what God does in my life and I dont scurry either to clean my heart and oh yes, that it’s not good to have squinty eyes.

    “Scurry” by the way I learned from Herb. His last post just explained perfectly what it means.

    Maybe you can write a post about christians with squinty eyes?

  42. Ani says:

    And Zee, thanks for your help. Now I know who to turn too. By the way Dusty is also a bit foreign, but he’s not a girl.

  43. Zee says:

    Ani: LOL, i really did laugh out loud when i’ve read the bit about Dusty 😀

    I hear you about all the various slang words that you can learn from those “non-foreigners” (i.e. the US guys / gals) 😀 I am a slang junkie so i collect all kinds of sayings and phrases 🙂

    Btw, tongue-in-cheek makes sense if you think about it… and it basically means that something that was said was intended to be either humorous or just not meant to be treated as serious matter.

    Christians with squinty eyes… wow, that’s quite a blog post name! 😀

  44. cycleguy says:

    Ani: you think this is bad? You should have heard me when I grew up and lived in Pennsylvania. I grew up near Pittsburgh and we had a language all our own. 🙂 But you are getting it. You are right about “Muddy water” but tongue-in-cheek basically means joking while hinting at something, sort of like a double meaning. (Help me out here Zee since you see things a tad differently). Also Ani: Zee lived in America for awhile and works at the American embassy in Ukraine so I think that is what helps her familiarity with our language. Someone once said that the English language is one of the hardest to learn because of all the slang, idioms, words spelled the same with different meanings, etc.

    And that would be a wonderful way to start a post! people would laugh right off the bat!

  45. Zee says:

    ummm, Bill, all time i have spent in the States amounts to 3 months total – first time was a month and then 2 months… and i don’t work at the embassy 😀 the Chamber is a different entity 🙂 but that’s okay since a lot of people here also associate the Chamber with the embassy 🙂

    but i did hang out with American-speaking people for the last 18 years ever since the Church of the Nazarene started in Ukraine. i guess it rubbed off 😀

  46. cycleguy says:

    I knew it was right getting your help Zee. You explained t-i-c much better than I did. She might actually understand yours. 😛 I might have to do a post on squinty eyes…or you can. Meanwhile, I have to write one on “come as you are” culture.

  47. cycleguy says:

    Sorry Zee. Reckon I misunderstood how much time you had spent here and add me to your list of “confused about the chamber.” I would say 18 years is a long time to run around with Yanks and not have it rub off. 🙂

  48. Zee says:

    Bill: no prob 🙂 and yes, when you are 6 years old and stubborn as to not ask mom to translate for ya all the time, you learn quickly.

  49. Zee says:

    (wow, we really hijacked your post… sorry Bill…)

  50. Ani says:

    Wooow! Thanks you two! Zee, did explain it better, yes.
    My day didn’t start that good but you two made me laugh. Thanks!

  51. Toby says:

    Bill, this comment strand is a PRIME example why you need Intense Debate or DISQUS comment system…you need the hook up….Yo?
    There, I added some yankee slang of my own :D.

  52. Zee says:

    IntenseDebate is certainly a good thing…

  53. cycleguy says:

    Zee: Yep hijacked. Stubborn? you?

    Ani: glad Zee helped

  54. Jim F. says:

    That is a good question that I am not too sure how to answer at this point. Now you have given me something to ponder today.

  55. Zee says:

    Bill: yes, stubborn me… (or was that a tongue-in-cheek sarcasm?) 😀

    i am stubborn in the understanding that i do not like to bother others with my stuff… so i learn to do everything myself… it’s a good thing sometimes.

  56. cycleguy says:

    Toby: I had trouble once with ID so not too sure about that. Send me the info by email.

  57. cycleguy says:

    Jim: thanks for the input. Glad you are thinking about it.

  58. I guess for me it’s trying to be “available”…in the sense of if someone needs to talk (i.e. wants prayer)at work, or asking someone how they really are after looking into their eyes. I’m sure I miss opportunities and I need to listen closer to the Holy Spirit.

    Thanks for giving me something to ponder…

  59. Tom Raines says:

    I am obviously tuning in late and not sure about the moderation system or what happened to the thread. Thank you for sharing. It seems honesty and transparency is the best way to reach the unchurched (coming from a recovery perspective). The body of Christ should feel free to just share their story of what God has and is doing for them with real life answers and not church answers. Real struggles and real life with willingness to share imperfection. It’s ok to not be ok and just see how amazing this God is when you turn to Him and seek His face. I can’t seem to put this into words but if everyone in the church were comfortable enough to be transparent and honest in their struggles then as God shows Himself to them and then that is a repeatable story…a true life story the unchurched can relate to and feel welcome in. Sorry for the ramble but I hope you find some point in there…reading this was probably more painful than the implant! HA..hope you are better.

  60. cycleguy says:

    Jay: you’re welcome. I think availability is the key.

  61. cycleguy says:

    Tom: I apologize for the mess up. We were trying to install Intense Debate (at someone’s suggestion) so it shut the system down. we eventually disabled it due to overload. On your thoughts: we should be free to share our thoughts with honesty and discretion. You have chosen to do that on your blog and I appreciate knowing more about your struggles. No problem about the ramble. 🙂

  62. Toby says:

    I get the feeling I’m being blamed here…LOL Ya gotta do that Intense Debate import overnight man! Way too much stuff for the middle of the day :-). I know, I know….now I tell ya 😀

  63. cycleguy says:

    Toby: Actually our server stopped it. Said way too much to put on.

  64. Zee says:

    hmmm… now I feel technologically challenged… how do i see the comments before #51? O_o

    • cycleguy says:

      Zee: I am able to see them because of my Admin ability. But I too wonder about that. Reckon will have to check with my techgeek.

  65. Ani says:

    I had the same thing as Zee. But didn’t think of to write it as a comment.

    Zmart Zee!

    • cycleguy says:

      Aji and Zmart Zee (cool idea Ani): I have emailed my techgeek and asked him. He is going “live” today in his business so it may take a day or two or three before I hear anything.

    • Zee says:

      tee hee, i got a nickname 😀 and it’s not even a Warrior Princess 😀

      *hug* you make me smile, Ani 🙂

  66. Zee says:

    (oh, yay, i found a way… just changed the link a bit…

    http://billgrandi.ovcf.org/wordpress/?p=4488&cpage=2#comment-9725 into http://billgrandi.ovcf.org/wordpress/?p=4488&cpage=1#comment-9725 – cpage is the comment page number )

  67. Ani says:

    Umm, Cycle Bob, who’s Aji????

    Oops Sorry I meant Bill.

  68. Michelle says:

    72 comments!! ok, all i wanted to say was, I feel for you. I had braces put on when I was 28 and then I got pregnant. Do you know how retarded I looked? I looked like a 17 yr old with child. Silly. And apparently there is some fettish about girls in braces. Yikes. Don’t ask me how I know that. I just do. So not only were dudes staring at me because apparently my braces turned them on, but I was about to pop out a child…and yeah, it sucked. I got my braces off the week before I had him and it was terribly uncomfortable sitting in a chair with an 11 pound kid (he was 11 pounds too) in my stomache and not being able to breath and saying “hang on, I can’t breath” plus they were drilling on my mouth. Yikes. And I know this has nothing to do with your question, but I just wanted to say I feel for you…in some odd weird way.

    • cycleguy says:

      WOW Michelle: that is sort of funny in a way. I am still amazed by the 11 pound “baby” You had to be one uncomfortable mother. Thanks for the story.

  69. Michelle says:

    By the way, you aren’t self righteous :). I’m sorry I came off snappy if I did. I honestly did not mean to hurt anyones feelings. I’m just having a bad day and I apologize if you took my comment incorrectly. I know you care..really I do!

    • cycleguy says:

      For those who wonder about this: Michelle’s blog had a post about Fear and I commented on it and was afraid that she may have seen my comment as self-righteous. Check out her blog if you want to see.

      No harm Michelle. Glad you saw it that way (I posted on yours). We all have bad days when things don’t come out as we want them to. And yes, I do care.