There are times I sit down at the computer to write this blog and things just flow. It is like something else is taking over my fingers because thoughts and words just sort of roll right off them. There are other times that I struggle with what to say. Then there are those times when I feel a definite “weight” on my shoulders/heart, like I need to say something but can’t seem to put my finger on it. This is one of those times. I’m not really sure why to be honest unless it is tied to my yesterday afternoon.
I had the afternoon all planned. I went for a 23.4 mile ride with my riding buddy (which my wife is glad that I now have) and after a quick shower, I had planned to do some errands and head back to the church building to view the Wild at Heart DVD since I plan to begin that next Monday evening. Well…you know what they say about the “best laid plans of mice and men?” Yeah. I was a “victim” of that yesterday. How was I supposed to know that in the course of my errands one question would lead to another and then another until I had spent over 45 minutes with a person who had just gone through a divorce? This person had also invested a lot of years in a marriage (and extreme narcissism) that fell apart a long time ago. My heart was heavy when I left because of another marriage biting the dust but I was also strangely heartened by the faith shown. We covered a range of topics that included the whole “name it, claim it” garbage that some suggested this person try. Fortunately, this person saw that junk for what it was- something straight from the pit of hell that smelled like smoke.
I don’t know if you have ever read the story of Jonah and if you have given any serious thought to the incident in chapter 4 with the plant that offered shade. Jonah was extremely grateful for that plant until the next day when God had a worm attack the plant so that it withered. Jonah was angry. He was stubborn, rebellious, self-righteous, self-serving, and full of pride- acting as though he deserved that plant. His anger over the wilted plant was due to the assumption that God owed him something. After all, he did go to Ninevah and preach to those hated people! ‘Course he must have forgotten that it took a storm and a big fish to get him there. Then he got upset because God’s heart was gracious and forgiving toward the people of Ninevah. But, after all he had done for God, God owed him! Sound familiar?
It is funny (not haha funny) how we get our undies in a bunch and often allow our thoughts to get all twisted when it comes to approaching God. While we may not voice it (we are too spiritual for that), we think about how much we have done for God and how it ought to count for something. We deserve extra credit…or something! But God has never been and never will be manipulated by our puny attempts to “blackmail/bribe” Him.
So…here’s the deal. Plain and simple. I have felt someone needed to hear this today. (Maybe I myself did) Not sure why. No visitation. No handwriting on the wall. No loud voice. Just that nagging of my inner voice-the Holy Spirit-speaking to my heart. I would like to pray for you today. No flowery words. No long speech. No “God do this or else.” (Yikes!). Just a simple prayer for God’s will to be made known to you. If you care to comment and put your request in front of others for them to pray, feel free to do so. If you would like me to join you in prayer today for something weighing on your heart but would like it to be private, feel free to shoot me an email: pastorATovcf.org. I cannot promise you dynamic results. I can only promise you that I will join my heart with yours in asking God to make His desires for you known.
An aside: there are many details of the above conversation left out…on purpose. I value the privacy of individuals and confidence they place in me. I also know some local people read this. Just so you know… Now! how can I pray for you?
Thanks for following the Spirit Bill. I was taken aback when I just read your blog in how the Spirit also was moving in my heart this morning. I had the SAME EXACT thoughts this morning as I sat to write only after the fact. As I read the scriptures my mind was jumbled with the direction I would go and when I read the finished I knew the Spirit had ordered my thoughts..the fact my message was about His will is kind of weird too…anyhooo.I have no doubt the Spirit’s target will be hit whether it is you, me or someone else. His will be done!
tom: thanks for the encouragement. i wish I could say i was always sensitive to the Spirit but can’t. however, like you I am praying God will speak.
My family and I need strength in this season.
Thank you.
You got it Michael. In fact, I am responding at 8:13 and I can promise that you all were prayed for this morning at 4:00 a.m. Blessings!
Thank you Bill and you were at about 5:20 am.
Thanks Michael. Always appreciated.
Your words are a comfort. Thank you for your faithfulness in sitting down to the keyboard and typing when you thought you couldn’t express what was going on inside.
Thanks Scott. You were prayed for this morning.
I am glad you were able to be there for those who were hurting Bill. Sometimes that is all that is needed.
I also appreciate the willingness to put your name,number, and you heart out there for people.
Keep up the great work, I pray that your prayers for those who contact you shall change them internally for God!
Thanks Matthew for your encouraging words. I know people have done the same for me. BTW: checked out your blog. You got me thinking about that iPhone I have been thinking of getting. 🙂 Also commented on Tony’s latest post. Thanks for visiting mine.
I often find myself frustrated when I can’t follow through on my plans because of someone else’s drama. I will sit and listen, impatiently squirming inside. But when I walk away I always feel refreshed and comforted for taking the time and doing God’s will instead of my own. Thank you for the post.
Frank: I can relate. I had to tell myself several times “Slow down bill. Listen to the heart of this person.” I am glad I did. It gave that person a voice.
Thanks for visiting Frank. Went to your blog and commented on the “Army without Swords” post. 🙂
Thanks! I’ll go check it out. This was my first visit here even though I’ve seen your comments here and there. I’ll be sure to check back.
Thanks for coming back Frank. Will keep checking back on yours as well.
(I started to reply to your comment on my site when my carpool showed up. My blog is blocked by my work firewall, go figure, so I’ll get back to you at the end of the day. Have a great day!)
Ah. We all do this at some point. We have it all figured out – except we don’t.
Bless you for allowing God to use you in such special ways, even when it is contrary to your plans 🙂
If we are honest, we have probably all fallen victim to the “I did this, so You should do that” mentality on occassion. That’s why I feel really blessed to have a support system to remind me to slow it down.
About sums it up Kim: we think we have it all figured but we don’t. 🙂 Also glad you have a support system that keeps you in line. 😛 Thanks for the comment.
I am sure the person who talked with you yeseterday was blessed, you have a gift of being able to listen, care and encourage when a person is hurting.
I know I have been guilty of getting mad at God because He didn’t do what I thought He should for me or a loved one. Thanks for the blog, as always, very good & moving.
Please keep my oldest in your prayers, lots of financial, housing issues & he is meeting with Brian D. tomorrow night. Thank you for your prayers.
Thanks jan. I hope that person was also. Sent you an email about Z.
Joining you in prayer that our eyes may be open to what God is doing and what He would have us do… that our hearts may be ignited with a passion for following His lead… that our minds would be His to fill… that our strength will be made complete in Him.
Thanks and well put Dusty. Can tell you spend time praying and in the Word. 🙂
Have I ever thought God owed me? As sad and ridiculous as it is, I would say yes. That thought creeps back more often than I’d like to admit. There’s no reason to attempt manipulating God (as if it would work anyway) because He loves us so much. We just have to be willing for situations and life not to look exactly how we think they should. “Not my will, but yours be done…”
Thanks Bill. Good word.
I think the thought is more prevalent than we would like to admit jason. Especially for pastors who “give their lives to the calling.” Not my will but yours is the solution for sure. Thanks for coming by.
Hi Bill,
God has done well for us. He sent his Holy Spirit to be our helper, guide and teacher while we are in this world. He has housed the Holy Spirit right inside of us.
He gave his Word- the Bible- so we could read, understand and get to know Him. He sent his Son to make a way for us to get to where he is. He gave us prayer so that we can communicate with Him.
He gave us great and precious promises as we obey Him.
I think that we have to arrange our life to accommodate his agenda.
Does it really matter in eternity if our errands were all done on time here on earth?
Other than the tasks necessary for obtaining our food, clothing and shelter everything else is an aside.
Many people have allowed the world to tell them how they are going to live and not God.
The heaven and earth that we live in now and that we know is only here until the return of Christ. After that, God says they will be destroyed and a new heaven and earth will be made.
Linda: hope it didn’t come off as I was bemoaning messing up my afternoon. I was thrilled to be used by God in helping someone else.
Hi Bill,
If you think of it keep me in prayer for energy and stamina to get ready for trial. I have photocopying and trial books to organize as well as put together some legal argument for my case.
I’m still working to get full disclosure from my former husband in the Court. I’m hoping to get everything I need for information and documents in the next few weeks. Prayers are appreciated. Thank you.
Will be glad to do that. Sounds like you have a yeoman’s job ahead of you.
I apologize for having missed commenting here for the past few days…sometimes I can’t keep it all going ya know?
I appreciate SO much the prayers and the fact that you listened to the Holy Spirit…
…I don’t think I can bare my soul here or what I have been going through but I will say that I could use your prayers in a great way for me and my family.
You have such a tender heart for the Lord and for others. Thank you.
No apology needed Julie. Busy schedules tend to play havoc with us. You are already prayed for and will pray specifically for your family. Thanks for the kind words.
Late to the game and I know you pray for me daily but need prayers for the bank to accept the offer on our home. Thanks my friend!
That is so cool Jim! I know it would a tremendous weight off your shoulders. Will definitely pray that way.
(finally got to read the posts and comment)))
heh, sometimes i feel like my life is like a pendulum – either i swing in direction of “but, God, You promised…” in a kiddy whiny voice (knowing full well that it was NOT what He promised) or in the weighty direction of “wow… i will never be able to pay it back to Him” (i guess this position is better than the other, but most of the times it prevents me from enjoying His grace and mercy…)
loved what you said about the prayer “I cannot promise you dynamic results. I can only promise you that I will join my heart with yours in asking God to make His desires for you known.” – love the honesty of the statement.
Mine is often like a pendulum also Zee. Thanks for your kind words at the end. 🙂